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Old 12-01-2013, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Texas
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Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that came from money? Were there any conflicts as far as being able to relate growing up so differently? There seems to be a lot of tension/animosity that comes from working folks and those that came from wealth. I've never really felt that way about people. It's not like you have any control what family you are born into.
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Old 12-01-2013, 06:58 PM
 
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Unthankful.

Expect you to pick up where the rich parents left off.
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Philosophizer View Post
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that came from money? Were there any conflicts as far as being able to relate growing up so differently? There seems to be a lot of tension/animosity that comes from working folks and those that came from wealth. I've never really felt that way about people. It's not like you have any control what family you are born into.
It was never an issue for me (as the less "priveledged") but his parents didn't think too highly of me for a long time. It made for some awkward dinners with his family.
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Philosophizer View Post
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that came from money? Were there any conflicts as far as being able to relate growing up so differently? There seems to be a lot of tension/animosity that comes from working folks and those that came from wealth. I've never really felt that way about people. It's not like you have any control what family you are born into.
I think often that resentment is warranted. I went to private school and an Ivy League college. I met some INCREDIBLY out of touch people during my school years. I also met some very compassionate people who still managed to be incredibly patronizing in how they viewed people who were less fortunate than them.

I grew up fairly privileged, but I watched people in my own family struggle, and I was not in any way sheltered, in part due to the fact that my mother was an educator in a very poor area (with some of my relatives attending her school). My friends span almost the entire socioeconomic spectrum.

I've had problems dating people from the upper end, personally. I have had some rather strange and painful struggles in my life, and I've found that people from the upper end of the socioeconomic spectrum often don't "get" where I'm coming from. But when I date people who have a background from the lower end of the socioeconomic spectrum, we can find common ground in the things we've dealt with and overcome, even though I've never had to deal with the problem of poverty on a personal level. I'm not saying rich people don't have struggles, but it's easier to deal with most problems the more money you have.

All of that said, I just got back from a date with a guy who is by far the wealthiest man I have ever gone out with. He's very successful, and comes from a privileged background. And he wants to go out again, and I'm totally looking forward to the next date.

What makes him different?

His family also is a mix of working class and white collar, and his parents exercised frugal practices during his childhood, despite a comfortable income. He traveled widely as a child and saw how people at some of the poorest levels of society live. He understands very clearly how lucky he is in terms of his early life. And he works really hard. He is compassionate with regard to the struggles of others. He's grounded. He lives modestly, despite the fact that I'm pretty sure he could bling his life out to a ridiculous degree.

So for the first time in my life, I find myself very interested in a rich guy. Funny that this thread came up when it did.
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Philosophizer View Post
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that came from money? Were there any conflicts as far as being able to relate growing up so differently? There seems to be a lot of tension/animosity that comes from working folks and those that came from wealth. I've never really felt that way about people. It's not like you have any control what family you are born into.
Depends. If you are trying to form a relationship with this woman, from anecdotes people I've heard from people in similar situations, one of the biggest obstacles is getting the approval of her family.

See what happens when a girl brings home a mechanic boyfriend to her rich father.
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Texas
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Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I think often that resentment is warranted. I went to private school and an Ivy League college. I met some INCREDIBLY out of touch people during my school years. I also met some very compassionate people who still managed to be incredibly patronizing in how they viewed people who were less fortunate than them.
Warranted or not, the same people who resent the out of touch yuppies would be the very people they hated if things were flipped.
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:38 PM
 
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Dating a woman who comes from money wouldn't bother me, as long as she understood my roots and some of my choices I make with money.

However, if her parents didn't like me because I am not on there level of money making, I'll make for damn sure that when they come to my place for thanksgiving they're going to eat what us poor folks eat!

I'll find some super cheap turkey slices to heat up in the microwave, buy some kraft mac and cheese, a can of pork and beans, and some of those instant potatoes! Hell I might even get all rich and buy some stove top stuffing!
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
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Originally Posted by Philosophizer View Post
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that came from money? Were there any conflicts as far as being able to relate growing up so differently?
Yes and yes.

It had nothing to do with tension or animosity, though, it was just a matter of very different upbringings and lifestyles. Her parents still largely supported her in her early 30's. (Mine stopped supporting me when I graduated college at 22, and only partially supported me during college.) I lived within the lifestyle that I could afford on my modest grad student stipends and student loans, and she (a fellow grad student) lived the lifestyle you might expect of someone making six figures, though she was making less than I was. Her parents were providing most of that.

I didn't really fault her for it. She wasn't snooty or naive about it or anything. It was just what she was used to. Given the careers we were going into, we would have never afforded on our own the kind of lifestyle she was used to, and she was clearly not willing to downgrade. In other words, had we married, her parents would have been supplementing our lifestyle (house, cars, vacations, etc.) forever. No thanks. Some people would probably love that, but it would have creeped me out because I was so used to supporting myself by then.

We're still friends.
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Philosophizer View Post
Warranted or not, the same people who resent the out of touch yuppies would be the very people they hated if things were flipped.
Maybe. Maybe not. It depends on the person. As I said, I come from somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, and I haven't been sheltered from any of the uglier parts of poverty. I'm no Mother Theresa, but I've got a pretty good picture of what people at the bottom rungs struggle with.

My father is a narcissist - he grew up trapping, hunting and fishing during the Depression and WW2 to earn money and put a little extra food on the table. Today he's pretty well-off, and he is incredibly out of touch with what people who have less go through. But he's a narcissist - it's not really surprising. He forgets that eventually his father got a pretty good job and that he was helped along significantly by his parents as he made his way in the world - he's not at all a "bootstraps" story, but he'd love for everyone to believe that.
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Old 12-01-2013, 08:12 PM
 
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Rich Daddy rears his little girl, a mess that you inherit.
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