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Old 11-18-2013, 05:54 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 10,001,571 times
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I can't imagine being desperate about finding a partner. I agree that people who feel like that have bigger problems that have nothing to do with their love life.

As for your actual question, how to find women who are into the sort of backwoods life you are, don't worry, there are lots of them!

If you are on a site like okcupid, that allows you to search by keywords, in addition to looking for hiking, camping, etc., try the traditional female skills of self-sufficiency, like canning, preserving, sewing, gardening, homeschooling, etc.
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Old 11-18-2013, 09:39 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,899,888 times
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Yes some are desperate but some aren't. It depends on many things.
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Old 11-19-2013, 08:48 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,113,976 times
Reputation: 11797
It's almost 2014. Get with the times - online dating is a normal and perfectly acceptable way to meet dates these days. Sure, there are some desperate people online, but there are desperate people in bars, restaurants, clubs, and everywhere else too.
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Old 11-19-2013, 08:57 AM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,666,435 times
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It's an equal mix of desperate and non-desperate men and woman.
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Old 11-19-2013, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Des Moines IA
1,883 posts, read 2,522,886 times
Reputation: 3408
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
It's almost 2014. Get with the times - online dating is a normal and perfectly acceptable way to meet dates these days. Sure, there are some desperate people online, but there are desperate people in bars, restaurants, clubs, and everywhere else too.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Just like these message boards are a vehicle for people to communicate with others, instead of meeting at a bar, or other venue to discuss things, online dating is just another way to meet people. The same type of people you would run into online are the exact same people you run into offline.
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Old 11-19-2013, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 764,787 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium View Post
So if you don't date friends of friends, friends of coworkers, then how do you meet dates in real life?

Besides randoms in bars and nightclubs. So your only choice is online then right?
I'm with timberline742 about not dating friends. I wouldn't want to date the people I just naturally became friends with, or their friends for that matter. I'm not even that opposed to it in theory but in reality I'm not attracted to most my female friends and that's why we're good friends. There are exceptions to that but I'm not going to count on that as my primary way to meet people I'm interested in dating. Now I have no problem dating coworkers as long as we don't work so closely I'll see her 8 hours a day every day.

As indicated by my thread about meeting women at the gym I try to meet women in my daily life. At places like coffee shops, stores, the laundromat, I've even met people on the bus. I just approch them differently than I would someone I'd want to be friends with, and they know I'm interested in dating them, I just don't make bro-tastic moves and I tend to avoid bars and clubs.
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Old 11-19-2013, 10:23 AM
 
Location: The Triad
34,100 posts, read 83,032,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freedom125 View Post
Are most people on dating sites desperate?
Pretty much. Some will want to argue about how to define "desperate".
The other 5% are genuinely busy or in backwater locations with limited options.

Quote:
I am a nice, friendly, polite, confident guy.
I'm athletic, reasonably tall and not ugly...
In high school, I won the 'Best Personality' award.
Get out into the world. Do stuff.
Meet others doing similar things.

Quote:
However, there are some things about me that have made dating hard.
I tend to live out in wilderness-y areas with little to no population around.
Ahh... the 5%. Yeah, you'll need to "import".

Start by engaging with people who already have the same interests you do.
"solitude of the wild, exploring, hiking, campfires, reading, things like that."

Not on dating sites... just regular outdoorsy groups. Make some friends. Meet some of them.
Invite some of them to your area. Then get introduced to their cousin/sister/co-worker.
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Old 11-19-2013, 10:31 AM
 
2,758 posts, read 4,961,851 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freedom125 View Post
First off I want to say that I definitely realize on any dating site that there will be both normal, well-adjusted people, and that there will also be desperate, overwhelming people.


I think it would pretty fair to guess that most people visiting and contributing on this forum, who are also on dating sites, would fall into the "normal, well-adjusted" category.

So no offense whatsoever intended to anyone who is on those sites, but I do have a question or two to ask about those websites:


I am a nice, friendly, polite, confident guy. I'm athletic, reasonably tall and not ugly (I'm no supermodel, but I'm certainly not repulsive). In high school, I won the 'Best Personality' award.


In other words, I always assumed I would be the type of guy who would never even consider having to worry about going to an online dating site.


However, there are some things about me that have made dating hard. I tend to live out in wilderness-y areas with little to no population around. I love the solitude of the wild. I've also turned into a bit of an introvert (different than being shy) and I don't enjoy going out to bars or getting drunk. I like exploring, hiking, campfires, reading, things like that. Not partying.


