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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caddy1316
I've seen absolutley nothing happen to women who hit men in bars. If you haven't, you must not go out much. You are picking and choosing, because you are claiming that this particular double standard (one where men are disadvantaged) doesn't even exist when it so clearly does.
I've been going out pretty often (almost every night in my 20s) for over 20 years and never saw "nothing" happen to anyone that hit anyone. Even in a smaller place the bartender will eject both parties without a second thought as no one wants a police visit and risk having their license suspended. This is the case everywhere, from smaller college towns like Madison and Burlington, to bigger cities like SF and Chicago, to small hick places like Henderson KY and middle of nowhere Indiana (among many other places I've lived and worked). No one wants a police visit and they don't put up with crud from any gender.
You're young though, so it is clear you haven't been out much. Oh, and this includes many years in my 20s (in Madison) checking IDs and bar backing at college bars.
Last edited by timberline742; 10-31-2013 at 09:36 AM..
I've seen absolutley nothing happen to women who hit men in bars. If you haven't, you must not go out much. You are picking and choosing, because you are claiming that this particular double standard (one where men are disadvantaged) doesn't even exist when it so clearly does.
Or maybe we just go to different kinds of bars... The bars I used to go to didn't have anyone hitting anyone.
It is young male thinking (that if you are threatened or touched that you can beat someone and call it defense). Sadly, I once had it, thankfully, I grew out of it. It's part of that wisdom thing we discussed earlier.
I think everyone as young children and even through the early teen years had that retaliatory urge. I'm no saint either and I recalled my first first was with a boy. In this case, he punched me first and I fell on the ground. The happened next is I got up quickly and he had a surprise look on his face as I proceeded punching him until our teacher had to pull me away from him or else I wouldn't stop. In 7th grade, I use try to fight most girls that were verbally and emotionally bullying me (sometimes with words but if they got me too upset, I would try going physically and lost one fight to a smaller girl). In my younger self, I saw it as just defending myself against further humiliations in school and trying to fit in; not understanding why no one wanted to be my friend and what I was doing wrong to deserve such treatment. This reminds me of Big Patty from the Hey Arnold episodes. She's a big girl that gets bullied at school and even when she fights or beats up her bullies, they still torment her. The only difference is I wasn't fat as a kid (only tall) but I can relate to that cartoon character.
Just like you, as the years went by and I got older I started maturing and thinking wisely about actions and how everything has consequences. One day that retaliatory urge I had was gone. No need to scoop down to someone's level.
I've seen absolutley nothing happen to women who hit men in bars. If you haven't, you must not go out much. You are picking and choosing, because you are claiming that this particular double standard (one where men are disadvantaged) doesn't even exist when it so clearly does.
I've been going to bars fairly regularly for about 20 years, in the 5 states I've lived in during that time and in my travels all over the U.S. and abroad. I honestly can't think of a single time I've ever seen a woman hit a man in a bar. Not in pubs in rural Ireland, redneck Honky Tonks in Texas, working class dive bars in Chicago, Gary, or Milwaukee, hipster bars in Brooklyn, live music joints in Austin, college bars all over the Big 12 and Big 10, lumberjack bars in rural British Columbia, ski bum mountain town bars in Colorado and New Mexico, or dens of total debauchery in New Orleans, San Francisco, and Mexican border towns. Never.
Where exactly are these bars where women beat up men? I don't feel like my life of barhopping will be complete now until I go to one of them. I can think of a couple of times when I saw men hit men in crowded college-type bars in my early 20's, but that's about it.
Last edited by nearnorth; 10-31-2013 at 11:40 AM..
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth
I've been going to bars fairly regularly for about 20 years, in the 5 states I've lived in during that time and in my travels all over the U.S. and abroad. I honestly can't think of a single time I've ever seen a woman hit a man in a bar. I can think of a handful of times when I saw men hit men in crowded college-type bars in my early 20's, but that's about it.
I saw that more near last call (men hitting men), but again, same thing. Both people gotta go! Now! One out the front, one out the back.
Well, you have to remember that people with lower numbers drag the average down. It's just an average.
I am kind of amazed though. I didn't realize I was so unusual. I've had just 3 partners--two long-term boyfriends and my now Ex husband. I only just started dating again after the divorce, and I haven't had any committed relationships yet (most have just been one date fizzles. The only exception is the man I am dating now. We've been on a handful of dates, but he moves really, really painfully slow with the physical. I've had to initiate everything and even then he seems uncomfortable. I kissed him on the second date and you'd have thought I tried to jump him right there. So I had to back off a lot. I don't think he's had a girlfriend in 6-7 years, so I think it's nerves on his part. Either that or he's not really interested in me and I am setting myself up to be hurt--which I can see as a possibility too.)
Anyway, 3 is an easy number to keep track of (I don't even need to "count" it. I mean, it's not too hard to remember I've had two boyfriends and an ex husband). If you multiple it by something or add 10 or whatever, you are really, really exaggerating that number. I end up having had sex with more men than I've had as boyfriends in my life!
Maybe he had a bad past experience.
Most of the women I've ever quizzed about this question have answered 'I've been around the block a few times' or something to that effect. I guess that meant they lost count or never kept count. Not judging, just was curious.
I had a girl pour a water on my head once. I then poured my double crown ajd water over hers. She tried to attack me but she got kicked out.
As for random grabbing, ive had my ass and package grabbed by random women more times then I could remember. I don't go out like I used to, maybe a handful of times this year, but it even happened again randomly a couple months ago. I don't get offended like most women tho, I suppose its a compliment. Much of the grabbing occurs during halloween.
It is young male thinking (that if you are threatened or touched that you can beat someone and call it defense). Sadly, I once had it, thankfully, I grew out of it. It's part of that wisdom thing we discussed earlier.
Even more unfortunately, some backwards states are adopting it into law under the "stand your ground" mindset.
Once again, nothing you've stated here can be attributed to anything I posted on this thread.
I've been going to bars fairly regularly for about 20 years, in the 5 states I've lived in during that time and in my travels all over the U.S. and abroad. I honestly can't think of a single time I've ever seen a woman hit a man in a bar. Not in pubs in rural Ireland, redneck Honky Tonks in Texas, working class dive bars in Chicago, Gary, or Milwaukee, hipster bars in Brooklyn, live music joints in Austin, college bars all over the Big 12 and Big 10, lumberjack bars in rural British Columbia, ski bum mountain town bars in Colorado and New Mexico, or dens of total debauchery in New Orleans, San Francisco, and Mexican border towns. Never.
Where exactly are these bars where women beat up men? I don't feel like my life of barhopping will be complete now until I go to one of them. I can think of a couple of times when I saw men hit men in crowded college-type bars in my early 20's, but that's about it.
Don't know what to tell you, but I don't find it at all surprising that the guys who white knight thread after thread have the same story. "I've never seen a perfect angel, er excuse me, woman, hit a man."
I've been bar legal for all of 6 years now and I've seen multiple occasions of women slapping a guy and walking away. On occasion a bouncer will and boot her, but I've seen and experienced instances where nothing goes down. Not "beating" them up. One slap. Seen it in Chicago clubs, seen it college bars, seen it in Metro Detroit. Ive been plenty of other places, but not frequently enough to see something like that go down, although I did see a dude got straight socked in LA by some linebacker looking chick, but she got booted.
The whole point is if a man does it to a woman, it is a MUCH bigger deal. That by definition is a double standard.
You're going to the wrong places filled with crazy women. There will always be rotten apples but not everyone is like that. We're not all wild, out of control animals as you like to think.
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