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Old 11-19-2013, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Seattle, Washington
2,533 posts, read 4,609,966 times
Reputation: 2821

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I had a 4 year relationship with a woman I met on eHarmony. It ended when I moved to the west coast and she decided to remain in Georgia to be close to her family.

I've always been told I'm an attractive guy... she was what I consider to be smokin' hot (blonde, 5'4, 115 lbs, nice personality with a job) and we had fun together.

Neither of us are desperate... far from it. I went online as a way to meet people outside of a bar.

Since I moved here in 2011 I've probably went on a dozen POF/Match.com dates and nothing became of any of the dates... I wouldn't say any of them were desperate but I would say that they got their free dinner out of the deal.

I haven't been on an online date in 9 months... just not desperate enough.
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Old 11-19-2013, 01:48 PM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,293,909 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kees View Post
I had a 4 year relationship with a woman I met on eHarmony. It ended when I moved to the west coast and she decided to remain in Georgia to be close to her family.

I've always been told I'm an attractive guy... she was what I consider to be smokin' hot (blonde, 5'4, 115 lbs, nice personality with a job) and we had fun together.

Neither of us are desperate... far from it. I went online as a way to meet people outside of a bar.

Since I moved here in 2011 I've probably went on a dozen POF/Match.com dates and nothing became of any of the dates... I wouldn't say any of them were desperate but I would say that they got their free dinner out of the deal.

I haven't been on an online date in 9 months... just not desperate enough.
This is what ended up happening to me too. They were cool with the free dinner, and even were energetic to meeting again, but on down the road they just ended up getting cold feet. Most were just very into focusing on themselves, because they had given too much of themselves to a bad boyfriend or a husband. They weren't bad people by any means, I was just interested in something more serious than themselves. I also ran into people that were always ready to party, but anything that was more one on one, they always had an excuse not to make it. That's ok too. I just realized that the cycle of daters I was dealing with, weren't interested in what I had to offer and vice versa. They wanted super dooper casual, and I didn't.
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Old 11-19-2013, 02:28 PM
 
194 posts, read 636,983 times
Reputation: 192
Quote:
Originally Posted by doodlemagic View Post
interesting how your reasons for "considering" going on a dating site are legitimate but everyone else on there is desperate. i dont live in the wilderness in remote areas but i do have afulltime job and run my own company and dont have time to be out at meetups and playing on softball teams and doing other activities where i may meet women.

also i love dating sites in that you kinda get to filter and talk to people before having to spend real life time or money on them
Ugh, way to try to put words in my mouth there, buddy.

I stated my intentions for thinking about one of these sites, and it's pretty clear why one would expect to encounter plenty of desperate people on dating sites. I was asking, not declaring.

Now go away.
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Old 11-19-2013, 02:32 PM
 
11,864 posts, read 17,027,326 times
Reputation: 20090
I think most people do it because it's popular.

I don't think you have to be desperate, but it doesn't hurt, I guess.

I don't use.it because I meet enough people in everyday life. I'm not big on dating anyways, so there's no reason for me to be there.
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Old 11-20-2013, 07:11 PM
 
4,868 posts, read 8,420,097 times
Reputation: 3161
meh, I was never desperate. Neither was my current boyfriend, who I met online. He's actually the 1st guy I've dated that doesn't need a girlfriend, but that just wants someone when he feels she adds to his life. That's why I date too. Its refreshing to be with someone that is with me for the right reason-he wants to be with me cause he wants me (not the idea of me and/or a relationship) and I, him.

I met some of the most desperate and broken, not ready for relationship types of guys, offline. My experience online has in some ways been better and in some ways been worse than offline. Oh well, its just another way to meet someone.
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Old 12-23-2013, 02:41 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,322 times
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Firstly, everyone using online dating sites are not desperate. According to some recent studies mostly educated and decent people join online dating sites to find partners. besides, it helps you overcome your shyness.
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Old 12-23-2013, 07:52 AM
 
Location: SoCal
148 posts, read 293,238 times
Reputation: 254
In my experience, there were desperate losers on there and a fair number of guys who just couldn't find what they were looking for in real life either because they just haven't encountered the woman they would prefer or because they were way too picky. You should be able to figure out from the messaging who is who most of the time. The woman who has a career and is highly educated and beautiful probably isn't going to be desperate, but just has higher standards and has a hard time meeting people. The woman with four kids who is barely getting by and starts asking you about your financial situation could be a red flag.
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Old 12-23-2013, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,057 posts, read 1,693,992 times
Reputation: 1709
How else would I meet childfree men?
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:55 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,363 posts, read 20,832,475 times
Reputation: 15645
Well OP, with your situation, I think you're starting to realize that other people may have just as good of reasons for OLD as you do. It's not just for old maids and fusty old grumps.
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Old 12-23-2013, 11:07 PM
 
37,718 posts, read 46,149,173 times
Reputation: 57314
Quote:
Originally Posted by freedom125 View Post
First off I want to say that I definitely realize on any dating site that there will be both normal, well-adjusted people, and that there will also be desperate, overwhelming people.I think it would pretty fair to guess that most people visiting and contributing on this forum, who are also on dating sites, would fall into the "normal, well-adjusted" category.

So no offense whatsoever intended to anyone who is on those sites
So then, why use an offensive thread title?



Quote:
Originally Posted by freedom125 View Post
However, there are some things about me that have made dating hard. I tend to live out in wilderness-y areas with little to no population around. I love the solitude of the wild. I've also turned into a bit of an introvert (different than being shy) and I don't enjoy going out to bars or getting drunk. I like exploring, hiking, campfires, reading, things like that. Not partying.

All of that describes my BF. That was exactly why he chose online dating - to further his dating opportunities. And it worked.


Quote:
Originally Posted by freedom125 View Post
I am thinking about taking a look at some dating sites to see what they are like. But what I *don't* want is a bunch of desperate girls to come out of nowhere trying to connect with me just because they are desperate. I don't want to hang out with someone and for them to blindly think we are meant to be together, just because their need to find a significant other is so great that it's all they can focus on.

Are you nuts? Where in the hell would you get such ridiculous notions? You will find nutcases and desperate people, everywhere you go.
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