ANYWAY, that's all beside the point. Sorry for the rambling.


What I'm trying to say is, it's just really, really hard to meet people in the situation I'm in. There is little to no social life in my environment, mostly because I live in the middle of freaking nowhere.


I am thinking about taking a look at some dating sites to see what they are like. But what I *don't* want is a bunch of desperate girls to come out of nowhere trying to connect with me just because they are desperate. I don't want to hang out with someone and for them to blindly think we are meant to be together, just because their need to find a significant other is so great that it's all they can focus on.


I would love to find some people with similar interests/personalities just to start hanging out with, and then if it goes anywhere from there, that's great.

Does that make sense? Is that even possible with dating sites, or is it more likely that I will just find a mass of really lonely girls who immediately start thinking about whether a guy they are hanging out with is their soulmate or not?



I know men and women that use OLD to hook up with upwards of 20 people per year.
Those people are the opposite of desperate. They have no problem attracting people to date and they utilize OLD as just another venue to meet people.

OLD is so widespread anymore, you have all types on there. Introverts, extroverts, hotties, not-hot, desperate, high in demand, broke, baller, etc. It is pretty much a decent reflection of society.
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Old 11-19-2013, 11:15 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,622,739 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational View Post
Pretty much. Some will want to argue about how to define "desperate".
I thought the OP was defining "desperate" as someone who wants to move quickly from meeting someone online to being in an exclusive relationship with that person. He thinks in real life, you just happen to meet people and get to know them and then possibly start dating and having a relationship. Based on what he's saying, anyone who looks to meet someone for the sole purpose of getting into a relationship is desperate so I'd think that would apply to people looking to find relationships via bars/clubs, speed dating, activity groups, social networks...you name it. Basically if you're looking to meet people and hoping it might turn into a relationship, you're desperate according to the OP.

My personal definition of being desperate is that you're willing to take anyone or greatly lower your standards just to be with someone. Wanting to make a connection or be in a relationship with a person who meets your qualifications isn't desperation to me.
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Old 11-19-2013, 12:57 PM
 
Location: All Over
4,003 posts, read 6,105,294 times
Reputation: 3163
Quote:
Originally Posted by freedom125 View Post
First off I want to say that I definitely realize on any dating site that there will be both normal, well-adjusted people, and that there will also be desperate, overwhelming people.


I think it would pretty fair to guess that most people visiting and contributing on this forum, who are also on dating sites, would fall into the "normal, well-adjusted" category.

So no offense whatsoever intended to anyone who is on those sites, but I do have a question or two to ask about those websites:


I am a nice, friendly, polite, confident guy. I'm athletic, reasonably tall and not ugly (I'm no supermodel, but I'm certainly not repulsive). In high school, I won the 'Best Personality' award.


In other words, I always assumed I would be the type of guy who would never even consider having to worry about going to an online dating site.


However, there are some things about me that have made dating hard. I tend to live out in wilderness-y areas with little to no population around. I love the solitude of the wild. I've also turned into a bit of an introvert (different than being shy) and I don't enjoy going out to bars or getting drunk. I like exploring, hiking, campfires, reading, things like that. Not partying.


ANYWAY, that's all beside the point. Sorry for the rambling.


What I'm trying to say is, it's just really, really hard to meet people in the situation I'm in. There is little to no social life in my environment, mostly because I live in the middle of freaking nowhere.


I am thinking about taking a look at some dating sites to see what they are like. But what I *don't* want is a bunch of desperate girls to come out of nowhere trying to connect with me just because they are desperate. I don't want to hang out with someone and for them to blindly think we are meant to be together, just because their need to find a significant other is so great that it's all they can focus on.


I would love to find some people with similar interests/personalities just to start hanging out with, and then if it goes anywhere from there, that's great.

Does that make sense? Is that even possible with dating sites, or is it more likely that I will just find a mass of really lonely girls who immediately start thinking about whether a guy they are hanging out with is their soulmate or not?
interesting how your reasons for "considering" going on a dating site are legitimate but everyone else on there is desperate. i dont live in the wilderness in remote areas but i do have afulltime job and run my own company and dont have time to be out at meetups and playing on softball teams and doing other activities where i may meet women.

also i love dating sites in that you kinda get to filter and talk to people before having to spend real life time or money on them
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