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Old 11-04-2013, 12:24 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,959,310 times
Reputation: 6848

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I dunno if people are going to me, but I still think this topic could use some discussion. (Though what do I know, since several people called out the troll thread and I totally missed its trollitude.)

IIUC, the position of several of the relationship-inexperienced here is that this is something it is ok for men to do, but not ok for women to do.

Men might wait for sex if they consider the girl relationship material, and even decide she is not marriage materialif the sex happens too soon, and that is fine -- according to these guys.

But if a woman does the same thing, if she uses the non-marriage-material dude for sex and sees no reason to wai around and get to know him first, but she is willing to suffer and deny herself sex in order to build a connection with a guy she sees as having serious potential... something is wrong with that?

Well, clearly this makes no sense, and is a double standard .

To me, it seems like the idea comes from a desire to cling to a belief that there are two kinds of women, and to force women into these two boxes. Instead of recognising that, just like men, the same woman might do different things in different circumstances.

What do y'all think? Do I totally misunderstand? If you had one standard for men and women, what would it be?
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Old 11-04-2013, 12:35 PM
 
3,670 posts, read 7,136,835 times
Reputation: 4269
if i was serious about a guy i wouldnt want to sleep with him right away because i wouldnt want it to cloud my judgement
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Old 11-04-2013, 12:44 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,565,885 times
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People, that's men and women, don't like to be treated differently, easpecially if it involves giving someone else other than them better treatment.
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Old 11-04-2013, 01:12 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,959,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
People, that's men and women, don't like to be treated differently, easpecially if it involves giving someone else other than them better treatment.
Interesting point.

So you are saying it's a case of two double standards? People you f*ck and people you don't, vs different standards for men and women? And that the solution is that men and women should both be prevented from having sex sooner in casual situations than they do with their marriage-material?
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Old 11-04-2013, 01:49 PM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,878,619 times
Reputation: 15255
You're right....

But, I'm smacking my own head a couple times.

There was a thread on here where the gal was having sex with guy #2 jock while holding back with sex on marriage material guy #1.


Zzzzzz
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Old 11-04-2013, 02:00 PM
 
5,730 posts, read 10,089,600 times
Reputation: 8051
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
I dunno if people are going to me, but I still think this topic could use some discussion. (Though what do I know, since several people called out the troll thread and I totally missed its trollitude.)

IIUC, the position of several of the relationship-inexperienced here is that this is something it is ok for men to do, but not ok for women to do.

Men might wait for sex if they consider the girl relationship material, and even decide she is not marriage materialif the sex happens too soon, and that is fine -- according to these guys.

But if a woman does the same thing, if she uses the non-marriage-material dude for sex and sees no reason to wai around and get to know him first, but she is willing to suffer and deny herself sex in order to build a connection with a guy she sees as having serious potential... something is wrong with that?

Well, clearly this makes no sense, and is a double standard .

To me, it seems like the idea comes from a desire to cling to a belief that there are two kinds of women, and to force women into these two boxes. Instead of recognising that, just like men, the same woman might do different things in different circumstances.

What do y'all think? Do I totally misunderstand? If you had one standard for men and women, what would it be?
I believe this part of the theory is incorrect. Invalidating the whole.
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Old 11-04-2013, 02:15 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,728,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Themanwithnoname View Post
I believe this part of the theory is incorrect. Invalidating the whole.

Yup
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Old 11-04-2013, 02:21 PM
 
5,347 posts, read 7,171,925 times
Reputation: 7158
The thing is, once young men realized(well not all but ones who are successful) women give sex NSA and early to guys who are seen as "non relationship material" it lessened the incentive for men to be perceived as well....relationship material.
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Old 11-04-2013, 03:13 PM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,705,916 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BradPiff View Post
The thing is, once young men realized(well not all but ones who are successful) women give sex NSA and early to guys who are seen as "non relationship material" it lessened the incentive for men to be perceived as well....relationship material.
This.

Only problem is girls are pretty much like guys about this: they would prefer to be with a man who doesn't do a lot of sleeping around. Healthier and safer. So what does the guy do when he gets tired of sex NSA and wants a woman who is relationshp material? It's not like that day will never come, you know.
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Old 11-04-2013, 03:23 PM
 
4,699 posts, read 4,042,409 times
Reputation: 2483
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
IIUC, the position of several of the relationship-inexperienced here is that this is something it is ok for men to do, but not ok for women to do.

Men might wait for sex if they consider the girl relationship material, and even decide she is not marriage materialif the sex happens too soon, and that is fine -- according to these guys.

But if a woman does the same thing, if she uses the non-marriage-material dude for sex and sees no reason to wai around and get to know him first, but she is willing to suffer and deny herself sex in order to build a connection with a guy she sees as having serious potential... something is wrong with that?

Well, clearly this makes no sense, and is a double standard .
Except it is normally women who make men wait, and not men who make women wait. Your thread is based on a strawman that men do the exact same thing.

Also, the times users here complained about this. It was not women who had one night stands in the past and then waited 3 dates to have sex with their potential love.

What people complained about was cases when they very recently had sex with one guy and then letting another guy wait for ages because he is relationship material. But it is kind of us guys fault too. We need to stop dating women who does that. The reason they do it, is because we let them do it.
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