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I will probably buy a place before marrying, if I ever marry. This is so I am comfortable in knowing that if things go downhill, I will still be able to have a place to live.
I can only answer from what I have seen - My father kept his and his wife rented hers out, eventually getting rid of it later on. My ex and I started fresh with a new apartment together since I had been sharing an apartment with a roommate. My former sister in law - her then boyfriend bought his house (that she helped pick out), and she moved in after the wedding. I have seen full spectrum depending on the age group.
I tried to buy a house but did not want to drive 2 hours one way to work and another 2 hours home . I just did not have 20% down or have a job that paid well enough. I how ever have good credit so that good. Once school is over and get a real job I will be all right. The house I wanted was 5 bedrooms 3.5 baths and 2500 square footage. Some say it is to much house for one person .
Stagemomma brought this up in another thread, and I realised I really want to hear about how people have dealt with it.
If you and your partner both owned houses or apartments when you got together, what did you do? Or what if one of you owned a place that the other did not like?
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Me, I am surprised at the number of guys in their 30s or 20s who think they should get a place first and then a partner. Isn't she going to want an equal say in what house they buy?
OTOH, one of the things I find much easier about dating after 40 is that pretty much everyone has a place, and this makes living together much more fluid and flexible for experimentation, early on. Nobody has to give up their lease. But eventually, the two want to settle on one place, and how does that work? Do you redecorate? Sell both places and buy another?
When my gf and I met she lived with her family and me in a house. She stayed over every night. Then I moved to an apartment, moved again, another apartment, and now we (I) bought what we're living in. She was very happy to have our own new place..
If I owned a house and got married there would be several options. That wouod depend on the other.
If I owned a perfectly fine house and she was renting she would need a strong argument to move or be able to help with the down payment.
If her only argument was to "have our own new place" with no other justifiable reason then thats fine if she's willing to help take on the new down payment, mortgage, etc.
If she's a successful business professional willing to contribute that's one thing. If she's making 1/10th what I am then she probably will not have 50% of the say regarding huge purchases like thay.
I consult my gf for virtually all my purchases and she has a lot of say. If we were married I do not think it automatically means my income is 50% hers and she makes the decisions.
Luckily we never disagree about any of that so my post is simoly hypothetical if I dated someone who felt entitled to make financial decisions with my money.
Me, I am surprised at the number of guys in their 30s or 20s who think they should get a place first and then a partner. Isn't she going to want an equal say in what house they buy?
I don't know why that is surprising. I think you should get your own house first before anything else. It's one of my life goals - get my own house, no one else involved.
I tried to buy a house but did not want to drive 2 hours one way to work and another 2 hours home . I just did not have 20% down or have a job that paid well enough. I how ever have good credit so that good. Once school is over and get a real job I will be all right. The house I wanted was 5 bedrooms 3.5 baths and 2500 square footage. Some say it is to much house for one person .
It is!! Your new hobby will then be cleaning and working overtime to heat/cool the place.
My house is 1,400 sqft and is almost a bit too big for one person. Seems like I am always cleaning.
I tried to buy a house but did not want to drive 2 hours one way to work and another 2 hours home . I just did not have 20% down or have a job that paid well enough. I how ever have good credit so that good. Once school is over and get a real job I will be all right. The house I wanted was 5 bedrooms 3.5 baths and 2500 square footage. Some say it is to much house for one person .
I agree with the other poster. That's a lot of space for a single person. I wouldn't want to clean/maintain that house or heat/cool it either. I'd also not be interested in furnishing a house like that.
Stagemomma brought this up in another thread, and I realised I really want to hear about how people have dealt with it.
If you and your partner both owned houses or apartments when you got together, what did you do? Or what if one of you owned a place that the other did not like?
--
Me, I am surprised at the number of guys in their 30s or 20s who think they should get a place first and then a partner. Isn't she going to want an equal say in what house they buy?
OTOH, one of the things I find much easier about dating after 40 is that pretty much everyone has a place, and this makes living together much more fluid and flexible for experimentation, early on. Nobody has to give up their lease. But eventually, the two want to settle on one place, and how does that work? Do you redecorate? Sell both places and buy another?
Lol right up my alley. I had my place my wife had hers. When we met and eventually got married we bought a house together but we kept our respective places and rented them out. At the time it made sense to get the extra cash flow. We both thought/talked about selling one or the other or both but decided to hang on to them as investments. Still own them to this day as rentals.
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