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It doesn't matter. A woman will only know you have no experience if you tell her. So find a girl you can practice with.. get the experience.. then move on.
She may not know for a fact, but it is likely that she will SUSPECT that the guy has little or no experience. A decently perceptive woman can often sense if a guy (mid-20s or older) seems to lack sexual and/or relationship experience with the opposite sex. And possibly within 15-30 minutes after meeting the guy for the first time. There are verbal and nonverbal cues that indicate a lack of exposure to emotional intimacy. Mannerisms. The way he carries himself especially around adult women around his age or younger. How he answers certain questions. Unnatural/odd/tense behavior while in a group of friends and the conversation topic has something to do with sex. And so on. There are aspects of both relationships and sex that one simply cannot comprehend or fathom unless he has hands-on experience. Books, websites, Youtube videos, forums, porn, dating coaches, masturbation, etc etc are not adequate substitutes.
Also, relationship experience (especially long-term r-ships of at least one year) is far more important than sexual experience. Sex is easy for almost anyone to obtain, if their standards are low enough. Ho-hum. OTOH, relationship experience often (but not always) indicates that the guy actually knows how to read and engage women and is probably comfortable with interacting with women in various contexts (casual, serious, humorous, flirtatious, emotional, logical, romantic, while out in public, and so on). It *may* indicate that he's capable of paying attention and "getting the hint"...i.e. knows how to read between-the-lines and understands the subtleties, nuances and indirectness of communication. It MAY indicate that he understands that the "little things" matter. Lastly, there's a good chance that the guy who has prior relationships is simply a more interesting, fun and sociable person than the 25-30 yr old dude who lacks experience.
To put it bluntly, a 20 or 30-something guy who is at least decently alright in the social department (social skills, friends, etc.), has a life of his own (AND cares about that to the point where he isn't clingy) and isn't a complete numbnut is highly likely to have had at least one past relationship during his teens or 20s. Yes, even the very "busy" guys such as those in law school, medical school or those who work 60-80 hours/week. Sure, there's a small chance that a legit good guy who's 28+ years old simply had repeated bad luck, but most people at that age without experience are that way because of one or more underlying psychological issues (e.g. feeling of no self-worth) that would likely be red flags or dealbreakers to the vast majority of women. Or they live in or grew up in a very messed-up (and perhaps oppressive) culture.
However, I don't agree with the folks who stated that someone who has no relationship experience automatically have some sort of mental disorder such as autism or Aspergers. That's ridiculous. They likely have issues, yes...but those issues are usually entirely in their head, and thus can be overcome over a period of time with some determination and a 180-degree U-turn in attitude.
Even most folks who waited until their mid-late 30s before wanting a serious relationship (because they wanted to build up their careers, travel, etc.) still had prior relationship experience in their younger years, albeit short-term and casual.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
I think people find it strange to be an adult and a virgin because sex is pleasureful and good for you. Also i believe that most people just can't relate to the idea so like anything we can't relate to we find it strange or out of step with the world.
Is it fair? perhaps not. But it is what it is.
This is true. Being able to relate is important to many people. It can go a long way towards two people "getting" each other and clicking well.
It is widely believed (and I agree with it) that people don't truly know themselves until they are 25 to 30 years old. Part of learning about oneself is knowing what makes one tick sexually and what one wants in a partner and in a relationship. It's better and often much more fun to learn about and explore those things while young...chances are you're learning and discovering new things together instead of one person putting on his or her kid gloves and teaching the other.
Are you really asking how an SSRI treats anxiety? Do a Google search. They've been approved by the FDA and used widely for that purpose for two or three decades now. This isn't a secret.
I thought CD wasn't an accurate representation of the real world? Or it is when it becomes convenient for you?
It's not a representative sample of the real world. You didn't ask what percentage, though, you asked how many. There enough here to qualify as "quite a few" regardless of whether they exist in the same proportion in the population as a whole.
Are you really asking how an SSRI treats anxiety? Do a Google search. They've been approved by the FDA and used widely for that purpose for two or three decades now. This isn't a secret.
No I am not. But those drugs while guving a person a better, less negative outlook on life, do not help said person see themselves as "so much more than the ugly guy in the mirror".
I suppose there are always pros and cons when it comes to dating a man who is inexperienced. A lot of Christians who were either virgins themselves or made the decision to remain celibate until they got married. So it is perhaps beneficial to be with someone who shares the same values. For some sexually active women, it perhaps would be fun to date an inexperienced man because it would be some kind of thrill to teach him how to get down. There of course were the ones who would be completely against dating a man who was inexperienced and viewed it as a major turn off. I personally can never date an inexperienced man, the idea of taking a man's virginity or being his first love interest just wasn't appealing. I also don't want the man to have unhealthy attachment in case the relationship went to hell.
