Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You come off sounding like a gold digger. If that is the case, I hope the guy picks up on it early.
I'm not a gold digger at all but I am impressed by academic achievements and career success. I prefer to date men with college degrees, but I make exceptions sometimes. I make enough money to provide for myself, but at the same time, I have to think of any future children I might have and I would be doing a disservice to them if I didn't at least try to settle down with someone who is not only a good husband and father, but who can also provide for them financially. Bills are real, folks.
Quote:
You sound like you still have some oats to reap before you settle down, thus the attraction to GUY#1.
Yes, but I was hoping to do that with someone who I could also settle down with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raging-Hetero
So wait, you need Guy #2, but you want Guy #1? Is that correct or am I missing something here?
Yes, I think I need someone like Guy #2 for an actual relationship that can last but I'm attracted to guys like Guy #1 just to fulfill these fantasies that I have about passion and romance.
I'm not a gold digger at all but I am impressed by academic achievements and career success. I prefer to date men with college degrees, but I make exceptions sometimes. I make enough money to provide for myself, but at the same time, I have to think of any future children I might have and I would be doing a disservice to them if I didn't at least try to settle down with someone who is not only a good husband and father, but who can also provide for them financially. Bills are real, folks.
Yes, but I was hoping to do that with someone who I could also settle down with.
Yes, I think I need someone like Guy #2 for an actual relationship that can last but I'm attracted to guys like Guy #1 just to fulfill these fantasies that I have about passion and romance.
So you're saying that I should just forget about all that and accept that true love and compatibility is much more rewarding and satisfying than passion and lust. Right?
So you're saying that I should just forget about all that and accept that true love and compatibility is much more rewarding and satisfying than passion and lust. Right?
Well, hopefully passion comes with love and compatibility. I can't imagine why not. You may see that develop as you get to know Guy #2.
So you're saying that I should just forget about all that and accept that true love and compatibility is much more rewarding and satisfying than passion and lust. Right?
True love comes with passion and lust. However, I have a hard time understanding why you would be so attracted to someone that made you uncomfortable.
So you're saying that I should just forget about all that and accept that true love and compatibility is much more rewarding and satisfying than passion and lust. Right?
You're the only one who has said they are mutually exclusive. They don't have to be.
I'd go out with both of them again. It does sound like guy #1 is doomed to fizzle out but if you let him go at this point, you'll always wonder. So go out with him another time or two and get him out of your system.
#2 certainly does sound promising! You don't list a single negative in your post about him. And even if it doesn't work out, I've always enjoyed dating outside my type. Variety is the spice of life, right?
I think I can see what your problem is here OP. I think you want the best of both men. You want the physical looks and the little bit of aggressiveness from the first guy, but you want him to be secure like the second guy. It's why you keep making excuses for guy 1, because he has your sexual attention.
I don't want to make you mad here, but go back and reread what you wrote in your OP. I'm catching a vibe that you're a little unsure about what you want from a guy, or what you feel is the appropriate way for you to be treated. I read your post and knew immediately that guy 2 was the best pick, but I could also tell that you wanted to skip over him for guy 1, if guy 1 could just simmer down a little.
You are wanting to change guy 1 to be guy 2; however, guy 1 is who he is for a reason. Just like guy 2 is who he is for a reason. If you want to question where you stand in a relationship, then go with guy 1. If you want something with more substance, then take your time with guy 2. Guy 2 has better attributes to make you happy long-term; however, guy 1 has the attributes to turn you on sexually, but likely won't make you happy long-term.
True love comes with passion and lust. However, I have a hard time understanding why you would be so attracted to someone that made you uncomfortable.
You're right. I found him physically attractive, but I didn't like his behavior. I actually didn't even mention everything that he did to make me uncomfortable because I didn't want to go into all of that here, but basically, I would've been ok with it had he not been a stranger to me. I think he thought he was being funny and maybe he's just used to connecting with people differently when first meeting them than what I'm used to. Or yes, it could've just been that he was trying to get sex.
For the record, I kissed him first but that's just because he had been making it so obvious that he wanted to kiss me so I was just getting it out of the way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by christina0001
#2 certainly does sound promising! You don't list a single negative in your post about him. And even if it doesn't work out, I've always enjoyed dating outside my type. Variety is the spice of life, right?
He seems great. We actually have a second date set up now. Personality wise, I think we seem to match very well. I think in some ways I'm just afraid of dating a guy with potential because I'm used to obsessing over guys that I can't really have for some reason or another, so anything other than that is outside of my comfort zone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
