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Old 11-23-2007, 05:19 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,883 posts, read 30,181,434 times
Reputation: 19077

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey View Post
I agree

Creme that was a nice quote. Internal peace- its elusive this time of year. I am glad I willl not be running tomorrow to the stores to rack up charges.....what a waste! think if everyone just donated a winter coat to one child, or did something helpful, instead of clawing and scraping at 4 AM for the latest iPod-

So sick of this hype- it seems to be worse here in the US- I spent Xmas in London once, and while people were shopping, they also exchange fruit, things of goodwill- that is missing in our culture here-
Its so good to hear, someone else thinks and feels like I do...
A lot of very wise women here

I made a statement about society...and asking permission for happiness....we do this without realizing it.

People oft times have said that there must be something wrong with you if you enjoy being alone, so they give it a name and call it a mental disease...or a social disorder....

I never had to depend on anyone but me growing up....as my paternal mother really didn't like me very much...and was never home...as she worked two jobs to keep food on the table. Yes, she was very dysfunctional, and unfortunately had a lot of bad turns in her life...to this day, although I visit her on holidays and maybe 3 - 4 times a year, she is difficult to be around, although I feel awful sorry for her....

Anyway...I was used to being alone...and the woman across the street who I called mom, took me in when I was 5 years old and treated me like one of her family....well, she was a very strong individual and very self reliant....she spackeled, painted, and other things women didn't normally do...but can do...and I suppose that is what also helped me be self reliant.

I do enjoy time spent with others, but the longer I'm alone, and the older I become, the more I enjoy being alone and want to be. I have never been defined by those around me, and I think that is the entire key to getting married. I dunno, I suppose you could say that I am so enjoying the beauty of my own existence and it's benefits...

Sitting in the quiet has become a luxury...ever since I traveled to the Bahamas alone...I've learned to actually crave it, and noise really does hurt my ears....also, communicating and listening to God, is to me, listening to the sound of your own inner voice, and nature....it is so confounded spiritual...and if you don't believe me, plan something really special for you....go away somewhere for a week or even 2 or 3 days. Rent a beach house....and find out what I'm talking about...it is simply romantic, stunning, and most assuridly rewarding....you don't have to worry about ignoring anyone or pleaseing anyone, and for the firt time in my life, I felt absolutely free....it is really stimulating.

It is a time for me to reflect on the future, to assure myself that I am on the right track, without asking for appoval from others...most of the time, if you do ask, no one will really understand. Mostly, if your an individual who is comfortable in your own skin, people fear you...b/c you don't buy into the political part of your career, not to mention, neighborhood chatter...you actually develop a disposition of someone who is not only confident, but who wants to be left alone. People are intimidated by that, and sometimes label you as antisocial...someone who distances yourself from the rest of the team....etc...let them think what they may...not to mention, you'll start to realize, how so many people stagnate themselves by not being open minded...not to mention, who really really fear change. And you also begin to realize our society's culture really hasn't progressed all t hat much from the 1800's in their beliefs...Beliefs, morals, personal culture, is most definately passed down by our parents, and their parents, who dictated to them, their ideas, of what happy is.

Think about it.

Hugs
Creme

Last edited by cremebrulee; 11-23-2007 at 06:06 AM..
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Old 11-23-2007, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,496 posts, read 26,553,374 times
Reputation: 8966
I enjoy being alone and want to be. I have never been defined by those around me, and I think that is the entire key to getting married. I dunno, I suppose you could say that I am so enjoying the beauty of my own existence and it's benefits[quote]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
very well said. Just being around people for that superficial sake is NOT a relationship. If I wanted to be phony I could pretend (i.e. in-laws, etc.) but to stay in an unhappy marriage is not what I call success in life.

You are self-actualized, creme,, renting a beach-house alone- more poeple should thinkl like that. Anorther poster wrote about the people shopping today, in a frenzy- then 4 weeks later all the junk gets packed, stored or re-gifted. I am just glad I am not dealing with this this year.
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Old 11-23-2007, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,883 posts, read 30,181,434 times
Reputation: 19077
[quote=dreamofmonterey;2070285]I enjoy being alone and want to be. I have never been defined by those around me, and I think that is the entire key to getting married. I dunno, I suppose you could say that I am so enjoying the beauty of my own existence and it's benefits
Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
very well said. Just being around people for that superficial sake is NOT a relationship. If I wanted to be phony I could pretend (i.e. in-laws, etc.) but to stay in an unhappy marriage is not what I call success in life.

You are self-actualized, creme,, renting a beach-house alone- more poeple should thinkl like that. Anorther poster wrote about the people shopping today, in a frenzy- then 4 weeks later all the junk gets packed, stored or re-gifted. I am just glad I am not dealing with this this year.
Me to, I stopped shopping a few years back and started giving money. First it's easy...second you don't commercialize any one vendor out there, third, the person I give to, can then purchase what they want or use it towards something they've been wanting and 3rd, I hate shopping and cannot fathom someone actually wanting to be out there today, shopping? I loose patience real fast with rude and pushy people and hate crowds and gridlock and mothers with children who are screaming and running around the stores.

