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This came up today in a RL conversation, and I thought I'd see what y'all have to say about it .
There tends to be a standard dogma among single guys that single = freedom and married = less freedom.
Now, to me, this seems very strange. Why be in a relationship in the first place if it doesn't increase your freedom?
So, what are some ways that you have found, that you are more free when married / dating seriously?
Some I can think of:
- Free to have young children and a successful career. This is very rarely possible for a single parent, before the kids are in school.
- Free to take short-term financial cuts in order to increase long-term financial benefit. For example, he can go to grad school while she works and supports the family. He doesn't have to work while in school.
- This one's harder to quantify, but it's big deal to me and, I think, a lot of people: So many risks and challenges in life are easier when you know someone always has your back.
We definitely seen that relationships increase your freedom to eat whatever the hell you want, Not exercise, and still have someone who will be with you/sleep with you,
I can think of a big one for me. When I'm single I tend to be very focused on dating and thinking about men--I've always been this way and at 54 I'm just as "boy crazy" as I was at 15. It sounds pathetic I know but I guess it's the way I'm made and I'm through trying to fight it--even when I try really hard to focus on my career I think about dating. But when I'm in a relationship all that goes away and my mind is free to focus on more important things and when I'm settled happily in a relationship I stop thinking about other men and my mind enjoys the break.
We definitely seen that relationships increase your freedom to eat whatever the hell you want, Not exercise, and still have someone who will be with you/sleep with you,
I guess I don't see things that way. If my BF decided he was going to stop taking care of himself, I'd be seriously considering liberating HIM.
I think they're referring to freedoms to do whatever the hell they want, i.e., sleep around, hang with friends, stay out late.
I seriously doubt they're thinking about freedoms to impregnate a woman and climb the career ladder.
I dunno, I have seen so many single men get seriously desperate to have kids, in their late 30s.
And it's not like they can just go out and get a donor, like women can.
I think not having to quit your job in order to have kids is a big benefit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185
We definitely seen that relationships increase your freedom to eat whatever the hell you want, Not exercise, and still have someone who will be with you/sleep with you,
I can think of a big one for me. When I'm single I tend to be very focused on dating and thinking about men--I've always been this way and at 54 I'm just as "boy crazy" as I was at 15. It sounds pathetic I know but I guess it's the way I'm made and I'm through trying to fight it--even when I try really hard to focus on my career I think about dating. But when I'm in a relationship all that goes away and my mind is free to focus on more important things and when I'm settled happily in a relationship I stop thinking about other men and my mind enjoys the break.
Oh, yes, that is a huge one, for me too!
Having a steady partner frees up so much time and energy!
Having a steady partner frees up so much time and energy!
Huh? Totally opposite for me. I have so little freaking time in my relationship...it's my main issue with even being in a relationship. But then, I'm a rather independent sort.
Huh? Totally opposite for me. I have so little freaking time in my relationship...it's my main issue with even being in a relationship. But then, I'm a rather independent sort.
I agree with you. I think this highlights the difference between people who really want/need to be in a relationship and those who do not.
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Happier maybe. But liberated? No.
