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Shooting up is illegal and a good way to die. Having safe sex is legal and a pleasurable, healthy, normal thing that almost everyone does. Also, a think you will probably want to do with her if you like her (would you want to do heroin with her?).
Fantastic comparison.
The point is you are allowed to decide if a woman's, or man's, level of promiscuity matches what you want in a partner. Just like drug use, a person's sexual choices are part of their character and something that is perfectly acceptable to gauge whether or not you want to join that person in a sexual relationship.
And no. If I knew she was sleeping with 4 guys a week, I would not want to sleep with her.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
The point is you are allowed to decide if a woman's, or man's, level of promiscuity matches what you want in a partner. Just like drug use, a person's sexual choices are part of their character and something that is perfectly acceptable to gauge whether or not you want to join that person in a sexual relationship.
And no. If I knew she was sleeping with 4 guys a week, I would not want to sleep with her.
You sure do like extremes that don't match what happens in real life.
But yeah, if she was sleeping with four people in a week and she wouldn't make you number five I'd move on if I were you as she is out of your league. You can then claim on message boards you dumped that promiscuous chick and act like you're a triumphant man.
The leap from "not wanting to be with someone that was banging another person while you date" to "jealous and controlling" is ridiculous. I'm sure in that scenario you wouldn't be the only one dodging a bullet.
But he is jealous. He was jealous that the other guy had sex while he didn't. See the part in boldface, below.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MontyMan
So here's what happened last night, the quick version because I have to get to the office. I can get more into it tonight after work.
As we agreed, she came over last night. She said she wanted to talk and I let her. She basically said that we should be able to talk about anything and that if I wanted to talk about anything she would. I tried the “cool approach” but she didn’t buy it. She asked me why I brought up FWB dude's name the night before. Again I tried the “it’s all cool babe” but she wouldn’t let it go. So I told her.
I asked her if she had sex with the FWB guy. She blubbered yeah. I asked her if she had sex with the FWB guy while we were dating. She didn’t answer at first so I said what about talking about “everything” like she said. She then said yeah but that it was around the time that she and I had met. When I pointed out certain things that I have found out she “rephrased” and said it went on for a little while. How long? She said she doesn’t remember. Of course at some point she started to cry but at that point it was me who wasn't buying.
I basically laid out how I feel. I asked her why it took us like two months to do it but in the mean time she was doing it with FWB dude. She said that he put the moves on her right away and that she just did it. She said when she met me she thought we had an instant connection so she figured we could be boyfriend and girlfriend so she acted differently.
When I asked her why she kept screwing him when she thought we’d be an item she didn’t really have an answer. She said she wanted to stop it soon but that the guy was sorta all over her and insistent.
I asked her if she thought it was right for us to go on loads of dates and dinners and stuff and I only got the hug and kisses treatment at the end of the night while all the while the other guy was getting sex. She didn’t have an answer and just kinda cried so I dropped it but I wasn't a chump either. She didn't want to go but I sent her home.
I keep telling myself that I had been played for a sucker. About an hour ago she called me but I didn't pick up. She left a message basically saying she never wanted to hurt me and that she was sorry and what can she do to make it up bla bla bla.
Now I’m hung up on knowing if she continued with FWB dude even AFTER the two of us finally got intimate. She says she can’t really remember exactly when she stopped with him but I don't believe her.
Like I said before, She's a hottie so I just want to have "fun" with her now. Just like FWB dude did - all fun, no hassle, no wining 'n dining chump **** !
While I think it's b.s. that she didn't know exactly when she stopped sleeping with him (or certainly hope it's b.s. or she's a very stupid woman who wouldn't know who the father of her child is if there was an accidental pregnancy), I don't know that she played you for a sucker as much as she didn't want to give up the sure thing for the maybe.
You, and I, and every other adult here know that many, many men operate that way. They will continue sleeping with the sure thing even as they are taking it slow and playing the role of gentleman with someone they might want a relationship with--by their own decision. After all, isn't that what the double standard is about? Some women you screw, others you marry? And didn't you just turn her into the "someone you screw" in your own mind? So really, you are now no better than she is, if you think that dichotomy is the wrong way to approach dating. Congratulations, you have just become that which you claim to hate.
But don't worry: If she's a hottie, they'll be lining up outside her door the minute they learn she's single again, and if you play mind games with her, she'll soon realize there are plenty of men who won't and she'll be done with you soon enough.
You sure do like extremes that don't match what happens in real life.
But yeah, if she was sleeping with four people in a week and she wouldn't make you number five I'd move on if I were you as she is out of your league. You can then claim on message boards you dumped that promiscuous chick and act like you're a triumphant man.
Lol. If you didn't have sex with her, you didn't dump anyone. You failed. But cute attempt at me. Way to avoid the point captain save-a-ho
You, and I, and every other adult here know that many, many men operate that way. They will continue sleeping with the sure thing even as they are taking it slow and playing the role of gentleman with someone they might want a relationship with--by their own decision. After all, isn't that what the double standard is about? Some women you screw, others you marry? And didn't you just turn her into the "someone you screw" in your own mind? So really, you are now no better than she is, if you think that dichotomy is the wrong way to approach dating. Congratulations, you have just become that which you claim to hate.
