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lol oh I know. I mostly meant that for the beginning stage. My bf and I have the same ish set up now but it wasn't like that at first. I was working 7 days/week between my job and internship so I would just see him on my free-est days since his schedule is the most flexible.
We've always been the same distance apart. We met via an online site, so he came up and we met, and the rest is history.
Some people can do it, some people can't. The key is you have to have two people in the relationship who can. There is no magic formula of what will and what won't work. Each couple is unique.
As for me, I've done it before, so yeah, I could build and sustain a serious LTR seeing someone once a week (actually less than that). I am in the process of that now. I am not sure if it will work out long term or not. We'll see I guess. It's worth a shot though.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Yes, of course, this is a typical amount between two professional adult people. Fri or Sat night, or Sat or Sun days. Maybe you can squeeze in something an occasional weeknight if schedule allows (a quick dinner or something), but generally that happens mainly when one person wasn't available the weekend (which is common).
We're probably talking about different timeframes.
When I said, 'after the relationship is established,' I meant after a year or five. At that point, I find a temporary time away from each other can work.
For me, for the first six months or a year, it's important to, as you said, do the everyday things together. Running errands and cooking together and stuff.
No, we're talking about the same time frames. For me that stage of doing everyday things together comes after a year or two of dating, when people start sacrificing other areas of their lives and possibly move in together or near each other so they can spend more time together. It's not really feasible in the first 6 months to a year of dating between busy professionals in a large city, in my experience.
Yes, of course, this is a typical amount between two professional adult people. Fri or Sat night, or Sat or Sun days. Maybe you can squeeze in something an occasional weeknight if schedule allows (a quick dinner or something), but generally that happens mainly when one person wasn't available the weekend (which is common).
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth
It's not really feasible in the first 6 months to a year of dating between busy professionals in a large city, in my experience.
Not feasible or desirable. The early courting - focusing on dates part - is really nice. I'm not having someone accompany me to the pet store / butcher / dry cleaner / laundromat / etc on a Saturday morning. I'd rather get all that stuff done myself, clean the place up nice and take her out (and hopefully home) that night. Oh, we might run or bike or something like that, or go to an event (beer festival, fair/event, etc), but the purely domestic stuff? Nah, that comes later, if it does progress.
It's interesting. Among my peers, there seems to be a bulk of people that do not like dating. They want to be in a relationship, but they hate the dating part to get there. They try to fast forward everything to get to what they call a comfortable spot. I don't get that. Dating to me is really enjoyable.
I typically saw my fiance, if not at least briefly daily, close to it, from the beginning. As we lived in neighboring neighborhoods when we lived apart. We live together, now, and obviously see one another every day. But he is military (was reserve when we met, but working full-time with the reserve center), and is now active duty. About a week after we got engaged, he left for about a month to do an annual training exercise at a base in Singapore. I had just moved in with him, so I was on my own in the new place for that first month. It was a switch, since we'd talked/seen one another nearly every day, but it wasn't that bad. What was worse was that he wasn't reachable by phone, so our exchanges were solely e-mail for that month. But he wasn't in a war zone, or anything, so it wasn't that bad.
It's a given that there may be times when we are living apart, even after we're married, depending on what goes on with his career...he currently has shore duty, working as an instructor at a Naval base, and I'm living here as well, but he could at some point get an unaccompanied duty station, or be deployed. Just how it is.
I don't think I would be capable of emotionally investing in a relationship that had once a week visits.
I could do it casually, but I wouldnt take it seriously. And I would after a month or two of that schedule communicate that it was a casual relationship which meant we were free to date others.
Not only that, but she would have to be amazing for me to not consider dating other people while in casual mode.
But, for me, usually the people I date don't normally like once/week either. If she didn't mind such a schedule, it would be a red flag for me. Especially after a month or two.
But to have a casual once a week dating relationship, I would totally do that. In fact, I bet it could he fun, under the right circumstance.
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