Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why is it that I rarely see mentioned on here that compatibility of schedules is one of the top criteria for a partner if such a relationship is to advance beyond casual dating.
I mean......I work a regular M-F 40 hour week and have enough free time for whatever it is I feel like doing when I am not at work.
Its not that I don't have a lot going on---I do, BUT it is totally my choice to be active when I do not have to work.....IOW I dont feel obligated in any way to be "doing something".
I'm not knocking anyone, but I just don't see how it would ever work for me getting in a relationship with someone who works weekends, goes to school full time and even has kids. This to me is would be as much of a "penalty" in terms of incompatibility as would be a 20 year age difference.
How could I take weeklong or two vacations with this person, or even plan several weekend getaways each year??
Just this year in Feb I traveled to Maine for 6 days of snowmobiling, the next month a went on a weeklong scuba diving trip to Bonaire, followed by a long weekend in Chicago the month after that, followed by a 12 day vacation to far Northern Quebec in July, not to mention numerous weekend and day trips within 100 miles of home.
How could I ever be compatible with a partner tied down with such a hectic life? How would they have the time to enjoy these kind of things with me?
Let me make it clear that I say that not to brag or put anyone down, but rather to illustrate that someone with a drastically different schedule than me (unless it is for the short term--6 months or less lets say) seems very unlikely to mesh.
While I wouldn't expect a woman to do EVERYTHING with me in terms of travel---heck I wouldn't want her to do everything step-for-step anyway, I would want to at least take part is HALF of this sort of thing.
So tell me why I do not see a lot of people here talk about schedule compatibility being near the top of their list? Like I said, I think someone with a totally different schedule to do stuff with is the same as a 20 year age difference IMHO.
When you find that perfect someone, you should WANT to spend time with her instead of disappearing for days.
You should WANT to do some of the things that SHE likes to do.
You SHOULD take an interest in HER interests too.
Sounds like you are unwilling to compromise... which is WAY more important for compatibility than scheduling is.
Not really something that people would need to select for, because people that don't have compatible schedules will most likely not meet in the first place.
Well I think schedule compatibility is something to think about. Sorry but I don't see it in the same category as a twenty year age difference though.
Seems though like you aren't completely realistic as what you are asking as many people don't have that kind of flexibility.
I agree. Unless you're looking for a friendless orphan who has only a love for travel and nothing else, beyond work schedules people have friends and family they want to spend time with, participate in their own hobbies and activities in their free time. They may have children to care for, or aging parents or a disabled sibling.
You might have compatible work schedules and still not always be able to coordinate constant trips together either. Your partner may not have as much vacation time as you do, and may not want to use all of it for travel.
I work in a small office of 3 and the boss is away a lot so other than the rare single day, neither of us is to work alone when he's off. My SO is second in command at his workplace, so he can never be away when the boss is. His boss travels a lot for business, and also takes a lot of vacations, not to mention he's not Christian, so there are extra religious holidays he is away for, and trying to coordinate time off together can get crazy for us sometimes.
Schedule and interest in travel (day trips up to several months away) are both high on the list for me. I mentioned them in my online profile when I had one.
You seem to assume that someone who has time to travel also has the desire to do so. That's not my experience at all. I find that interest is far more rare than a flexible schedule is.
OP - Even if I wasn't a parent and did work a straight M-F 40, I still couldn't stand up to the demands you have created in your own mind because ... I don't have that kind of vacation time available. And, maybe some of my time that I do have I want to set aside for me.
As others have pointed out, you're too quick to assume that a partner would want to mirror the trips that you have planned out, or spontaneously take, which ever is the case. Over the past 4 years of my marriage, my vacation time was spent doing major home improvement projects - and, that is something I would still continue rather than run off every month.
Now, schedule wise, I currently consider myself as an undateable woman. I work 2nd shift and am a full time parent during the day time hours. My shift does conflict with just about the rest of the world. But, I'm realistic and don't even pursue meeting people because I know it is a scheduling nightmare at this stage of my life. Schedules do change, though.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
