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Old 12-27-2013, 12:41 AM
49 posts, read 152,333 times
Reputation: 76


Hey there!

I don't know where to begin, but I'll give it a try.

I've been single for few years after breaking up with the last douche I was seeing.
I was quite caught-up in life-drama that I didn't feel like wanting to be in a relationship at all.

Recently, I started to develop feelings for a person I have a business with. He is intelligent, with quite impressive qualifications, yet he is still young. He is very caring, more than anyone I've dealt with in that field. Needless to say that he's very good looking.

I'm on the other hand, have a messed up life. While I'm well educated and (was) doing well in my life, I have been struggling with many issues, anxiety, depression, self-harm, addiction, anger issues.. etc. My medical history contains suicide attempts, psychiatric hospitals, hospital admissions, OD's .. You name it.

The guy comes from a different background, different country, culture, different race, color, language, and religion. It does not matter to me. However, we both came from a very conservative cultures, and these differences are difficult to challenge!

He knows about my background and have read my medical history as a part of his job.

I do recognize that I'm currently not in my best stage of life, and I've been emotionally unstable. I also understand that he's being nice to me as a part of his job, nothing more.

The thing is, I like him a lot. He is a decent person.. Seems perfect in my eyes.

I'm tired of dating douches, and I believe I deserve to be happy! Everyone does!

I have no idea whether he's single or seeing someone. All my conversations with him have been formal and work-related. (He's not wearing a ring, that's all I could see).

I feel that he's way out of my league. I'm not bad looking I guess, but not hot or a model-like.
I believe that a person like that has no reason to be single, and I believe he could do way better.
Plus, why would a successful man be interested in a messed-up girl?

But at the same time, I believe that we only live once. .... ?

I've never made the first move on a man in my life. As I mentioned, I have not been interested in being in a relationship for many years!

But I can't help but wondering what I'm missing if he was the one! The thought of it makes me smile.

I'm trying to get my life back on track. Not that I'm trying to find a shoulder to cry on or anything.. I've always been on my own.

I just like the guy for the person he is! And I believe I have a lot to offer. I'm not just an emo kid as I may appear!

Should I, or shouldn't I?

If I should give it a try, please tell me how?

I'm a shy kinda girl, never asked a man out! And I don't believe I can do it directly.

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

**Sorry for the language mistakes. E is my 2nd language, and I'm writing in a hurry!

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Old 12-27-2013, 01:18 AM
1,028 posts, read 1,121,351 times
Reputation: 622
As for me I never mix work-related relationships with romantic ones. Because I can have many troubles with that. But I understand you. If you see only your home-room and office-room where you can find a guy to date with him? You should to go out and find a good guy out of your work-place.

P.S. I'm sorry, my English is worse than yours
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Old 12-27-2013, 01:34 AM
49 posts, read 152,333 times
Reputation: 76
Thank you Atai J for the advice, but we don't work together. You can say that I'm a client of his.. Just a temporary business relationship.
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Old 12-27-2013, 01:36 AM
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,222 posts, read 16,419,497 times
Reputation: 13536
I don't know. Work relationships can get akward if they go sideways. On the other hand, where else are you supposed to meet people when all you do is work? BUT...let's say you start dating. Then, it's ALWAYS seeing the other person. ALWAYS.

Someone has GOT to leave the job lol

However, that said, I say at the very least, see if he wants to go out for a drink or something, and play it by ear.

EDIT: NEVERMIND! You don't work together? Go for it! Just a simple drink, no pressure.
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Old 12-27-2013, 04:33 AM
12,585 posts, read 16,943,603 times
Reputation: 15256
E is second language but can use "douches" in a sentence. Bravo!
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Old 12-27-2013, 05:33 AM
Location: Wake Forest, NC
97 posts, read 159,764 times
Reputation: 51
The fact that he knows your medical history tells me he and you have some sort of professional relationship? Is he a counselor, psychiatrist, doc, nurse of some sort? I don't see any other reason for someone to have access to that sort of information. Personally, no, I do not believe you should tell him any of this. If he is, as I suspect, in a professional relationship with you, it needs to stay professional. As a nurse, patients can sometimes romanticize the professional relationship and make it more than it is. Clear boundaries should be drawn.

Your history with OD, suicide attempts? You need to stabilize yourself before you think about any other person. Sorry if this sounds harsh or is off base, but I am basing my information on what you posted.
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Old 12-27-2013, 07:14 AM
Location: San Antonio, TX
1,510 posts, read 2,962,599 times
Reputation: 2220
Like Katie said, if he his a counselor or therapist of some kind, you may be venturing into dangerous territory. It's common for patients to develop a crush on their therapists (Google transference for more on that...). Best advice is to steer clear of telling him anything until you are no longer "in a business relationship" with him.

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Old 12-27-2013, 07:33 AM
2,087 posts, read 2,848,292 times
Reputation: 1561
If you are well educated and attractive (as you say), then yes you have a chance.

You have a better chance because you are a woman. However, it sounds as if the guy you are going for is a top dog. Handsome, tall, rich and successful (sounds like a doctor), in which case he probably has his pick of the litter,

But somebody less handsome and just as successful would probably take you, and might even chase you some.

It's important that you're educated, otherwise you'd probably have no shot.
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Old 12-27-2013, 07:45 AM
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,838,486 times
Reputation: 25362
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
E is second language but can use "douches" in a sentence. Bravo!
I smell llort.
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Old 12-27-2013, 07:52 AM
112 posts, read 118,261 times
Reputation: 102
Why is it that the men here are constantly chided for not having their s*it together and told that they need to get their heads straight before moving forward?

And yet, this woman who has been so honest as to admit that she has MANY problems, and has gone so far as to say she's unstable is being told to dive right in?

The double standard that gets peddled on this board is atrocious.
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