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Well, you do seem a bit insecure but most of us are. We want to be the apple of our man's life and this would make me a bit hurt. I don't think these feelings are too abnormal! Just believe you're amazing and he's with you! Tell him how you feel...
If you cook for your husband & he waits till the END of the meal & after you ask him what he thought of the meal, is this a deal breaker? Shouldn't he compliment without being coaxed at the beginning of the meal instead? Are you okay with hubby complimenting after the last bite & after being coaxed to?
This seems like looking for some way to be offended. Maybe he was enjoying it so much he was wolfing it down and didn't pause to think about forming words. Maybe he had a bad day at the office and has a lot on his mind. Maybe he didn't get a lot of sleep the night before and is zoning out.
I think when you've been married for awhile, you still treat each other lovingly and still compliment for various things, but it's not the same formal, "This is a great meal, Mrs. Smith," that you might use on the first night at the in-law's house. I don't, for instance, compliment my husband every time he does our laundry. Nor does he compliment me for the way I rake leaves every single time. Sometimes we make a point to mention it. Other times it just gets lost in the course of having a lot of other things to talk about. Still, I am grateful that he remembers to hang my sweaters, and he's grateful that I'm a good at getting all the leaves. Let the small stuff go.
I've been cooking for DH for 33 years, and after finishing a meal he still always thanks me for it. He doesn't really compliment it unless I try something new.
I thought about it and payed attention at dinner. DH usually says something in the first part of the meal. Thing is, I don't need a comment for the sake of a compliment, I just need feedback whether this should be something I make again. He usually approves of meals much more than I do though. Last night was met with NO comment from kidlet on lemon bars, I don't usually bake so I was concerned that I messed them up (more tart, more sweet?), so I just asked. I usually compliment DH on BBQ'ing in the first few bites.
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If you cook for your husband & he waits till the END of the meal & after you ask him what he thought of the meal, is this a deal breaker? Shouldn't he compliment without being coaxed at the beginning of the meal instead? Are you okay with hubby complimenting after the last bite & after being coaxed to?
A deal breaker for what????
From the other comments (and threads) you made, it sounds like your husband doesn't like you--I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. Sounds like you 2 live together and married by law but there's no sense of compatibility or sanctitude of marriage at all. And if you constantly need to fish for a compliment then you have some insecurity issues.
Personally, I don't like constant compliments on a meal. I know I can cook and so does my husband and so does everyone else I feed. It's no big surprise if I cook something delicious. If I make something completely new that is tedious, I'll even say myself, "Wow, this came out better than I expected!" and he'll agree.
My theory is this--if he (I'm referring to my husband) doesn't like it or it didn't come out great, he'll eat anyway so it really doesn't matter if it's good or not.
Maybe your husband is waiting until the end of the meal so he can enjoy it without talking?
As for the other example you gave about your friend's nails--I find that rather odd. If your husband is looking at her nails in such detail, what else is he looking at in such detail?
My husband has never commented on someone's nails. I don't see why he would need to.
I thought about it and payed attention at dinner. DH usually says something in the first part of the meal. Thing is, I don't need a comment for the sake of a compliment, I just need feedback whether this should be something I make again. He usually approves of meals much more than I do though. Last night was met with NO comment from kidlet on lemon bars, I don't usually bake so I was concerned that I messed them up (more tart, more sweet?), so I just asked. I usually compliment DH on BBQ'ing in the first few bites.
Great point Mikala! When I make something new I like feedback. Sometimes recipes sound better on paper and don't exactly taste as great. My husband loves BBQ'ing and takes pride in it. We don't just throw some meat on a fire. We use charcoal and various woods, depending on what we're making. If trying a new wood we'll say what we like or don't like about it, that way we know if we should use it again or not or know what other food to use it with.
Op said she was going to work on her marriage, but to me it sounds like she's looking for reasons to validate the need to leave. This is really so petty, i just can't imagine it being a deal breaker.
Honestly, OP, your cooking is probably just fine, he might feel like you know already and he doesn't need to tell you? I agree that getting a compliment is nice. Maybe tell him how you feel (when you're not bothered by it that is )
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