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I have seen so many cases where a man is kicked to the curb after baby comes in the picture. I can ever recall some articles i read some months on DM about it.
Well. Who knows why these guys wrote such articles
I love my wife more than my children (but she loves THEM more than me)': Breaking one of the great parenting taboos, a father-of-three makes a revealing confession
These are just some mild examples. I have seen this same thing in my own parent's relationship and my friend's. It seems like it is today's norm.
In a world of billions you can find anecdotal evidence to support any position.
I on the other hand do not really see this in ANY family relationship I know of where the man just feels kicked to the curb. I know married couples who have great relationships after kids enter the household. I do know some who have struggled too, but those struggles have nothing to do with "the child stealing the love wife's love."
I do not disagree there are instances where a wife ends up showing more love for a child than a husband, but I would still stay that there are likely to be many other factors involved that are causing problems or a breakdown in the relationship.
If a couple is on the same page and together, having a child should not be a wedge at all.
Of course women love their kids more than their husbands!
A husband is considered a resource (a wage slave) to be used until he ceases to be useful then "discarded" and forced to pay alimony.
Once a man has signed a marriage license he is the property of his wife... a wage slave. The state will bring the full burden of the law to insure this. A woman has no incentive to please a man once he signs a marriage contract.
I will never get married.
Not with those preconceived notions that tell us nothing useful about anyone but you.
In a world of billions you can find anecdotal evidence to support any position.
I on the other hand do not really see this in ANY family relationship I know of where the man just feels kicked to the curb. I know married couples who have great relationships after kids enter the household. I do know some who have struggled too, but those struggles have nothing to do with "the child stealing the love wife's love."
I do not disagree there are instances where a wife ends up showing more love for a child than a husband, but I would still stay that there are likely to be many other factors involved that are causing problems or a breakdown in the relationship.
If a couple is on the same page and together, having a child should not be a wedge at all.
And i have yet to see a woman who cares about her husband like the way she did before having kids and i am damn serious about that.
Women get married and give a vow to love, honor, and cherish (used to be obey), but then something happens to them that completely changes the rules and all guys are blindsided by it, Motherhood. From a woman’s perspective, what changes in a woman’s world when this occurs? Is her husband even a consideration other than as an available ATM(I’ve seen women that go this route, and even had one friend threaten to leave his wife over her complete lack of care for him after childbirth. He’s a great guy BTW)?
Fact is that most women I believe enter into marriage completely intending to honor this vow and then when they have their first child, they believe this vow no longer matters the way it did before
And how much male population does those guys make ?
1 % ?
Not even that.
But that's only homicide. There's also desertion and abandonment, which are not rare either. Several posters here have talked about how their fathers deserted them, and I have witnessed it in my family as well. Men are also more likely to remarry after a divorce or being widowed than women are. I'm not buying the idea that men love more completely or fully, sorry.
A man does not compete. HE just feel Insignificant,Unloved, Lonely ,Unappreciated when his wife kick him to the curb after having kids ( which happen all the time).
It wouldn't happen at all if he took the role of primary caregiver. The men who don't are the ones complaining.
I just know it. Have seen the same thing in my parent's relationship. Mom doting to me too much, ignoring dad, refusing to go for date nights and all that. It created a lot of tension between the two . My dad is way more romantic than my mom.
So. I know how a man's life become after his wife give birth.
Dude, you can't judge the entire human race based solely off of your parents. I hope school teaches you that there is more to life than what you see day to day. Your observations don't prove anything on a global scale. They are your opinions on your parents... and even then you may still be wrong.
But that's only homicide. There's also desertion and abandonment, which are not rare either. Several posters here have talked about how their fathers deserted them, and I have witnessed it in my family as well. Men are also more likely to remarry after a divorce or being widowed than women are. I'm not buying the idea that men love more completely or fully, sorry.
It is natural for the emotional bond between parent and offspring to be stronger than the emotional bond between parent and mate.
All species are driven to perpetuate their own genes. We are, after all, animals. That is descriptive, not derogatory. One's child is therefore more important, generally (there will be certain exceptions), to passing on one's genetic legacy than one's spouse. Given a child (a necessity for the love postulated in your question), the mate is easier replaced at that point than the child.
Of course, we do not think in these stark evolutionary terms. And there will always be exceptions (natural selection and the vagaries of animal behavior and all that) but, in general, human behavior in this regard will track the deeply-ingrained drive to protect our progeny. The establishment of the most intense emotional bond we will ever have with our children is simply derivative of this.
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