Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She won't say. It's the whole bvllshiit "you should figure it out" game..
What is your "payoff" (benefit) for staying with her and tolerating her behavior? It's obvious what your SO's "payoff" is. Sometimes we accept "payoffs" regardless of the negative affect it has on us. You are not going to change her no matter how long you stick it out, so ultimately it's up to you whether you want to continue to reap the "benefits".
I only know how to either be a total d1ck and go way overboard, or ignore it and look like a sissy in situations where my SO is rude or disrespectful.
I never punish her in anyway when she says or does something rude and because of that I'm getting walked all over. When she doesn't get her way she goes into a fit of silent, Asian rage that lasts for half a day up to two days. Total waste of time that we could be enjoying together. The irony is, if I broke up with her and took away all the things I'm doing to support her, she's be financially fvcked. She uses one of my cars, she lives in my house, and I pay thousands each semester toward her college tuition.
I could ignore her to try to punish her but that's dumb and really childish. I can't take any of that stuff away because that's going to far. I can't say, "hey, stop being a ******" because that's going too far.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to play games. I want her to fix her selfish, selfish attitude and act right. What are some responses that bridge the gap between over-reacting and doing nothing?
If it's a continual thing, especially if she doesn't talk for a day or two, then, that is not acceptable. Everybody argues and has their bad moments but, if she does this more than once in a great while, it's a problem. She shouldn't be "raging" toward you or with you. Sounds like a bad relationship.
I only know how to either be a total d1ck and go way overboard, or ignore it and look like a sissy in situations where my SO is rude or disrespectful.
I never punish her in anyway when she says or does something rude and because of that I'm getting walked all over. When she doesn't get her way she goes into a fit of silent, Asian rage that lasts for half a day up to two days. Total waste of time that we could be enjoying together. The irony is, if I broke up with her and took away all the things I'm doing to support her, she's be financially fvcked. She uses one of my cars, she lives in my house, and I pay thousands each semester toward her college tuition.
I could ignore her to try to punish her but that's dumb and really childish. I can't take any of that stuff away because that's going to far. I can't say, "hey, stop being a ******" because that's going too far.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to play games. I want her to fix her selfish, selfish attitude and act right. What are some responses that bridge the gap between over-reacting and doing nothing?
Is there a pattern? Could it be the time of the month for her, if that is the case, you can "fix" the problem by taking her to ob/gyn. But then again, she might yell at you and call you crazy.
If she is just an angry person overall, ignore her, or break up with her. What else can you do? Personally, I won't tolerate this kind of behavior.
When your SO is rude or disrespects you, how do you personally react?
Describe to your SO what they did specifically. Describe to your SO exactly how this made you feel and why. Explain to your SO how they should act in this regard in future and what kind of behaviour is unacceptable to you. Listen to and acknowledge the reaction your SO gives to this. Based on that reaction decide for yourself if this remains a relationship you want to be part of.
Count your blessings man. I mean what guy wouldn't like to have a woman that goes silent when she gets pissed off, rather than screaming and yelling at you!
It seems like such a waste though. All she has to do is grow up a little and at least attempt to get rid of the bad attitude and we'd get along great.
Wait.... you have multiple threads about her, and none of them good.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Not for nothing, but you sound like you could stand to do some growing up of your own. How old are you, anyway?
Let me guess: She's hot and good in bed.
And I'm not reading your other posts because I feel like I got scraped off the sidewalk right now, but their titles are all pretty damn depressing.
Even though you've likely scored the looks/sex jackpot, you're with someone who seems like a spoiled brat. That's not going to change. She is not going to magically one day see the light and say "oh, now I want to grow up and stop all my negative behaviors."
You basically want to keep her body and the sex and change her personality. Maybe we'll have androids you can do that with one day, but for now, the answer is to find someone else.
I'm not sure which has a higher ick factor - her being in the relationship with you for all the stuff you buy her (because that really does seem to be the reason from my perspective) or your weird Svengali approach to having a relationship. Try having a relationship with a fully realized adult.
She won't say. It's the whole bvllshiit "you should figure it out" game..
Doesn't sound like either of you are very adept at communication or respect. Have you considered counseling? A professional might be able to teach you some strategies for fixing your communication issues.
We tend to copy patterns we've seen in our own parents, even if they are dysfunctional, and if your parents' pattern and her parents' pattern are a mismatch, it's pretty hard to develop what works for you.
stop being a diva and chill, find someone else if you want to have a chill/respectful relationship
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
