Late 30s, potentially starting over careerwise, but not destitute (dating, women, husband)
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Where do I go to meet women who aren't concerned about this? I am unhappy doing what I'm doing, although it does pay the bills, and there's a decent chance I will be taking a low-paying job or going back to school to do something else. My last relationship just ended after a year and her concern about my career outlook was a big part of it. Not complaining, I have nothing bad to say about her, but right now I can't provide the stability she wants and deserves.
I'm not destitute, I still go out and do fun things, so that's not a problem, but I do need to find someone who's OK with the idea that I'm not exactly a great provider.
I'm pretty much wrecked right now from the breakup but looking ahead to the time when I'm less so. The ideas I've come up with so far are volunteering at an animal shelter and maybe signing up for some co-ed sports. Can't stomach online dating again, and I generally don't enjoy bars/clubs, but I know there are other possibilities out there.
I don't think very many women would make a big deal out of a guy in his 30's making a career switch. On the other hand, if he's nonchalant about negative changes in employment (e.g. going from a well-paying job where he's unhappy to a job that most would consider as part-time), it may be taken as a sign that he may be nonchalant regarding other equally important life issues.
If you don't care about your career aspirations, a woman might think that you may have a similar outlook with respect to relationships and other important matters.
In a broad sense, you should certainly find someone who shares the same goals and values as you do. However, if you set the bar too low, you may find yourself disappointed either at the quantity or quality of the the people that meet your requirements.
I don't think very many women would make a big deal out of a guy in his 30's making a career switch. On the other hand, if he's nonchalant about negative changes in employment (e.g. going from a well-paying job where he's unhappy to a job that most would consider as part-time), it may be taken as a sign that he may be nonchalant regarding other equally important life issues.
Some would if there's a big change in earning potential, or the road to increased earnings is a long one. My husband had a difficult time when he returned to the dating scene due to his profession. He was part of a business that didn't do so well in the area he was living, and lived on savings for a while in the interim. He started looking for new work in his field, but yeah, a lot of women lost interest when they discovered this. Throw in the fact that he didn't own a car (rode his bike and used the light rail), it was a definite no. He jokes that the light in their eyes was immediately sucked out when they broached the topic of careers and all that jazz. None of this prevented him from supporting himself. He just doesn't have career aspirations they were looking for.
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If you don't care about your career aspirations, a woman might think that you may have a similar outlook with respect to relationships and other important matters.
In a broad sense, you should certainly find someone who shares the same goals and values as you do. However, if you set the bar too low, you may find yourself disappointed either at the quantity or quality of the the people that meet your requirements.
Pretty much. Maybe find people with similar interests, personalities and career goals/aspirations. My husband and I are very similar, especially when it comes to career or profession goals. (we aren't corporate types and work freelance and I plan to adjunct teach in a few years on top of freelance work) Our goals work for us and our plans, but our position on work/life balance and goals/interests are not looked at favorably by everyone (e.g., MIL still rants about how he shouldn't have dropped out of his engineering program because he'd be in a "better" place, or the place/life she envisioned).
If you're wrecked from the breakup as you say, and in somewhat of a transition concerning career/school, it seems like dating should be low on your list of priorities. Why not take some time to get over your breakup and figure out your next step career-wise? I know you said you're "looking ahead" but you're probably not in the best frame of mind to do that now. Once you get settled in your next job, or school, then you can think about dating again. Now is an excellent time to focus on yourself.
For the future, there are plenty of women who would be happy with someone who is able to support himself. You don't need to be able to "provide" to please all women.
If you're wrecked from the breakup as you say, and in somewhat of a transition concerning career/school, it seems like dating should be low on your list of priorities. Why not take some time to get over your breakup and figure out your next step career-wise? I know you said you're "looking ahead" but you're probably not in the best frame of mind to do that now. Once you get settled in your next job, or school, then you can think about dating again. Now is an excellent time to focus on yourself.
For the future, there are plenty of women who would be happy with someone who is able to support himself. You don't need to be able to "provide" to please all women.
This is sensible for the short-to-medium term, OP. What's the rush to jump back into a relationship? Take a break to lick your wounds and get back on your feet. Then, if you do go back to school for some career re-training, view it as a plus. You'll be in the perfect place to meet women doing the same. They'll be able to relate to where you're at in life. If you decide to do online dating, you can say in your profile you're in the middle of a career change, taking classes toward a degree or certificate, or whatever. There's nothing wrong with that.
If you decide to do online dating, you can say in your profile you're in the middle of a career change, taking classes toward a degree or certificate, or whatever. There's nothing wrong with that.
It's actually something I saw A LOT of when I was on OKC.
If you're wrecked from the breakup as you say, and in somewhat of a transition concerning career/school, it seems like dating should be low on your list of priorities. Why not take some time to get over your breakup and figure out your next step career-wise? I know you said you're "looking ahead" but you're probably not in the best frame of mind to do that now. Once you get settled in your next job, or school, then you can think about dating again. Now is an excellent time to focus on yourself.
For the future, there are plenty of women who would be happy with someone who is able to support himself. You don't need to be able to "provide" to please all women.
This is sensible for the short-to-medium term, OP. What's the rush to jump back into a relationship? Take a break to lick your wounds and get back on your feet. Then, if you do go back to school for some career re-training, view it as a plus. You'll be in the perfect place to meet women doing the same. They'll be able to relate to where you're at in life. If you decide to do online dating, you can say in your profile you're in the middle of a career change, taking classes toward a degree or certificate, or whatever. There's nothing wrong with that.
That would definitely be a way to go for OLD. In fact it might be one of the better avenues given that you can explain up front what the situation is and people will presumably have read that and know the situation going in. Now if only I hadn't sworn off OLD...
It's actually something I saw A LOT of when I was on OKC.
I have a couple of friends on OKC who have put this in their profiles. No success, but that could be more a function of the numbers game than anything. Of course, one could always build an elaborate web of lies as a friend of mine has done- it always comes unraveled within 3 dates at the most when women find out he's not living in a manner consistent with a "hedge fund executive" salary.
I don't think very many women would make a big deal out of a guy in his 30's making a career switch. On the other hand, if he's nonchalant about negative changes in employment (e.g. going from a well-paying job where he's unhappy to a job that most would consider as part-time), it may be taken as a sign that he may be nonchalant regarding other equally important life issues.
If you don't care about your career aspirations, a woman might think that you may have a similar outlook with respect to relationships and other important matters.
In a broad sense, you should certainly find someone who shares the same goals and values as you do. However, if you set the bar too low, you may find yourself disappointed either at the quantity or quality of the the people that meet your requirements.
That's a really good point. I'm definitely very concerned about the future, not nonchalant, but my concern is much more in finding something I care about than in making a lot of money.
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