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I met a guy at work a few weeks ago and we went on our first date about a week after we met. We rarely work together, but we had a few good conversations before our first date. We met up for what was supposed to just be coffee and a walk, but completely hit it off and spent 8 hours together and even ended up making out at his place. He left for vacation a few days later, but still planned our second date for the night he returned from vacation.
The chemistry between us was amazing and we ended up having sex on the second date. I haven't done that in years and was disappointed in myself for not waiting, but he seemed fine with it. I don't regret it, but it did cause me to wonder if I was just a booty call. When he invited me over to his place the following Friday night, I freaked out because I thought it was a booty call and I didn't want to be reduced to a booty call because I actually really like him. His response: "I don't care about any of that, I just want to see you. I have to be up at 5am tomorrow for work, so that's why I'm not taking you out. I just really want to see you."
So, I went over. He was so incredibly affectionate and nicer than ever. We had a great time watching a movie, made out briefly, then he ended it because he had to go to sleep. I stayed over, and he let me stay there so I could sleep in. I still have the key to his house. On Sunday, I was cooking and offered to have him over for dinner, but he was out with friends. No problem. Then I didn't hear from him until Thanksgiving, when he said, "Haven't heard from you in awhile" but he wished me a Happy Thanksgiving anyway. I responded with something similar. Nothing since.
What gives?! Is he still interested? Does he need space? I've been giving it to him. I still really like him and hope it isn't over. I do get the impression that he's not the kind to be super open and that he's probably tough to get to know. Any ideas? Do I just keep giving him space or do I ask if he wants his key back?
Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that he had been texting me at least once a day prior to our last date, then nothing until Thanksgiving.
All that I'm reading online points to the "uncertainty" stage of dating. I guess I find it hard to believe that a guy who clearly just wanted to be with me just over a week ago suddenly has no interest in me.
Thanks for your input! I think we moved kind of quickly and it could have freaked him out.
Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that he had been texting me at least once a day prior to our last date, then nothing until Thanksgiving.
All that I'm reading online points to the "uncertainty" stage of dating. I guess I find it hard to believe that a guy who clearly just wanted to be with me just over a week ago suddenly has no interest in me.
Thanks for your input! I think we moved kind of quickly and it could have freaked him out.
katykat, SLOW DOWN.
As politically incorrect as it is to say it, guys like to be the one doing the chasing.
Give him a chance to make the next moves!
The fact he is still texting means there is still interest.
Phew! Thank you!! I think that's what I needed to hear. I couldn't figure out what the Thanksgiving text was after several days of silence. I was just super upset that something that was going seemingly so well was just finished all of a sudden. I will calm down and be patient again.
Thank you again! It's been a long time since I've been in this position and forget how things work.
don't be afraid of pursuing him a little bit (like you did with the dinner invite, good job!). We guys like to see that, just like you girls like to see that, it shows that the other party wants to see us enough to pick up the phone and make something happen. He obviously is into you so unless he's had weird issues surface over thanksgiving(about a .01% chance of that), he's still into you. He could easily be guarding against being too "needy" looking because he listened to some misguided advice from a friend, you'd be surprised how often that happens. Overall there's been a good balance of power, he's invited you over, you've invited him over, friday night wasn't about a hook up. He may be just looking for you to initiate again and invite him over. You may also be giving him way too much credit and he's not really thinking about anything, just been busy/distracted.
The timeframe really isn't that long, a few days in the first half of the week then thanksgiving hit. Tomorrow is the first normal day after thanksgiving, so really its only been a few days of radio silence (like the poster above said, thanksgiving doesn't count, he likely was with family or didn't want to bother you for the same reasons).
Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that he had been texting me at least once a day prior to our last date, then nothing until Thanksgiving.
All that I'm reading online points to the "uncertainty" stage of dating. I guess I find it hard to believe that a guy who clearly just wanted to be with me just over a week ago suddenly has no interest in me.
Thanks for your input! I think we moved kind of quickly and it could have freaked him out.
You pull away because you don't want to be a booty call.
Now you blame him for backing off a bit.
Think about it.
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