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Men fear that if they don't agree to strict monogamy, the women who are their primary partners will leave them. But given a full range of options, they would be perfectly happy to have a primary relationship and a number of FWB relationships on the side.
...The real problem is that they are usually unwilling to allow women the same freedom. .
I think this is why more women than men are into polyamory. Men tend to be less able to deal with the emotions that they feel when their gf or wife has a bf.
Do you think it's skills thing or a hormonal thing, fo men?
I think this is why more women than men are into polyamory. Men tend to be less able to deal with the emotions that they feel when their gf or wife has a bf.
Do you think it's skills thing or a hormonal thing, fo men?
I think the claim that more women than men are into polyamory is just wrong. On the contrary, the number of men interested in non-monogamy is HUGE. The number of women interested seems to be much, much smaller.
There is a pattern I saw again and again as I got to know more and more polyamorous couples. Typically, the man was the one who first suggested opening up the relationship. The wife eventually agreed. But in most cases, the wife found it extremely easy to connect with non-monogamous men, while the husband found non-monogamous women in extremely short supply. This created lots of problems with couples trying to open up their relationship. It often took them years to get this problem sorted out.
But other than that, you're right. Men have a much bigger problem with their wives and GFs seeing other men than vice versa. I don't think it is hormonal. I think it is the way men are socialized. Much male jealousy isn't fed by fear of losing women, but by the fear of being humiliated by other men. That is why men often fly into jealous rages over women they are not even all that committed to.
Its true. Most of the women I've met have been either in relationships or in FWB's with studs while looking for a guy to have a relationship/marriage with(aka, the guy was one of those guys with a great financial future).
I do know a couple of average guys with FWB's. One is doing it with a crack head and the other with a single mother of 7 kids, each from a different father(both of the guys in the FWB are middle-class, white).
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I think the claim that more women than men are into polyamory is just wrong. On the contrary, the number of men interested in non-monogamy is HUGE. The number of women interested seems to be much, much smaller.
Depends on how old the women are. Women who are in their teens and 20's don't mind sharing the same handful of men with the rest of the women because they aren't looking for marriage and children, yet. Its only when they reach a certain age that they want to secure a man and lock down on his resources and earning ability or potential.
How many of you are ok with the person you've just started seeing that has a FWB, still sleeping with the FWB while sleeping with you at the same time.
Are you ok with your partner sleeping with someone else as long as its not a serious relationship yet?
Not really. IME, this kind if behavior will fly under the radar, and you will never know when they are having other 'relations'. Therefore, she may have had relations last night, this morning, or an hour before I see her. And I can't handle that. If she chooses to live her life like that, no problem. But I can't take someone seriously who does that. Therefore, they will never be gf material to me. Fun, sure, but the morals/behavior doesn't match mine, so I could never commit to that person.
Would you date someone if they had a FWB but promised to stop seeing that person?
Now that I know what a FWB is, it would depend on which benefits we are talking about here exactly. If we are talking about sex, et cetera, then this individual would need to stop seeing this other individual first (or at least to stop with these benefits). If we are talking about other benefits (cooking, et cetera), then Yes.
It's not exclusive until both parties say it's exclusive. I just assume a new person is dating other people or maybe even has a FWB unless and until we explicitly agree we are in an exclusive, monogamous relationship.
But honestly? I've never really had to deal with that that I know of. If I dated someone who ended a FWB relationship to commit to me, I wouldn't know it, because I just haven't dated someone sufficiently lacking in class to talk to me about other women in his life when he and I were only dating casually, whether he's sleeping with them or not. At most, it has been, "I'm seeing other people and am not looking for/ready for a committed relationship."
I probably wouldn't sleep with him, though. Casual dating to me means no sex.
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