Well, even my most independent and self-assured female friends in real life have admitted to wanting a man who knows how to take over in the bedroom. Dare I even go as far as saying there is a double standard, possibly sexist notion, that women who are virgins are prized (although this is debatable) and men who are virgins past a certain age are corny or not considered “real men.” Is it fair? perhaps not, but it is what it is.
Astute, you never answered my question from before. What, besides your physical appearance, do you bring to the world? Why do your friends seek out your company? In what group are you the popular one?
Why can't this be translated to your interactions with women? If people genuinely like you and want to spend time with you, women will too.
Also, you say you are "hideous" but I have no idea what that means. Are you deformed?
She may not know for a fact, but it is likely that she will SUSPECT that the guy has little or no experience. A decently perceptive woman can often sense if a guy (mid-20s or older) seems to lack sexual and/or relationship experience with the opposite sex. And possibly within 15-30 minutes after meeting the guy for the first time. There are verbal and nonverbal cues that indicate a lack of exposure to emotional intimacy. Mannerisms. The way he carries himself especially around adult women around his age or younger. How he answers certain questions. Unnatural/odd/tense behavior while in a group of friends and the conversation topic has something to do with sex. And so on. There are aspects of both relationships and sex that one simply cannot comprehend or fathom unless he has hands-on experience. Books, websites, Youtube videos, forums, porn, dating coaches, masturbation, etc etc are not adequate substitutes.
Also, relationship experience (especially long-term r-ships of at least one year) is far more important than sexual experience. Sex is easy for almost anyone to obtain, if their standards are low enough. Ho-hum. OTOH, relationship experience often (but not always) indicates that the guy actually knows how to read and engage women and is probably comfortable with interacting with women in various contexts (casual, serious, humorous, flirtatious, emotional, logical, romantic, while out in public, and so on). It *may* indicate that he's capable of paying attention and "getting the hint"...i.e. knows how to read between-the-lines and understands the subtleties, nuances and indirectness of communication. It MAY indicate that he understands that the "little things" matter. Lastly, there's a good chance that the guy who has prior relationships is simply a more interesting, fun and sociable person than the 25-30 yr old dude who lacks experience.
To put it bluntly, a 20 or 30-something guy who is at least decently alright in the social department (social skills, friends, etc.), has a life of his own (AND cares about that to the point where he isn't clingy) and isn't a complete numbnut is highly likely to have had at least one past relationship during his teens or 20s. Yes, even the very "busy" guys such as those in law school, medical school or those who work 60-80 hours/week. Sure, there's a small chance that a legit good guy who's 28+ years old simply had repeated bad luck, but most people at that age without experience are that way because of one or more underlying psychological issues (e.g. feeling of no self-worth) that would likely be red flags or dealbreakers to the vast majority of women. Or they live in or grew up in a very messed-up (and perhaps oppressive) culture.
However, I don't agree with the folks who stated that someone who has no relationship experience automatically have some sort of mental disorder such as autism or Aspergers. That's ridiculous. They likely have issues, yes...but those issues are usually entirely in their head, and thus can be overcome over a period of time with some determination and a 180-degree U-turn in attitude.
Even most folks who waited until their mid-late 30s before wanting a serious relationship (because they wanted to build up their careers, travel, etc.) still had prior relationship experience in their younger years, albeit short-term and casual.
This is true. Being able to relate is important to many people. It can go a long way towards two people "getting" each other and clicking well.
It is widely believed (and I agree with it) that people don't truly know themselves until they are 25 to 30 years old. Part of learning about oneself is knowing what makes one tick sexually and what one wants in a partner and in a relationship. It's better and often much more fun to learn about and explore those things while young...chances are you're learning and discovering new things together instead of one person putting on his or her kid gloves and teaching the other.
The only way a woman will suspect a guy has little experience is if the guy is nervous and constantly seeking her approval. But this doesn't always mean a lack of experience. Sometimes it just means a lack of experience with a certain type of woman. Like if a guy only dated fat girls in the past and now he is dating someone hot.
The bottom line is everyone has to start somewhere. Who cares if one woman out of the 4 billion women on this planet thinks you lack experience?
I agree with the guy above me and I see where everyone is coming from and we all doing are part in upholding stigma's and status quo's.
The one thing to learn is its better to have "issues" and experience than a person who has "issues" and has and no experience.
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