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No. But the principle is the same: guy buys engagement ring in hope of future marriage, girl fills chest in hopes of future marriage.
One is personal to the person. One is for another person and should take their tastes into account. Btw, I don't know anyone who still does hope chests. I like the example someone else gave - it would be as creepy as a woman buying a wedding dress before even dating someone. It just reeks of "I'm more into the idea of marriage than I am into you."
You don't wear an engagement ring for the rest of your life though.
Says who? I've been married for 16 years and wear mine all the time with my wedding band. I know women who have extravagant rings and don't wear them every day because of commuting or it gets in the way with their work but otherwise they wear it on weekends or other occassions.
I don't see the big deal. He believes he will get married some day.Back in the day high school girls started a hope chest collecting things for when they were married.
For me, it's the fact that he bought it based on the romanticized idea of someone, not an actual someone. Also, there are other things to consider...time-limited returns/exchanges, ring-sizing, warranties for damage/repairs, if the store it was purchased from is even in business years later.
Ya'll are lucky the quote function is not working and I am too lazy to copy/paste and add the quote boxes myself...
First off, what is the difference between a woman planning her wedding since childhood, and a guy having an idea of the kind of ring he would like her to wear? Or how he previously planned to propose to you? I know, I know; it is all about her...and his money. The guy digs you enough to want to commit to you for the rest of your lives, yet, he got the ring thing all wrong so you are going to dump his sorry behind? Really? Sounds like you were not in love with him to begin with.
And, we are talking about an engagement ring her folks, not the actual wedding ring. I suppose it is all about flaunting the engagement ring to your friends: Look at the diamond on this sucker! Wow! I just know the wedding ring is going to be even more spectacular. Okay, that was a bit extreme, but think about it: it seems romantic that he had you in mind when he was shopping for the ring, but really, doesn't the romance lie in the actual act of proposing?
Also, what if he knows he wants to get married at some point in the future, has the cash to buy a ring now (even if he is single), and goes ahead and buys it now while he can just in case something happens to his cash-flow in the future. Sounds practical to me. Then again, I am a man. What do I know about romance? The ring can always be altered, you know.
With that, I wonder what kind of guy would actually admit the ring was pre-purchased for a future wife he had yet to meet? That does seem odd, but as long as the two of you are in love, committed, and desiring a future together; does it really matter that much?
Unless the engagement ring has an accompanying wedding band, what is the big deal? An engagement ring is really just a promise ring. As long as you get the ring you want that you will actually wear for the rest of your life....
Weird. It's like you were waiting for the right "player" in your game to come along to fulfill some kind of fantasy, a dream? I can't explain it. I wouldn't feel special and I'd probably question the motives. It's almost as bad as women who are not even in a relationship but are wedding dress shopping. Seems desperate to me.
Weird. It's like you were waiting for the right "player" in your game to come along to fulfill some kind of fantasy, a dream? I can't explain it. I wouldn't feel special and I'd probably question the motives. It's almost as bad as women who are not even in a relationship but are wedding dress shopping. Seems desperate to me.
You pick out the kids names too?
My son's name will be kickass and my daughter's, army chick
I agree with K-Luv. How is this any different than how some women begin planning their wedding in childhood. Its just my opinion but I feel people put way too much importance on the engagement ring. Worrying about the size of the diamond, if he paid equivalent of x amount of pay checks, if it suits her taste. I thought it was suppose to be a token or symbol of love, fidelity and commitment not representative of a peacock strutting his plumage to impress or a gift to buy her affections.I think of the unsinkable Molly Brown who, though out to find a rich man, fell in love with a poor man and accepted a cigar band as his token of love and commitment. Perhaps because the engagement ring/ritual was really about him giving himself to her, not about her, her taste, warranties, damages and exchanges.
I declare BS. It's not like the ring was purchased for some other woman he broke up with before getting together with you.
how can you call BS on someone stating their opinion after you explicitly asked for it?
anyway count me as +1 for it's a little nuts and would weird me out. it seems really needy and would worry me that your neediness to marry clouds your more rational thoughts. might work if you find a gal who wants to get married as badly as you, but that's also a risky mix. two people that needy are either very very happy or very very tumultuous with little middle ground, IMO, and more often the latter
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheImportersWife
It would depend on the diamond.
now that's friggen' hilarious!
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