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nooooooo!!!!!!!!!! I just don't see how that is at all relevant. Even if we're talking about evolution here and using that to justify what people want in a partner that's not a good argument for saying girls don't care about looks. They probably care less and they care about different things and are maybe even more open to more looks but even then they do care about the physical person.
I'm a man but I'd imagine this question goes both ways. I tend to get hit on by unattractive women quite often. I wouldn't say it never happens but I rarely have nice looking women approaching or being flirty with me. To some extent its not the norm for good looking women to approch men and I understand that.
The flip side of this is that its common for less desirable women (for whatever reason there may be) to complain about only being approached by guys they don't want. The consensus I've heard is that's all they're going to get until something changes and they need to readjust their standards. I'm wondering what people think of this and if you think it's the same for men.
To be honest the women I've dated in the past weren't really that great and I just kind of went with it because they were really into me and it just kind of became a thing. I've been pretty lazy in the dating game and I'm questioning how "appealing" I am before I really start trying.
Interesting. I'm more often approached by women I am extremely attracted to. I'm very rarely approached by women who I am in no way attracted to or would I be attracted to in a million years. Those usually avoid me like the plague and if they deal with me, are often as hostile and cruel as can be.
Usually, the lowest I attract are women that I am not all that attracted to, but can find something I like about her.
Anyway, here's the thing about life. If you want something, you have to go for it. If you sit around and wait, you might get something, but it is not all that likely to be what you want.
And yes, just because you go for something doesn't mean you will get it. However, your chances do improve just a bit for the fact that you actually went out there.
As long as you fix the aspects of this that are under your control, you will do fine with women .
Women care about looks as much as men care about the shape of a woman's ears. As long as they are within normal range, you don't even notice, right? Freaky, deformed ears might be an issue -- she should get those fixed. You might notice exceptionally beautiful ears, but they will not be the reason you choose to date her. That's how women are with men's appearance.
Things you mentioned that you can fix:
Insecurity: All adult humans benifit from counseling, including you. Get some. Avoid PUA websites, as they will undermine you.
Bad smell: Take a shower. Wash your clothes. Get some deodorant.
Bad posture: This will change after you go to counseling. Posture reflects your insecurity.
Short and ugly: Women don't care, as long as you are happy and relaxed and consider women taller than you marriage material, not exotic ONSs.
Obsession with women's looks: This is a major turnoff, especially for beautiful women. A woman wants to be sure you will still love her if having your baby makes her fat, or if she gets in a car crash next week. Counseling will help with this, too.
I almost agree with most of what you say, with the exception of avoiding the PUA sites. They have a long proven track record of improving guys chances with the opposite sex. For some, its all they need. The rest is pretty much spot on. Just be your best self and work with what you've got. You don't need the most expansive designer clothes to be considered by women, but wearing clean, well pressed clothes that are congruent with your personality, is pretty much all you'll ever need.
It may end poorly a few times, but then one time it ensds well for you, youre waking up to a perfect 10 cooking you breakfast. Not too shabby.
When you approach only the most attractive of women, in any environment, you communicate your high self worth and high level of confidence. Not only is this attractive to the most beautiful women you choose to approach, but also to all the 6 and 7s that are observing your behavior. When rejected by a 9 or a 10, your chances with a 6 or a 7 who is nearby are now substantially higher than they were before you approached in the first place. It isn't exactly rocket science.
Sounds rather counteractive. I'm not saying I'm going to avoid attractive women or something. I'd just like to have an idea of where I "rank" so I know what to expect and maybe what things I can play to my advantage. Its really not that complicated of a concept in my opinion.
nooooooo!!!!!!!!!! I just don't see how that is at all relevant. Even if we're talking about evolution here and using that to justify what people want in a partner that's not a good argument for saying girls don't care about looks. They probably care less and they care about different things and are maybe even more open to more looks but even then they do care about the physical person.
I don't think anyone is saying anything different. Of course looks matter to women, simply not as much. Failing with women and blaming it on something you have no control over, is an easy way out however.
...aaaannddd that's going to end poorly. Still might try it but I want to know what to expect here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Based on evolutionary theory, which I subscribe to, men select women based on their physical looks, because beauty and youth are subconsciously equated with fertility. This is the very same reason that mans looks simply aren't as important. What is important however, is that the man can be a provider and protector for possible new family unit. Women are attracter to mans behavior more so than his looks. If men could give birth, chances are our looks would be just as important.
I agree with a bit of both of you.
A guy who is a 7 is in a pretty good spot. You're kind of the darkhorse to start the season. If you can have a good career and make some good $, then you can elevate yourself to a pretty good spot. The women who are 7s now have a choice. They can choose a guy who is a 9 who does OK, or they can pick you. You are still pretty good looking but you provide way more security and $ than the other guy.
Now, when you are in your 30s, and the better male options start disappearing, your chances only get better. Not to mention the women 'below' you who will also want you, but you don't want them I guess.
Compare this to a guy who is a 4 who has $. He still has no chance.
Sounds rather counteractive. I'm not saying I'm going to avoid attractive women or something. I'd just like to have an idea of where I "rank" so I know what to expect and maybe what things I can play to my advantage. Its really not that complicated of a concept in my opinion.
You mean counter-intuitive? If you want to know where you rank, why don't you post your pic and let the female posters give you some feedback? BTW, ranks really do not exist, nor do the leagues. Its all ina frame of mind. The reason I used the ranking numbers is so its a quick way to illustrate a point to an audience who truly believes in ranks and leagues. Just wanted to make that clear.
I don't think anyone is saying anything different. Of course looks matter to women, simply not as much. Failing with women and blaming it on something you have no control over, is an easy way out however.
True, I'm just trying to figure out if me being who I am is reasonably attractive based on the results I've had. That includes the way I dress, how I walk, the things I say, and generally how I interact with people. I mean if me being approached by average looking women means I'm attractive that's a confidence boost and I can use that to my advantage. If being approached by average women means I'm just average, that's fine too, but I'd like to know that.
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I'm more often approached by women I am extremely attracted to. I'm very rarely approached by women who I am in no way attracted to or would I be attracted to in a million years. Those usually avoid me like the plague and if they deal with me, are often as hostile and cruel as can be. 
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