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Lets put it this way, have you ever been to a club/bar whatever and there is one guy who will talk smack to any and every woman until he gets one to actually listen? Well this is the guy with high esteem. Why? Because it does not bother him that 99 women said "no" to him because he is confident enough to know that there is that one that will say "yes"
The low esteem dude puts all of his eggs (feelings,emotions dreams, fantasies) into one female and gives off that desparate vibe which she picks up like free meal to a starving man and is more than happy to crush his hopes and dreams with a resounding "I do but not with you" look or a simple and mean sprited NO!
On the internet I like to vent about the fact that I am not good enough, due to the fact that I am single. I don't have a family to come back to for the holidays, I am not rich, I am not charismatic, I am not sexy, I am not experienced in bed, I am not a comedian, I will buy my car next year, I have not yet finished my education, I have poor memories (even though my memory is good), I don't have any exciting tales to tell, I have frequent nightmares, my good friends that I know well live elsewhere, I wear hearing aids AND glasses, I suck at reading body language, I am timid around women.
Sure, I am knowledgeable, I am polite, I can have an interesting debate conversation, I like to listen to people, I can make people laugh *sonetimes*, but the fact is, I have not been able to capture and keep the interest of women like the men better than me have. My female friends said they wish their BFs were more like me, yet, I am not their BF.
Despite that, I do my best to keep a grin on my face and keep my frustrations online (one interesting thing is I've only heard advice for seeing a therapist is on CD). Do women really see through all of this? Or am I too inferior? Or do most people here get married early, and I've misses the boat?
You've certainly not missed the boat, but I do believe if a person wants to be in a nice, long term relationship, they can be. You are either choosing the wrong people to date OR your self esteem shows thru in spades... and yes, we can see it.
My advice to you? Seek counseling. Somewhere along the line you have decided that you are not good enough and though you may not come out and say it exactly in those words, you are either saying it in different words or it's in your body language. Also, I would try exercising (light walking every day or every other day) because it will do wonders for your mental health (get your serotonin levels up and get you smiling, beaming and making eye contact a lot)... it will also help with your posture and body language.
There are things that you mentioned in your post that are not going to stop many women from liking you, but the issue of the nightmares are a problem... along with no exiting tales to tell. It sounds like you are stressed about something and you are not living your life. Get a different pair of glasses, join a group via Meetup.com for something you like or would like to do so you do have exiting tales to tell! Take a cooking class at your local YMCA. Go volunteer at your local ASPCA or join a church group. You are throwing off poor vibes and you can turn that around. Once you do, there will be women that will want to bask in your full, vibrant glow!
Trust me... there are multiple someones out there for you -- so get yourself in order so that when she does pass you on the street or sees you at church or at the ASPCA, she'll want to get to know you AND stick around.
Last edited by chrissy_rox2; 12-13-2013 at 06:45 PM..
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Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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actually i don't ..but maybe because my esteem is so low i can't see anyone elses..
maybe i can. when it is pushed outward, i can tell because it usually involves attacking others as a boost .. its never the sad low esteem its the ones that **** people off and offend others
actually i don't ..but maybe because my esteem is so low i can't see anyone elses..
maybe i can. when it is pushed outward, i can tell because it usually involves attacking others as a boost .. its never the sad low esteem its the ones that **** people off and offend others
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