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Old 10-29-2013, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,544,204 times
Reputation: 16394

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Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
The difference between what you are describing is that you never had a discussion about it and you just assumed. We did have a discussion, but what she said wasn't the truth.
From your OP it sounded like you did have a discussion, and she said she was dating other people. Dating obviously means you weren't exclusive and both of you were free to see other people.

Dating can turn into something serious fairly quickly so I don't know what you were expecting, it couldn't have been made more clear.
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Old 10-29-2013, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,243,281 times
Reputation: 30254
sorry, she played you. learn from this and move on
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:08 PM
 
Location: mainland but born oahu
6,657 posts, read 7,707,230 times
Reputation: 3136
Idk, just my opinion. A good person would try to think about others feelings. My opinion, there is no excuse not to tell someone hey im dating others if you been dating for awhile and i met someone and it maybe serious. Its not asking permission but giving the other person the option to decide whats right in his life. It sounds like this girl is self centered and was playing the field to get the best pick without being the best person herself. Sorry man must feel bad. Ive had it happen.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:14 PM
 
896 posts, read 1,173,303 times
Reputation: 1283
She didn't like you much. If she did, she wouldn't have wanted anyone else. Question. Are you sleeping together?
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:16 PM
 
3,770 posts, read 6,711,138 times
Reputation: 3019
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
From your OP it sounded like you did have a discussion, and she said she was dating other people. Dating obviously means you weren't exclusive and both of you were free to see other people.

Dating can turn into something serious fairly quickly so I don't know what you were expecting, it couldn't have been made more clear.
My OP stated 2 discussions. One was that she had been meeting people online but hadn't dated anyone beyond the first meeting. That discussion was first and at that point she was telling me the truth. The second discussion was about her out of state friend that came to visit for a week. Obviously someone you meet on a dating site that travels by plane to see you twice isn't a friend. The effort was made by her to make the situation UNCLEAR. Here is how she could have made it clear: A guy I met on a dating site is flying in for a week to see me. There. Not hard at all to make clearer.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:22 PM
 
3,770 posts, read 6,711,138 times
Reputation: 3019
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart View Post
Idk, just my opinion. A good person would try to think about others feelings. My opinion, there is no excuse not to tell someone hey im dating others if you been dating for awhile and i met someone and it maybe serious. Its not asking permission but giving the other person the option to decide whats right in his life. It sounds like this girl is self centered and was playing the field to get the best pick without being the best person herself. Sorry man must feel bad. Ive had it happen.
Thanks, It's ok. I didn't have high hopes about things working out between us and it was a while ago. I just got annoyed that she wasn't honest. And also, it was like she thought I was stupid and couldn't figure it out.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:27 PM
 
Location: mainland but born oahu
6,657 posts, read 7,707,230 times
Reputation: 3136
Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
Thanks, It's ok. I didn't have high hopes about things working out between us and it was a while ago. I just got annoyed that she wasn't honest. And also, it was like she thought I was stupid and couldn't figure it out.
Well that the way selfish people are, they hope your dumb so they can get what they want. My suggestion, work on yourself and the right one will show herself. Good luck.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:31 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,961,433 times
Reputation: 6848
I would consider it a lie and dump her if she hadn't dumped me first. You and she have incompatible ethics. Hers would work ok for some people, but not for you. Or me.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
38,969 posts, read 27,353,595 times
Reputation: 15909
Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
This is something that happened a while ago. I was casually dating someone. It had just been 1-2 months. She said that she sometimes meets other people online, but they were just dates, not anyone that she ended up being interested in dating again. So she said a friend was coming into town to visit for a week. She was new to the area, so it seemed very believable that a friend from another state would visit. About a month later the friend visited again for a week. So I asked for details, because it would be very unusual for an out of state friend to visit again after a short time. It turned out that it was someone from a dating site, who soon after moved in with her. I think it would be fine if she didn't tell me what was up the first visit, since you never know if you will actually like the person you haven't met yet. But for her to say, that it's a friend visiting the second time is a lie. What do you think?

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Old 10-29-2013, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,544,204 times
Reputation: 16394
Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
My OP stated 2 discussions. One was that she had been meeting people online but hadn't dated anyone beyond the first meeting. That discussion was first and at that point she was telling me the truth. The second discussion was about her out of state friend that came to visit for a week. Obviously someone you meet on a dating site that travels by plane to see you twice isn't a friend. The effort was made by her to make the situation UNCLEAR. Here is how she could have made it clear: A guy I met on a dating site is flying in for a week to see me. There. Not hard at all to make clearer.
So? You weren't exclusive and you knew she was seeing other people. Since she was seeing other people (even just first dates) she obviously wasn't that into you.

Seems pretty clear to me.
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