Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-26-2014, 03:23 AM
 
25 posts, read 27,851 times
Reputation: 17

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joy74 View Post
I think online dating is filled with married men and women who like pretending they are single. It is a cheaters paradise. People are always on the look out for something new and different. It is easy to lie about your marital status on a dating site. I think most people on dating sites are desperate liars. The few who are not are exceptions. This is just my opinion.
Agreed. My ex had joined Zoosk, MeetMe, and Skout while in a relationship with me & had "Single" down for his relationship status.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-26-2014, 08:49 AM
 
1,156 posts, read 2,384,327 times
Reputation: 1435
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joy74 View Post
I think most people on dating sites are desperate liars. The few who are not are exceptions. This is just my opinion.
I'm not sure I would use the word "desperate" in all cases. I think that most people on dating sites are delusional about who they are and what they can expect to find there.

Anaïs Nin wrote, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we." In the case of online daters, I think the more apt quote is, "We don't see ourselves as we are, we see ourselves as we want to be." Everyone puts up the pictures that show themselves in the most flattering light, even if they don't look like that in person. They essentially write ad copy promoting themselves as this human "product" that never fails to disappoint.

When I was on an OLD site, I ran into the profiles of people I knew from real life (including two exes), and they were nothing like they said they were on the profiles. I'm not sure how much of this is due to lack of self-awareness or the intent to deceive, but it is highly misleading. Any down-to-earth person who is honest about who they are who goes into OLD should know that most people on there are pretty much FOS.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-26-2014, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, Az
432 posts, read 492,559 times
Reputation: 531
What does "desperate" even mean? Not like the dictionary definition, just how it applies to dating. Do some people really want to be in a relationship, because I dunno... they like it, Maslow's hierarchy and all that? Yeah. Does that make you desperate? Maybe to people who "Don't need no man", or "Don't need no woman" to complete them or whatever. That's cool, but I don't think that makes those of us desiring a pair bond like most of the species "desperate".

Last edited by variant; 01-26-2014 at 06:27 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2014, 06:39 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
1 posts, read 1,148 times
Reputation: 10
Default No Worries

I don't think people who are into online dating are desperate. In general most of them are looking to take advantage of the opportunities of building relationships through online dating. [Mod cut]

Last edited by ElkHunter; 02-09-2014 at 06:44 PM.. Reason: New users cannot recommend other websites.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-11-2014, 03:25 AM
 
33,016 posts, read 27,519,895 times
Reputation: 9074
A funny thing happened to me today. When I got home from work, there were a bunch of people hanging out in the living room (this part is not unusual). Two housemates and some friends. One of the housemates was on POF and in a fit of curiosity I signed up. Did the profile on the fly, which I expected to do a lousy job.

Once you do that basic setup stuff - I didn't do any of the extra stuff like the chemistry test - the site starts showing you possible matches. Do you want to meet this person? Maybe, maybe, maybe - just wanted a quick peek to get an idea what sort of women were there. (LOTS of retired 50-60 year olds, what's up with that?) Expected it would soon exhaust the available possibilities. Fifteen minutes into it, I have a new message. Five minutes after that another new message.

What the heck? Everything I heard (and read here) led me to expect no incoming messages - I'm the wrong age and the wrong income, and horror of horrors, no photo. I was there to browse, not to send or get messages.

Only thing I can think of is that the two most desperate women within 10 years and 50 miles of me were online at the same time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-24-2015, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Richmond VA
6,886 posts, read 7,917,714 times
Reputation: 18219
OMG, no! I'm normal. not desperate. I could provide references to that effect.

Look at it this way...the woman who will catch your eye will have physical attributes that attract you, but she will also be the kind of person who likes hiking, camping, reading, living in the wilderness, not partying. Where do you think she is going to find a guy like YOU?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2015, 04:19 AM
 
7,654 posts, read 5,133,847 times
Reputation: 5036
That is the difference between people that just "organicly" meet and have sex and have a full life completely through random flukes and those that dont. After your living your life doing all these things that are suppost to lead to meeting "organicly" and having sex as a result but dont then people naturally resort to more desperate things .... because they are lonely and desperate. They are doing these things becasue they are in fact desperate, just telling them to go out and do things "organicly" is not going to cut it because they have already likely been trying to do this and they are simply tired of wasting time not getting results.

Quote:
Originally Posted by freedom125 View Post
Don't get me wrong, I'm not relationship-averse.

I just prefer a slower, more natural way of trying to find that.

There's a big difference between meeting someone "in real life" and meeting someone on a dating site.

If you meet in real life, that means that somehow you two met in a completely unrelated circumstance and found out through natural means that you started to like each other, based on your interests, hobbies, personalities and other stuff.

If you meet someone on a dating site and go out with them, it completely skips that step, you know? It's like, you enter your information and boom, here is someone you are supposed to be compatible with. Skip the step of even figuring that out, just go see if you two are bound to be together, you know what I mean? It almost feels like it would be a race to simply see how quickly you are compatible or not, and I'm afraid that could create some false emotions in some really lonely people.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2015, 04:23 AM
 
7,654 posts, read 5,133,847 times
Reputation: 5036
It means people who have failed to catch the opposites sexs eye in day to day interactions that results in relationships and regular sex. Most people are not happy being celibate so if things are not panning out just going about your day then some people will go to extreme measures to make something happen.

Its not ideal but people dont usually do "desperate" things unless .... well ... they are desperate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by variant View Post
What does "desperate" even mean? Not like the dictionary definition, just how it applies to dating. Do some people really want to be in a relationship, because I dunno... they like it, Maslow's hierarchy and all that? Yeah. Does that make you desperate? Maybe to people who "Don't need no man", or "Don't need no woman" to complete them or whatever. That's cool, but I don't think that makes those of us desiring a pair bond like most of the species "desperate".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top