Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrskay662000
I know there are people on here who will jump on me like white on rice, but I don't care.
I want a guy who can pay. If my not paying is a "character flaw, rude, selfish and cheap behavior", then let me tell you what I think about "men" like you...
They are EXTREMELY selfish, cheap, immature, broke, lame and they are terrible prospects for LTRs because "they" can not provide.
Of course I can pay my own way. But will I pay YOUR way too?
Heck no.
I like men.
Not miserly children.
Every single "man" I've dated who held your views never had a good long term relationship with a woman. What I can and can not pay for is irrelevant. What you can or can not afford is irrelevant. If you can't afford the "dates" then you're either broke, or boring because you can't find an interesting and low cost date, or both.
I don't know how you define a "man", but I certainly do not include whiners in my definition.
That goes double for "men" who shave their arm pits.
So don't you lose sleep. The women who can take care of themselves and "men" like you, don't want you.
The OP can and has paid. His issue is he is doing all the investing here and wants to know if his lady is willing to invest a little to show she gives a .
Me and my dude went dutch on our first few dates, now we just go back and forth for the most part but don't really keep track. I probably cover just a bit more, but that's because I don't have a car and when we meet out of the city he always drives so I figure it evens that out a bit.
If you want a woman who pays and pitches in and the woman you're dating doesn't, then you should break it off with her. Easy Peasy.
The OP can and has paid. His issue is he is doing all the investing here and wants to know if his lady is willing to invest a little to show she gives a .
I don't think three dates is an "investment".
There are variables. For example, I'd be fairly likely to pay on the first date if I knew the guy and we were friends beforehand. But some random dude that I don't really know aside from "dating" who is whining about paying for three dates?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
I have rarely run into a situation where a woman doesn't offer, even insist, on paying after a couple of dates. Sometimes it is more sly, as in "I was given a pair of tickets to XYZ, would you like to join me?"
The woman should really be offering something at this point. Something.. paying for drinks after dinner, a show. If she is broke then coming up with lower cost ideas for dates, home cooking..... something.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
-I find it interesting that a lot women get all old fashioned and traditional on you when it comes to paying, but they are about gender equality when it comes to cooking and cleaning. Lol.
-looks like I'll be asking her to plan some upcoming dates, maybe she'll get the hint to pay. The problem is a lot of f women don't take the initiative to plan dates. They expect the guy to keep planning the when and what of subsequent dates.
-I think women really need to step into the 21st century when it comes to paying. The guys paying tradition is based on life 50+ years ago when times were different and many women didn't work or worked very low paying jobs. Today many women make as much or more then men
Basically I think it totally weak not to offer to pay. What it is is being a cheapskate but hiding it behind outdated gender dating roles.
-i find it interesting that a lot women get all old fashioned and traditional on you when it comes to paying, but they are about gender equality when it comes to cooking and cleaning. Lol.
I wanted to get some opinions on dating gender roles and paying for things. I'm a male and currently single and dating. Like most guys, I automatically pay for everything on the first couple of dates. But after say 2-3 dates, I get really turned off it a women doesn't at least offer to pay. I may not let them pay most of the time, but when they don't even make an attempt, it is a big concern for me. I'm currently dating this very attractive lady right now and it's going pretty well. But she has not even offered or attempted to pay for anything and we've been on 4-5 dates. A few of the dates have been fairly expensive including dinners and shows. I like her, but if she doesn't offer to pay for something soon, I may have to move on. To me it is just a very bad sign of what is to come if someone isn't offering to pay at least once in a while. I find it is a character flaw and a sign of a women who wants to be taken care of financially. I also find it kind of rude, selfish and cheap behavior. It's not like it has to be 50-50 split to who pays, but even 60-40 or 70-30. But 100-0 or even 90-10 is unacceptable.
I have found in dating that there are some women who will offer to pay from the very first date. And they will often insist if you have paid for the last few dates. They score big points. And there are some that totally expect the guy to pay for everything always. And many times they don't even show much appreciation or thank you when the guy does pay.
Of course I am aware if there is a major difference in incomes, I am sensitive to that. But to me it is just "the thought" that they are offering to pay. It's the fact they are at least thinking about it.
What are your opinions on this? Should I dump this gal if she doesn't offer to pay for something soon? It's kind of a sensitive topic to bring up, so I usually just move on to another date vs. discussing it with a current date who is not paying.
I dated a woman where we were dating for quite a while and I still was paying for most everything. Every now and then she would pull out her credit card when she felt like it, but she was denting me, and I made pretty good $ at that time (lived in a very expensive city).
I finally brought it up to her and she got really pissed, but eventually softened.
Despite all of the eyerolls in this thread, it is a really good question. We're not talking about one, 3, 4, or maybe even 8 dates. We are talking about women who expect you to pay for everything. And the women I dated wasn't even that old fashioned.
These days, what I would do is ask her about the subject early. And if she got pissed, I would end it.
I don't care if I made $250,000 a year, I don't want that kind of woman.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
