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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TurcoLoco
That happened to me a lot and still does. Heck, I got approached by gay men more times than I'd like to share. Initially it creeped me out and even depressed me a bit but later on, I got used to it. It is what it is, I suppose it is slightly better than not getting hit on by anyone?
Of course it is. Being hit on by a gay man is no different than being hit on by a woman I'm not attracted to. It is a compliment and to be taken as such.
Well, I can't give you a number because I can't see how confidently you carry yourself so that must count for something. Plus I'm super old. If I were 25 I would find you totally cute. But you would have probably never given me a glance. I was pretty shy.
I think it has more to do with personality. I could NEVER approach a total stranger and hit on him. I can't think of any time in my whole life when that happened to me. But if I'm working with someone or getting to know him in a group setting, I'm comfortable talking one on one and eventually flirting. I consider myself to be hopelessly average, but there are definitely times when I'm feeling more confident than others and it shows in my behavior.
BTW, there was a study once that proved that men find women more attractive when they are ovulating then at any other time in their cycle, just from looking at pictures of strangers.
So don't be so quick to assign a number, because it can change daily.
I've really been avoiding this because this statement is probably going to **** some people off but this is just who I am and I can't change it even if I wanted to. I do not find the average woman very attractive, I'm not gay or something, I just do not want to be touching or be intimate with a person who is not attractive. I just have no desire for that. I've tried it and i'm just not very happy. I do not know how else to describe it. Your average girl that doesn't have much figure is just not physically appealing and I don't see why I should be with someone like that if I don't want to.
They can be the nicest person in the world and I can really "love" them as a person but if I can't get past how they look its not going to work.
Hey, it is what it is. However, what may be average to you may be hot to someone else. I'm saying, go for what you want.
Definitely do not settle for someone you don't want to be with. Also, beware of falling for someone just because other people say she is "hot" or "good", you'd do yourself disservice as well.
Go for what you want, because it is not that likely to come to you.
Thank God I didn't approach dating like this in my 20s. I approached women I thought were cool, cute, and I had fun hanging out with and talking to. That simple. I never, ever ever ever thought about leagues.
Sadly, I had the OP's mindset too. It really isn't all that common, except online. I thought about "leagues." Guess what, I never knew what "league" I am in. I don't know what "league" I am in now.
Thank God I didn't approach dating like this in my 20s. I approached women I thought were cool, cute, and I had fun hanging out with and talking to. That simple. I never, ever ever ever thought about leagues.
I didn't in my 20s either.
Once you get rejected enough times, you'll start to think about it. That's how it comes about. Not vice versa.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99
I didn't in my 20s either.
Once you get rejected enough times, you'll start to think about it. That's how it comes about. Not vice versa.
If you're like that, I guess. I got rejected a ton in my 20s. A TON. It sucked. Still happens some, but less. Still don't think about leagues. If I got that into my head I'm sure I wouldn't have dated some of the people I did. That would suck much more than being rejected.
I'll say this. I don't have a problem going for the attractive women but I'd like to at least think I have a shot with them before I go up to them. Otherwise I know I'm going to get rejected. If I don't think I can have them there is no way they are going to be interested in me as I'll look like I'm scared of them or something.
This whole thing has turned into a mess.
I feel like what I got from the beginning though was probably the most useful. If average chicks are approaching a guy who does absolutely nothing out of the ordinary around them the guy is probably fairly attractive.
I see where you are coming from. Unfortunately, the "number scale" is not going to give any indication of your shot with women.
Do yourself a favor. If you haven't yet, go out and observe every couple. You'd be surprised at what you see. Also, interact, you will eventually get a sense of who will be around you and who will reject you. Otherwise, develop a genuine interest in people so that you will have less anxiety of talking to women.
The exceptions are if a man is a 9 or 10. Then, EVERY woman will approach.
Or if a guy is below average, then NO woman will approach. A woman who is a 2 does not want a man who is a 4 because nobody wants a 4, they all think they can do better.
But if a guy is a 7, then 4s and 5s will approach.
not true. if a guy is a 9 or 10 he still has to approach all but 5 and below. no 7-10 woman is going to approach a 9 or 10 guy.
I'm a man but I'd imagine this question goes both ways. I tend to get hit on by unattractive women quite often. I wouldn't say it never happens but I rarely have nice looking women approaching or being flirty with me. To some extent its not the norm for good looking women to approch men and I understand that.
The flip side of this is that its common for less desirable women (for whatever reason there may be) to complain about only being approached by guys they don't want. The consensus I've heard is that's all they're going to get until something changes and they need to readjust their standards. I'm wondering what people think of this and if you think it's the same for men.
To be honest the women I've dated in the past weren't really that great and I just kind of went with it because they were really into me and it just kind of became a thing. I've been pretty lazy in the dating game and I'm questioning how "appealing" I am before I really start trying.
i would say that women are very unpredictable in terms of signaling interest. there is a great deal of variation from person to person.
i would also say that questioning whether you're appealing before you start trying is inherently unattractive. you're better off irrationally confident than you are rationally doubting yourself.
If you're like that, I guess. I got rejected a ton in my 20s. A TON. It sucked. Still happens some, but less. Still don't think about leagues. If I got that into my head I'm sure I wouldn't have dated some of the people I did. That would suck much more than being rejected.
No, that describes me too. You do think about it without thinking about it. Everybody does. Some more detailed than others, but still.
When you say what you're attracted to and what you are not, you are basically laying out your preferences. If everybody had different preferences, then there's no such thing as league. If that were the case, NOBODY would ever be complaining. It's not true. Preferences overlap.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wht2do
not true. if a guy is a 9 or 10 he still has to approach all but 5 and below. no 7-10 woman is going to approach a 9 or 10 guy.
What are you crazy?
Women hit on men all the time. I have friends who are 8-9 and they get hit on. The guys who are 9s get sweated and have some crazy stories of stuff women have pulled. And yes, I've seen it.
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