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If a woman told you that she will not wait for you past the 2 year mark, meaning that if you do not propose by then you are history, how would you interpret it? Would you think that was reasonable? Or would you interpret it as meaning that you are not something worth enough to wait it out and that you are just replaceable with another man?
If a woman found the man of her dreams would she really put a timeline on a proposal? Especially if it's just 2 years? Or conversely, if a man does not propose within 2 years then is it reasonable to assume that he is just not that into her?
How old are the people in question? If you are in your late 20's, early 30's - I think 2 years is reasonable. Honestly, if someone wants to get married and/or have children - and they already know that they have met the right person for them - how long should they be expected to wait around? 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? I'd rather not waste half my life for someone who is just stringing me along. When I met my husband - we both knew fairly quickly that it was right. My ex-fiance dragged his feet about things and I never felt really secure in the relationship. It was really hard for me. With my husband - he knew he wanted to marry me. It was so much easier to feel secure in the relationship. Waiting around for someone to make up their mind about you when you already know what you want is really difficult.
An ultimatum? Forget it, it's over. If you propose now it's tainted and you've shown you can be pushed around; if you don't, either she follows through or she doesn't; if she doesn't she shows she doesn't mean what she says.
I guess the thing is - if someone really wanted to marry the other person - they wouldn't feel backed into a corner. Or rather - they wouldn't wait until they were backed into a corner - right? I have friends that dated their boyfriends/husbands for 10 years before they got married. Some of them were really young when they started dating but some of them were in their mid-late 20's. I know myself and I know that I wouldn't have been alright with that. The guys that I was involved with knew that I wouldn't be alright with that. That's just who I am.
I don't do ultimatums and/or threats. The whole "do this or...."
I will always choose the "or" simply because I'm a ***** like that and they were a dumbass for backing me into a corner and forcing me to make a decision prematurely.
Some people are put off by the mere idea of ultimatums. I completely understand them and would trust that my SO had good reason if I was given one (even if I didn't like it or didn't agree to it in the end).
assume the man is in his late 30s, woman is in her early 30s... would age make a difference?
Given the prevalence of divorce these days is 2 years really enough to make such a life changing decision? Relationships are not a constant... you may feel like you want to marry someone in the 1st year of dating, then something may happen and you may start feeling like you are in doubt in the 2nd year but there may still be reasons in your mind that those feelings of doubt can be extinguished given sufficient time... but obviously there are no guarantees.
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