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Among folks I know in their late 20s, something is wrong if you have been a couple for almost a year and don't live together and spend holidays together.
If his parents and friends aren't inviting you to their get-togethers, that means he has given them the impression that you are not really his gf.
We both have our own places and his is closer to both his work and mine. He gave me a key to his place a few months ago and I stay there a couple of nights a week and Sundays.
As far as commitment, we recently had a conversation because I'd like to leave the state and/or country to find a new job next year after I graduate. I asked him what would happen at that point and he said that he could find a job wherever I go. Actions are louder than words though, so what he said there seems to contradict the lack of seriousness he's showing now. It makes me wonder if now he's just taking me for granted.
Wmsn - How do I distinguish between whether I'm convenient or if he's actually in love? He acts so loving when we're physically in each other's company. Though the lack of including me in plans with his friends and family hasn't changed much.
I should add that I've done my best to include him in my family get togethers and when I'm out with my friends, but he hasn't reciprocated much even though that's an issue we discussed. It seems that he only invited me out with his friends twice since that discussion, which was in August I think.
It sounds like a case of, "Out of sight, out of mind."
If he can't even make room for you on a holiday, why would he move to another state or country to stay with you? It really sounds like you've lasted a year basically because you've carried the relationship by initiating most everything and showing up at his place.
The way I see it, if he loved you, you wouldn't feel this way. You've had misgivings all along about how much you see each other. It's not getting better.
It sounds like a case of, "Out of sight, out of mind."
If he can't even make room for you on a holiday, why would he move to another state or country to stay with you? It really sounds like you've lasted a year basically because you've carried the relationship by initiating most everything and showing up at his place.
The way I see it, if he loved you, you wouldn't feel this way. You've had misgivings all along about how much you see each other. It's not getting better.
Thanks. Well he finally contacted me today. What was it? A picture of a cat I'm assuming is at his friend's house titled "he doesn't know but we WILL be friends!" I don't even know what to say. Nothing about how my weekend is going or anything. He is a jokester, but man.
Thanks. Well he finally contacted me today. What was it? A picture of a cat I'm assuming is at his friend's house titled "he doesn't know but we WILL be friends!" I don't even know what to say. Nothing about how my weekend is going or anything. He is a jokester, but man.
What a letdown.
Well, it sounds like he may be a bit of a kid. I mean, he may not even realize he's treating you like a bro.
Has he had other LTRs? He may never be on the same page as you regarding romantic relationships. You need to decide if you are OK with that.
Yea, he is a bit of a kid and jokes 90% of the time, but very mature when it comes to job, finances, etc. I think the longest relationship he had was 2 years a few years ago. Others have been a year or less.
Same page as in importance or that how he treats relationships?
I'm so upset I don't really know how to reply to him. I feel like making a snide remark but I know that's not helpful.
I would feel better being a bro, I don't even think I'm at that level of importance to him. If I were, he'd be spending time with me.
I feel like I should say something rather than wait until tomorrow. Like "I wish we could've spent some of the holiday together, but it seems I'm not really on your mind." I don't know a better way to put it.
I spend the majority of my free time with him, as my life is really busy. This means only a couple of week nights and I usually try to keep the weekend open for him. But I always get Sunday nights, as he goes on Saturdays back to his hometown to spend with his friends. So I never get a whole lazy day with him , it's always a couple of hours and then wake up for work.
He spends every Saturday with his hometown friends? All day, every Saturday?? Who are these people? I've never heard of something like this. You two don't do weekend activities together, like trips out of town, a day hiking or doing stuff in the city, etc.? Honestly, this doesn't sound like much of a relationship. Have you met all his friends, are you sure he's not seeing an old flame along with the buddies he's visiting?
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