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I don't date now, but to be honest, when I was dating and I went out on a first date with someone, it really wasn't any of my business if they did have a FWB.
Everyone needs to get laid, why not have one partner instead of a bunch of one night stands?
However, after dates 2 or 3 and she was still sleeping with FWB, then yes, I'd have a problem.
Last edited by Charlotte Panthers; 10-30-2013 at 08:14 AM..
I know that I am probably in the minority, but I don't think FWB ends up being in reality what it is in theory. Unless both people are sociopaths or robots, someone in that relationship cares to some degree and there will be attachment and along with that there will be drama. I want no part of that mess. In my mind, a FWB is no different to me than if a man had a girlfriend. And just like I wouldn't start dating a man with a girlfriend or would get upset to find out he had one I didn't know about while dating me, I wouldn't date a man with a FWB and would likely get upset to find out about it later.
I know that I am probably in the minority, but I don't think FWB ends up being in reality what it is in theory. Unless both people are sociopaths or robots, someone in that relationship cares to some degree and there will be attachment and along with that there will be drama. I want no part of that mess. In my mind, a FWB is no different to me than if a man had a girlfriend. And just like I wouldn't start dating a man with a girlfriend or would get upset to find out he had one I didn't know about while dating me, I wouldn't date a man with a FWB and would likely get upset to find out about it later.
Of course someone in that relationship cares to some degree, the F in FWB stands for Friends, meaning there is a relationship outside of sex and that's a friendship. Just as in any other friendship their is a level of caring, but its not the same level as one would have towards a girl friend or boy friend.
If you aren't dating someone or friends with someone and you're having sex together, then it's not a FWB relationship, it's a one night stand or someone you have a booty call with.
I've been in both situations where a FWB relationship didnt work out and where it did, but that doesn't mean I'm a sociopath or robot. It works for some people, and it doesn't work for everyone.
Would you date someone if they had a FWB but promised to stop seeing that person?
Sure. I had a FWB when I started dating my ex.
If it is a true FWB there shouldn't have to be a promise to stop seeing that person. Once you are at a place where you are ready to start dating you no longer have a need for a FWB.
The point of a FWB, IMO, is when you are, for whatever reason, not able to date or invest emotionally in a romantic relationship.
Of course someone in that relationship cares to some degree, the F in FWB stands for Friends, meaning there is a relationship outside of sex and that's a friendship. Just as in any other friendship their is a level of caring, but its not the same level as one would have towards a girl friend or boy friend.
If you aren't dating someone or friends with someone and you're having sex together, then it's not a FWB relationship, it's a one night stand or someone you have a booty call with.
I've been in both situations where a FWB relationship didnt work out and where it did, but that doesn't mean I'm a sociopath or robot. It works for some people, and it doesn't work for everyone.
Didn't mean to imply that people who have FWB relationships are sociopaths or robots... I was trying to say "unless" they are, someone is going probably going to end up caring and get attached. My point is, in my eyes, I don't see how FWB is any different from having a girlfriend or boyfriend. I mean, what exactly is the difference? Is it just not as "serious" a relationship? How is it any different from a new relationship where you just aren't committed yet?
To me, it looks the same as dating and I just don't want to get messed up in any of that drama.
Didn't mean to imply that people who have FWB relationships are sociopaths or robots... I was trying to say "unless" they are, someone is going probably going to end up caring and get attached. My point is, in my eyes, I don't see how FWB is any different from having a girlfriend or boyfriend. I mean, what exactly is the difference? Is it just not as "serious" a relationship? How is it any different from a new relationship where you just aren't committed yet?
To me, it looks the same as dating and I just don't want to get messed up in any of that drama.
Have you ever been in a FWB situation?
I ask because if you havent, then it's really hard to understand how it works.
I have a friend from a long time ago that when both of us were single, we'd sleep together, we both wanted to have sex but didn't want to have sex with random people. We didnt love each other, she was a friend to me just like any other friend I had. The only difference was that we had sex together.
It didn't change our relationship one bit, we're both married and have kids, and are still friends. We just don't have sex together anymore. It worked great for us.
I ask because if you havent, then it's really hard to understand how it works.
I have a friend from a long time ago that when both of us were single, we'd sleep together, we both wanted to have sex but didn't want to have sex with random people. We didnt love each other, she was a friend to me just like any other friend I had. The only difference was that we had sex together.
It didn't change our relationship one bit, we're both married and have kids, and are still friends. We just don't have sex together anymore. It worked great for us.
Nope. Never had a ONS either. So that could be part of it. I just not in my nature to have sex with a man I am not attracted to, attached to, falling in love with, dating, etc. So maybe I just have a hard time wrapping my head around it--for me, part of sex is having feelings for the person I am having sex with.
answer to OP: If everyone is honest and on board, then yes.
As another pointed out, someone might have an open FWB, you meet them, enjoy spending time together, and stuff escalates. There is not a point in time where it's not OK. Some people may be OK with open relationships, and then it's always OK. Others may want an exclusive relationship, and if you're open and honest, you can decide together when it's time to do that. If you can't agree on that, and you're being fully honest, then one or the other relationship is going to have to end.
Reality is that life is full of choices. (and to quote Rush Lyrics, "if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.)
Answer: Under the right circumstances, yes for now....
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