(sigh) guess I'm getting to be an ol antisocial fuddy...lol not care...and I'm less afraid to voice my opinions anymore either...have you noticed that to? My goodness, years ago, why I would never voice what I say now...and I actually love being quit vocal....and I am not the kind of friend who is going to tell you what you want to hear....if you don't want to hear the truth, then don't ask me....lol..one woman at work asked me who I felt about something she did....and I told her, "I believe you obsess to the point where you become frantic and overly concerned, and if I were you, I'd seek out counseling for it". Remember, she asked...well, boy oh boy, was she angry....??????? She asked? So now when people do that, I say "do you want to hear the truth of what I think and observe, or do you want me to simply tell you your right?" And if they want me to just agree with them, I change the subject or tell them, I refuse to take this topic any further...because all they are doing is seeking permission for their actions, and if they were doing what they felt was right, they wouldn't be asking in the first place....right?
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Old 11-23-2007, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,496 posts, read 26,553,374 times
Reputation: 8966
lol- Yep- years ago I worried what everyone else thinks- when you are 20- 25 maybe that matters. The bottom line is we make our own life- I remember being at the mall every weekend with friends- it was the thing to do-lol-

Now I have a 2 car garage filled with junk- so I no longer shop unless I absolutely have to . When you start doing your own things, you learn how varied life is, and I think that causes a person to grow, spriritually, emotionally whatever. Just my thoughts.
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Old 11-23-2007, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,883 posts, read 30,181,434 times
Reputation: 19077
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey View Post
lol- Yep- years ago I worried what everyone else thinks- when you are 20- 25 maybe that matters. The bottom line is we make our own life- I remember being at the mall every weekend with friends- it was the thing to do-lol-

Now I have a 2 car garage filled with junk- so I no longer shop unless I absolutely have to . When you start doing your own things, you learn how varied life is, and I think that causes a person to grow, spriritually, emotionally whatever. Just my thoughts.

LOL....AMEN!
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Old 11-24-2007, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,496 posts, read 26,553,374 times
Reputation: 8966
hey to someone nice here who repped me-lol- I have been off CD this summer (stalked by a troll) but thanks to the superior Mods on this site, all is well - I have returned- still in NE Tenn but dreaming of Cali!!!!!!!!!


sunny/dream
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Old 11-24-2007, 08:20 PM
 
9 posts, read 47,983 times
Reputation: 29
This Thanksgiving, I slept until naturally woke up. I bought something to decorate my room, went to a place that I have never been and try a restaurant by myself.

Last edited by acupoftea; 11-24-2007 at 08:31 PM..
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Old 11-24-2007, 08:50 PM
 
9 posts, read 47,983 times
Reputation: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Its so good to hear, someone else thinks and feels like I do...
A lot of very wise women here

I made a statement about society...and asking permission for happiness....we do this without realizing it.

People oft times have said that there must be something wrong with you if you enjoy being alone, so they give it a name and call it a mental disease...or a social disorder....

I never had to depend on anyone but me growing up....as my paternal mother really didn't like me very much...and was never home...as she worked two jobs to keep food on the table. Yes, she was very dysfunctional, and unfortunately had a lot of bad turns in her life...to this day, although I visit her on holidays and maybe 3 - 4 times a year, she is difficult to be around, although I feel awful sorry for her....

Anyway...I was used to being alone...and the woman across the street who I called mom, took me in when I was 5 years old and treated me like one of her family....well, she was a very strong individual and very self reliant....she spackeled, painted, and other things women didn't normally do...but can do...and I suppose that is what also helped me be self reliant.

I do enjoy time spent with others, but the longer I'm alone, and the older I become, the more I enjoy being alone and want to be. I have never been defined by those around me, and I think that is the entire key to getting married. I dunno, I suppose you could say that I am so enjoying the beauty of my own existence and it's benefits...

Sitting in the quiet has become a luxury...ever since I traveled to the Bahamas alone...I've learned to actually crave it, and noise really does hurt my ears....also, communicating and listening to God, is to me, listening to the sound of your own inner voice, and nature....it is so confounded spiritual...and if you don't believe me, plan something really special for you....go away somewhere for a week or even 2 or 3 days. Rent a beach house....and find out what I'm talking about...it is simply romantic, stunning, and most assuridly rewarding....you don't have to worry about ignoring anyone or pleaseing anyone, and for the firt time in my life, I felt absolutely free....it is really stimulating.

It is a time for me to reflect on the future, to assure myself that I am on the right track, without asking for appoval from others...most of the time, if you do ask, no one will really understand. Mostly, if your an individual who is comfortable in your own skin, people fear you...b/c you don't buy into the political part of your career, not to mention, neighborhood chatter...you actually develop a disposition of someone who is not only confident, but who wants to be left alone. People are intimidated by that, and sometimes label you as antisocial...someone who distances yourself from the rest of the team....etc...let them think what they may...not to mention, you'll start to realize, how so many people stagnate themselves by not being open minded...not to mention, who really really fear change. And you also begin to realize our society's culture really hasn't progressed all t hat much from the 1800's in their beliefs...Beliefs, morals, personal culture, is most definately passed down by our parents, and their parents, who dictated to them, their ideas, of what happy is.

Think about it.

Hugs
Creme
right. I hate some people always assume we should like to have kids just as them.
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