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Old 11-12-2013, 10:48 PM
 
3,963 posts, read 5,694,681 times
Reputation: 3711

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Bear in mind that they're not necessarily "issues" that need to be "fixed." They are usually just different desires. Like wanting a family, say. You won't "fix" that in somebody who wants kids. Chalk it up to different wants. Why does somebody have to be right and wrong in this scenario? And, really, THEIR time is too precious to be wasted spending time with somebody who wants different things than they want, too. Right?
Quit being sensitive. You obviously took offense to it.
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Old 11-12-2013, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,080 posts, read 20,470,374 times
Reputation: 10343
Quote:
Originally Posted by AT-AT28 View Post
...

Thoughts would be appreciated. And no, don't bother wasting internet bandwith trying to change/alter my mind, it won't work.
I think if you brought it up you would seem (to her) presumptive that you would think she considered you to be worthy mating material. In other words, you risk putting the cart before the horse or answering a question not asked.

Therefore, I think you should wait until she brings it up and then tell her what you think.

[and let the chips fall where they may]
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Old 11-13-2013, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Ohio
38 posts, read 43,119 times
Reputation: 101
As a non-breeder, I let it out of the gate fairly soon. I see no point in dating someone who wishes to have kids or has kids. Honestly, in most cases I would hope that in the course of conversation leading up to an actual date that my views his would be already established. Blind dates aren't my thing, and I like to have some basic conversations before going out on an official "date". Of course, I am the kind of person who, upon meeting someone, wants to know immediately their stance on religion and politics and what they think about morality. Meeting someone and just talking about music and the weather would bore me to tears, because intellectual compatibility ranks highly on my list. Anyone who is around me for any length of time knows I am a non-breeder, the only thing I may hide until later on is the reasoning behind my decision.
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Old 11-13-2013, 02:56 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,279 posts, read 4,743,396 times
Reputation: 4026
I bring it up very early - it's clear in online profiles, and I also ensure it's clear during the first date.

I've found I have to really emphasize it, because some guys who want kids hear me say "I am child free and will never have kids" and think I mean "I don't have any kids, but once I meet the right man...."
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Old 11-13-2013, 03:09 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 8,031,564 times
Reputation: 4361
Google "childfree message boards." You'll find a number that range from renegade to wishy-washy so be prepared. You'll likely find more people who have been down this road and can relate their experiences. They can tell you what you'll likely expect to hear if you reveal your orientation on the first date or the fifth.
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Old 11-13-2013, 03:22 PM
 
Location: MD
253 posts, read 654,985 times
Reputation: 377
Just be sure to put it on your online profile. But do realize this also causes some folks to either a) lie about the fact they are ok with being childfree or b) email/text you to say how horrible you are to not want children, but why don't you date me and look at my adorable kids!! Why YES, that has happened to me. Just be honest, and you'll meet the right person with the same preference.
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Old 11-13-2013, 03:40 PM
 
3,009 posts, read 3,642,202 times
Reputation: 2376
I do not trust woman that hate kids or are mean to them for no reason same goes for animals. Not wanting kids is ok if it is your thing and does not mean they hate Kids.
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Old 11-13-2013, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Ohio
38 posts, read 43,119 times
Reputation: 101
Krieger,

Not wanting and hating are indeed two separate things. Now, I don't like them in the sense of "I'd rather not be around them" and "No, I don't want to hold your baby" and I won't babysit and I hate people who constantly go on and on about their precious bundles of joy...ugh. BUT, I do not hate them as in think that they are less than human or worthy of contempt. I see them more like foreigners who speak another language from a country I never want to visit! lol But many people assume because I do not want children that I hate them. That is just not true, I have no disrespect for kids themselves, they are just like the rest of us...just younger and less articulate and more apt to poop or scream at inappropriate times.
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Old 11-13-2013, 03:53 PM
 
3,009 posts, read 3,642,202 times
Reputation: 2376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swaggertoes View Post
Krieger,

Not wanting and hating are indeed two separate things. Now, I don't like them in the sense of "I'd rather not be around them" and "No, I don't want to hold your baby" and I won't babysit and I hate people who constantly go on and on about their precious bundles of joy...ugh. BUT, I do not hate them as in think that they are less than human or worthy of contempt. I see them more like foreigners who speak another language from a country I never want to visit! lol But many people assume because I do not want children that I hate them. That is just not true, I have no disrespect for kids themselves, they are just like the rest of us...just younger and less articulate and more apt to poop or scream at inappropriate times.
That is why I said not wanting kids is ok but it not cool to be a mean and abusive towards them. I do not care what people do but if your going to have kids you better only have as many kids as you could afford to have.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:05 AM
 
Location: Australia
1,057 posts, read 1,691,134 times
Reputation: 1709
ASAP. Why waste time?
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