But don't worry: If she's a hottie, they'll be lining up outside her door the minute they learn she's single again, and if you play mind games with her, she'll soon realize there are plenty of men who won't and she'll be done with you soon enough.
But what if you aren't a part of the many men?
Now what?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
But he is jealous. He was jealous that the other guy had sex while he didn't. See the part in boldface, below.
While I think it's b.s. that she didn't know exactly when she stopped sleeping with him (or certainly hope it's b.s. or she's a very stupid woman who wouldn't know who the father of her child is if there was an accidental pregnancy), I don't know that she played you for a sucker as much as she didn't want to give up the sure thing for the maybe.
You, and I, and every other adult here know that many, many men operate that way. They will continue sleeping with the sure thing even as they are taking it slow and playing the role of gentleman with someone they might want a relationship with--by their own decision. After all, isn't that what the double standard is about? Some women you screw, others you marry? And didn't you just turn her into the "someone you screw" in your own mind? So really, you are now no better than she is, if you think that dichotomy is the wrong way to approach dating. Congratulations, you have just become that which you claim to hate.
But don't worry: If she's a hottie, they'll be lining up outside her door the minute they learn she's single again, and if you play mind games with her, she'll soon realize there are plenty of men who won't and she'll be done with you soon enough.
You really don't, you just have to know the mentality behind where it was coming from.
The poster himself just said I got it right. Game over, timberline.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Exclusivity and commitment are the same thing. They're synonyms. If you're exclusively seeing someone that means you're in a relationship where you are committed to just seeing once person and excluding anyone else.
Hehe, no. A commitment is what you have with someone you're going to stay with, or "go steady" with as recuerdeme himself put it. A commitment is what you make to someone when you're not going anywhere. Technically, polygamous marriages are an example of a commitment. They set out to stay together for richer and for poorer, thick and thin, etc. because they are committed to each other and that goal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
Before you're in a relationship? No, before you are in a relationship, you don't get to monopolize someone else's time. If you want someone to focus on you, then you go right for the relationship and skip the whole dating thing.
Well that wouldn't be very wise at all. Dating is how you determine if you want a relationship in the first place! And who's talking of monopolizing the other person's time? The exclusivity is regarding sexual relations only. Is that all women do with their time, have sex? Lol, I should hope not!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
You sound like you want someone to focus only on you while you make up your mind as to whether you want a relationship with her. It doesn't work that way.
Of course I don't "sound like" that, because I in particular said I'm fine with the woman dating other guys. I'd just be turned off to find out she was sexually active with another guy while we were dating. And I suppose I have to tell you too; exclusivity and a commitment are not one in the same. Neither one of us is being expected to commit to the other while in the dating phase, just not boink other people in the meantime.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
That's not what I said. I said "Are you seeing someone?" Most socially adept people over the age of 22 know what that means both to ask and to answer.
If you can show some sort of poll or survey to prove there's a consensus on its meaning, that would be great. Until then, I disagree. I think for some socially adept people it means "Are you in a relationship?", for others it means "Are you dating anyone?", for others it means "Are you sexually active with anyone on a regular basis?" and finally I'm sure many people take it to be referring to some combination of two or more of these.
But he is jealous. He was jealous that the other guy had sex while he didn't. See the part in boldface, below.
You, and I, and every other adult here know that many, many men operate that way. They will continue sleeping with the sure thing even as they are taking it slow and playing the role of gentleman with someone they might want a relationship with--by their own decision. After all, isn't that what the double standard is about? Some women you screw, others you marry? And didn't you just turn her into the "someone you screw" in your own mind? So really, you are now no better than she is, if you think that dichotomy is the wrong way to approach dating. Congratulations, you have just become that which you claim to hate.
Moving the Goal Posts Issue A has been raised, and adequately answered. Issue B is then raised, and adequately answered. ..... Issue Z is then raised, and adequately answered. (despite all issues adequately answered, the opponent refuses to conceded or accept the argument.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
Lol. If you didn't have sex with her, you didn't dump anyone. You failed. But cute attempt at me. Way to avoid the point captain save-a-ho
You're the one that failed by throwing in a random "sleeping with four dudes" a week crap and introducing a ridiculous shooting heroin scenario.
And you CAN break up with someone that you haven't had sex with. Do you know nothing about dating? It really seems like you don't. A tip: stop reading third rate misogynistic blogs and have real relationships.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
The poster himself just said I got it right. Game over, timberline.
Actually no, might want to work on that reading comprehension. We weren't discussing an OP's post. Nice try though!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Hehe, no. A commitment is what you have with someone you're going to stay with, or "go steady" with as recuerdeme himself put it. A commitment is what you make to someone when you're not going anywhere. Technically, polygamous marriages are an example of a commitment. They set out to stay together for richer and for poorer, thick and thin, etc. because they are committed to each other and that goal.
NO ONE uses "go steady". They haven't since happy days. Yes, you can have committed poly relationships, but you were talking about monogamy (not having sex with multiple partners). So, now, once again you're changing what you're saying. Committed monogamy (what we discussed here) and exclusivity are the exact same thing. AS I SAID. Tell me, how committed monogamy and dating exclusively are different. That should be good.
You can keep trying to change what we're speaking of to suite your flawed agenda, but that dog still don't hunt.
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