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What I am saying is that true happiness comes from getting married and having kids. As a 48 year old I have a bit more experience than a 20 something that has not found the love of their life and had a family. From what I am reading the intent is to say, I can not be happy doing my thing with some kid hanging around. Doing your thing is not happiness, it is selfishness. It is the me, me, me, attitude of I want to do what I want, when I want, for how ever long I want.
True happiness comes from giving of yourself. You get married to someone and do what ever you can to make that person happy without the least bit of concern for your own happiness. You make their wants and desires come true. With kids it is the same, doing what we can to make them happy and teaching them that giving of ourselves is an important and satisfying trait to have.
For those boys that want to grow up to be men someday, realize that real men are selfless and giving of their time, knowledge, and talents. If you want to be a real man you will forget selfishness and the me, me, me, attitude of life and find someone to share your life with, grow old together, raise a family and see what real happiness is all about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113
You need to take your own advice. You think you're mature but you are not. If you really were mature, you'd realize that fully grown adults have a mind of their own. You'd also realize that people in general will not live their lives just for your approval. Your not that special, and the fact that you decide to right off anyone who disagrees with you as "immature little boys" reflects poorly on you and your ability to accept different opinions. Marriage and building a family is a personal choice. I don't judge people based on whether they are single, or someone's spouse or if they are a parent, I look at that their actions. The irony of everything that you have said, the fact that you believe that everyone should live up to your standards and expectations and live your lifestyle makes you incredibly self-absorbed as those who are close-minded usually are.
It is common in the human race for people to express fear over those who make different decisions in life. Factor that in with the herd mentality that is nurtured in most western religions and you have the recipe for people who believe that there is only one narrowly defined path to "true happiness."
You are all correct. The problem is that since you made your choice to stay single then you will never have anything to compare it to. I was single and that was fun. I am married with kids and that is more than fun. Looking back I was not really happy being single. I was just having fun. I am not asking for approval. I am sharing my experience on the subject.
You are all correct. The problem is that since you made your choice to stay single then you will never have anything to compare it to. I was single and that was fun. I am married with kids and that is more than fun. Looking back I was not really happy being single. I was just having fun. I am not asking for approval. I am sharing my experience on the subject.
There are way more choices in life than just choosing between being single and being married with children. Someone could choose to volunteer helping disadvantaged overseas populations. Someone could choose to serve in the military. Someone could choose to study archaeology or geology and live in remote locations all over the world. Someone could choose to be a monk, just to name a few examples.
You came across (to me at least) as very condescending preaching that parenthood is the only indicator of maturity.
You are all correct. The problem is that since you made your choice to stay single then you will never have anything to compare it to. I was single and that was fun. I am married with kids and that is more than fun. Looking back I was not really happy being single. I was just having fun. I am not asking for approval. I am sharing my experience on the subject.
It looked more like you were trying to enforce your view on the guy and trying to shame him into doing something he doesn't want to do. Its good that you are happy being married. Its also good that the OP has decided in a mature fashion that he doesn't want kids and it taking the only effective action that will guarantee this.
If the male pill was available then maybe that would be an option to him. If I was the OP's age I would probably do the same sort of thing but would really like there to be an effective male pill. To the OP, do what you want, its your body.
You are all correct. The problem is that since you made your choice to stay single then you will never have anything to compare it to. I was single and that was fun. I am married with kids and that is more than fun. Looking back I was not really happy being single. I was just having fun. I am not asking for approval. I am sharing my experience on the subject.
No one thought you were asking for approval. Do you read what your write? YOU were expressing your DISAPPROVAL for others' choices, which were not wrong or indicative of maturity. So, don't spin it to save face. You've already lost it.
It is so frustrating that when someone, aged 22, says "I don't want children" and are told: "You don't know yourself yet." And then when someone aged 22 says "we're starting a family!" everyone goes "Congrats! You'll love it."
I've known since I was a young teen I didn't want kids. In the past ... oh, eighteen years, that hasn't changed.
It is extremely hard for young men to receive a vasectomy under the age of 25, and even after that it is near impossible to receive surgery if the patient does not have children already. There are no legal bars, it is entirely up to the doctor.
Good luck finding a DR that will to it at your age of 22.
What I am saying is that true happiness comes from getting married and having kids. As a 48 year old I have a bit more experience than a 20 something that has not found the love of their life and had a family. From what I am reading the intent is to say, I can not be happy doing my thing with some kid hanging around. Doing your thing is not happiness, it is selfishness. It is the me, me, me, attitude of I want to do what I want, when I want, for how ever long I want.
True happiness comes from giving of yourself. You get married to someone and do what ever you can to make that person happy without the least bit of concern for your own happiness. You make their wants and desires come true. With kids it is the same, doing what we can to make them happy and teaching them that giving of ourselves is an important and satisfying trait to have.
For those boys that want to grow up to be men someday, realize that real men are selfless and giving of their time, knowledge, and talents. If you want to be a real man you will forget selfishness and the me, me, me, attitude of life and find someone to share your life with, grow old together, raise a family and see what real happiness is all about.
so, by that logic, every single man/woman is selfish?
everyone is different. it is more common today for people to have goals that transcend getting married or starting a family. to call someone selfish for not wanting to go down the same beaten path is a bit extreme.
"It's my body," its a man's choice
Old enough to die at war, then I'm old enough to make this decission
So true though OP. I think we've gotten around so much to basing decisisons on what women , want and think but the reality its none of their business.
Personally ive never wanted kids. That hasnt changed at all .
I dont think you have to necessarily go to this extend to prevent getting pulled in to having a kid.
Like women say though,
its your body, your choice. So ill stand behind every feminist/woman on this. Pro choice Pro Choice Pro Choice Pro Choice Pro Choice Pro Choice!!
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