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Old 12-18-2013, 06:47 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,979 times
Reputation: 10

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How does one cope with the fact that they are not successful at meeting the opposite sex and/or building solid relationships? I'm 35 years old and unmarried w/out children. I have always wanted to be a mom, but sadly, I've had to accept the fact that it will never happen for me.

I don't want to have an out of wedlock child, without being married and I just don't see myself getting married anytime soon, because at my age, it's difficult to meet the type of guy that would be well suited to be a husband and a father.

I hate bars and the idea of online dating, also I would never date anyone from my office. I'm just trying to cope with my reality. Any suggestions on how to cope with this sort of thing?
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Old 12-18-2013, 06:52 PM
 
Location: If I tell you, will you visit?
888 posts, read 956,893 times
Reputation: 975
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac2341 View Post
How does one cope with the fact that they are not successful at meeting the opposite sex and/or building solid relationships? I'm 35 years old and unmarried w/out children. I have always wanted to be a mom, but sadly, I've had to accept the fact that it will never happen for me.

I don't want to have an out of wedlock child, without being married and I just don't see myself getting married anytime soon, because at my age, it's difficult to meet the type of guy that would be well suited to be a husband and a father.

I hate bars and the idea of online dating, also I would never date anyone from my office. I'm just trying to cope with my reality. Any suggestions on how to cope with this sort of thing?

I don't have a good answer for you other than to just hang in there. Women have babies all the time much older than you so don't invest to much into that. You never know when you might run into the right guy.

I'm sorry you are hurting. The holidays make it tougher.
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:03 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,979 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grumptacular View Post
I don't have a good answer for you other than to just hang in there. Women have babies all the time much older than you so don't invest to much into that. You never know when you might run into the right guy.

I'm sorry you are hurting. The holidays make it tougher.
I'm just curious, where would I meet the right guy if I don't go to bars/clubs and I don't want to do the "online dating" thing?

I really want to have a boyfriend, but I'm not really sure how to meet him at this point. Part of my problem is, I relocated due to a new job and I don't have any friends and family in the area. This means that I don't have anyone to hang out with, so it's difficult for me to plan different activities, because often that means going places alone.
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:07 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
84,450 posts, read 77,638,428 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac2341 View Post
I'm just curious, where would I meet the right guy if I don't go to bars/clubs and I don't want to do the "online dating" thing?

I really want to have a boyfriend, but I'm not really sure how to meet him at this point. Part of my problem is, I relocated due to a job to a totally new state w/out any friends and family in the area. This means that I don't have friends to hang out with, so it's difficult for me to plan different activities, because often that means going places alone.
Have you looked at volunteer opportunities in your area, hobby groups, meetups, film society, different classes to take, gym classes, bookclubs, gardening classes at the local nursery (once we get through winter, ha), whatever? There must be a newspaper (often these are free) that list weekly scheduled activities. Some wouldn't be listed, such as language classes through the Alliance Francaise or Goethe Institute, cooking classes through your local kitchen supply store, skeet shooting or archery at your local rifle range (a great place to meet men!), etc. It all depends on your interests.
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,467 posts, read 3,740,539 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac2341 View Post
I'm just curious, where would I meet the right guy if I don't go to bars/clubs and I don't want to do the "online dating" thing?
Coffee shop, grocery store, the park, meetup groups, etc. I'd look to see if there are groups in your area that share some of your interests/hobbies. Even if you don't meet Mr. Right, you can make some friends.
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:27 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
38,187 posts, read 27,975,052 times
Reputation: 35450
What is your issue with online dating?

Nothing wrong with going places alone.
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Durham, NC
345 posts, read 386,478 times
Reputation: 285
There is a lot of this kind of thread in this forum.
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:31 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
38,187 posts, read 27,975,052 times
Reputation: 35450
Quote:
Originally Posted by metalhead0043 View Post
There is a lot of this kind of thread in this forum.

Yeah, I don't get it, young people (relatively) that want something important to them, but won't seize it and do it on their own, and then rule out perfectly good ways to meet people for some odd reason. Self destructive really, like they're afraid of finding something.
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:32 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 5,852,942 times
Reputation: 5807
I think your first step would be to build your social network. Like someone else mentioned, join some singles meetup groups. Even if you don't meet someone that way, you make friends (and networking is a great way to meet men). And aside from meeting men, having friends in your new area will probably cheer you up.

I sometimes relay my bad luck online dating. It really didn't work for me. But really, I am at no loss for trying it. If nothing else, I have interesting stories to tell And importantly, it does work for some people--I'd say just give it a shot for a few months. Don't knock it till you try it.
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:34 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,269 posts, read 55,571,048 times
Reputation: 73369
I want something but am not willing to do whatever it takes.

*sigh*
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