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Sex is a basic need, and women are as entitled to it as men. But being a "liberated" woman does NOT mean playing the man's game. It means respecting and valuing yourself enough to be true to what YOU want as a woman. So, I'm not sure why you feel that you have to "live with" or accept the prevailing dating/sexual culture. Why should you? What will happen if you don't?
What will happen? Well, I probably will go long periods in between dates and not have as much of a "selection" to choose from. Which is NOT A BAD THING. But sometimes even other women will encourage you to settle! I have one angry feminist friend who told me that I was "lucky" that my ex-S.O. gave me the time of day, even though this is a man with ultimately nothing to offer. Angry feminist friend claimed that men can get laid any time they want and don't want to get married, so I should be happy with whatever type of "arrangement" I can get.
It's so hard not to believe this at times, because she gave voice to the negative thoughts in my head. "What if this is all I ever get?" "What if the next one is just the same, and I have to make do jumping from one man to the next?" "What if there are so few men of character, I never meet even one?"
Yes, I realize that this is powerful thinking, that it's unhealthy thinking, and that I need to quit it. It's just so hard at this particular time, after such a brutal break-up.
If you're waiting for everything to be perfect and fully in place until you decide to settle down....well...you'll be waiting a lifetime.
As for this tone from some of the women here about, "You don't have to answer to a man, stay single as long as you like" Good god. With that preset viewpoint, also plan on staying single. You don't have to answer to anyone. Find a life partner, a friend, a lover, someone who enhances you life. Not someone you ANSWER to.
I read these threads and think to myself, no wonder so many women these days bounce from man to man and never settle down. The outlook and expectations you put on yourselves and a potential mate are INSANE and will NEVER happen in the real world.
In life, if you wait on anything until everything is just perfect, you'll die while still waiting.
I think you are right in saying if you waiting for everything to be in order and fully in place then you will end up waiting a lifetime. And no, bouncing around from man to man isn't a good thing either. And I also agree with you on the relationship bit as well.
The only thing that sticks in my craw is this feeling that a young woman needs to get married our of peer and society pressure. Marriage isn't something to rush in to just because "everyone else" is doing it. And from the sounds of it, the Op is miles away from that considering she has only bounced around from man to man. Baby steps. If you are wanting more (love), first "worry" (if you are going to use that word) about having just a regular old long term, exclusive relationship with a man. Then go from there.
What will happen? Well, I probably will go long periods in between dates and not have as much of a "selection" to choose from. Which is NOT A BAD THING. But sometimes even other women will encourage you to settle! I have one angry feminist friend who told me that I was "lucky" that my ex-S.O. gave me the time of day, even though this is a man with ultimately nothing to offer. Angry feminist friend claimed that men can get laid any time they want and don't want to get married, so I should be happy with whatever type of "arrangement" I can get.
Weird. She sounds more like Mid-western traditionalist, almost, than a feminist. She's urging you to sell yourself short and sell out.
What will happen? Well, I probably will go long periods in between dates and not have as much of a "selection" to choose from. Which is NOT A BAD THING. But sometimes even other women will encourage you to settle! I have one angry feminist friend who told me that I was "lucky" that my ex-S.O. gave me the time of day, even though this is a man with ultimately nothing to offer. Angry feminist friend claimed that men can get laid any time they want and don't want to get married, so I should be happy with whatever type of "arrangement" I can get.
That doesn't really sound like the feminist party line, but OK. Generally speaking she sounds pretty delusional about how it works though. A small percentage of the top/best men can get laid (almost) any time they want, and that's who she refers to or cares to comment on. The vast majority of "men" are basically invisible.
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