Would you date someone who currently had a FWB? (women, cheat, friend)
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See, I am attached to my friends and we do go out and do things (maybe not dancing, but I've been out to dinner and movies with friends). They are like family to me. Sometimes they go to family events too.
I actually don't make many friends. But the ones I have, I've had for years and years. I am still friends with everyone I went to elementary school, middle school, high school and college with (who were friends). Maybe once every 3-4 years, I make a new friend and sometimes friends do disappear in time (I've lost touch with 3 friends over the years for various reasons.).
I don't consider people I hang out with casually who fade in and out of my life (like work buddies I go to lunch with now and then) to be friends.
Let's face it, I don't get it because I am an odd duck! But my point is, I won't date with someone who has a current FWB... just like I wouldn't date someone who's in relationship, etc. Just isn't my style.
For me there are different levels of friendship. I cant really imagine having a FWB with a life long friend who I considered family. Perhaps casual friendships are the key to successful FWB.
I don't think your an odd duck. There seems to be a lot of people who do not like the concept of FWB.
I'm sure that would have been weird if you ever had met her.
I have met her. It wasn't weird because it was a mutual agreement. Not like we were having an affair. I actually ended the FWB because I met my now ex. I'm sure he found another FWB after me until he and his gf were reunited. We still remained friends when I started dating we just never had sex again.
Poster wasn't clear if they exclusivity happened before or during their "falling period", just that they learned about it after they were exclusive. If they went exclusive after that falling for each other period it isn't cheating as they weren't monogamous.
I meant if before exclusiveness was established if I found out later that while we were dating/"falling for each other" she had a FWB it would stain otherwise pleasant memories personally.
I meant if before exclusiveness was established if I found out later that while we were dating/"falling for each other" she had a FWB it would stain otherwise pleasant memories personally.
I would expect to be told by then. Disclosing a FWB before that point would be the right thing to do.
Failure to do so is not cool, IMO.
Obviously your choice if that person had a FWB would be a deal breaker for you.
It wouldn't be for me. However, failure to disclose during a certain time (like described) would be.
Of course someone in that relationship cares to some degree, the F in FWB stands for Friends, meaning there is a relationship outside of sex and that's a friendship. Just as in any other friendship their is a level of caring, but its not the same level as one would have towards a girl friend or boy friend.
If you aren't dating someone or friends with someone and you're having sex together, then it's not a FWB relationship, it's a one night stand or someone you have a booty call with.
I've been in both situations where a FWB relationship didnt work out and where it did, but that doesn't mean I'm a sociopath or robot. It works for some people, and it doesn't work for everyone.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John13
I would expect to be told by then. Disclosing a FWB before that point would be the right thing to do.
Failure to do so is not cool, IMO.
Why would you expect to be told about a FWB at all? To me, it is pretty clear that what happens before we go exclusive, or after we stop being exclusive, is not my business at all (outside of STD conversations, and that is as simple as a test now). Good boundaries make good relationships.
Why would you expect to be told about a FWB at all? To me, it is pretty clear that what happens before we go exclusive, or after we stop being exclusive, is not my business at all (outside of STD conversations, and that is as simple as a test now). Good boundaries make good relationships.
I added this to my post for clarification:
"Obviously your choice if that person had a FWB would be a deal breaker for you.
It wouldn't be for me. However, failure to disclose during a certain time (like described) would be."
Why would you expect to be told about a FWB at all? To me, it is pretty clear that what happens before we go exclusive, or after we stop being exclusive, is not my business at all (outside of STD conversations, and that is as simple as a test now). Good boundaries make good relationships.
Since you are very quick with the response I need to add this:
I am assuming she doesn't want to break off having relations. Instead will keep seeing the FWB secretly.
I would not be in favor of that.
How many of you are ok with the person you've just started seeing that has a FWB, still sleeping with the FWB while sleeping with you at the same time.
Are you ok with your partner sleeping with someone else as long as its not a serious relationship yet?
I suspect the vast majority of guys would rather be in a FWB with a woman that date her.
Think about it. In a FWB, a guy gets ALL the benefits of dating, but NONE of the restrictions. If a guy knew FWB was a possibility with a woman, why on earth would he settle for dating her?
Yeah it seems like men "benefit" more from a FWB.
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But my point is, I won't date with someone who has a current FWB... just like I wouldn't date someone who's in relationship, etc. Just isn't my style.
Yeah it seems like men "benefit" more from a FWB.
