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I'm interested in whether there are any men on this forum who got married later in life (say 35+). Was it because you had no good options, or because you were picky and weren't ready? Did you have some problems getting attention from women, or was it purely by choice?
When you did finally get married, how did you find your wife?
I was 34 when I got married. Had known my wife about 2 years at that point.
I am not sure I would say waiting until that age was "choice." I did not plan to get married at or around that age (or any age). I really felt I was in "love" in my early 20's when in college with this woman who would have really been all wrong for me. A case of being lustful but not knowing myself. After she graduated (a year before me) she moved out of town, and me to drag out and remain attached to her through a distance relationship long after it should have ended.
After that, I was really hurt, and chose to live life being single for a couple years. However, when I started to want to date again, mid 20's, I found that a lot of anxiety was causing me to be a social failure in the dating environment, and it kind of snowballed in my mind.
I first met my wife in my early 30's. We met through match.com. Became amazing best friends and still are to this day!
Honestly, I never set out with a goal of getting married by a certain age, or feeling pressure to marry even when I did. I certainly do not feel an ounce of Our relationship just progressed to that as it went along, and we both wanted that four our lives.
I dated very heavily throughout high school, then in my early 20's started having the so-called "long term relationships." A year or two here, a year or two there.......all of them pretty much just ran their course and ended.
Most of the time it takes a while for folks to REALLY get to know each other. I dated a gal for a year before we were officially engaged to be married. Engaged for another year before we broke it off.
I lived with a gal that had no intentions of getting married again (we were playing house), when we decided none of us wanted to be in jail or dead (it was THAT bad).......
By the time I was 30 years old I realized that I wasn't going to raise a family and be the prototypical Dad. I reverted back to my high school ways and dated heavily. All I had to do was concentrate on my career and chase skirts during my time off.
When I turned 40, I changed jobs and moved a couple thousand miles away to a warm climate; might as well start getting ready for retirement.
Married for the first time at the tender age of 41 to a beautiful lady that knows what she wants.
I never bought into the pressure that our society sometimes puts on young folks to settle down, get married and raise a family. But I did know that chemistry was important and I wouldn't be happy compromising throughout my whole life.
Someone once told me that when we compromise, nobody wins and everyone loses in some way. I know it sounds selfish but I never could understand why anyone would put themselves in a position where they would be compromising half of the time....basically being miserable 50% of their lives.
I was 25 first marriage, and 48 the second. I went 17 years with no dating (single Dad), and one short term GF after that first marriage failed. It was purely by choice as I had two young boys to raise, that I didn't attempt any dating etc. I also lived in a semi remote part of Alaska that ran short on dating options!
I met my current wife through good old City Data back in 07. She lived in another country. It was 18 months after actually meeting her face to face we were married. And we were married by another CD member!
I was 25 first marriage, and 48 the second. I went 17 years with no dating (single Dad), and one short term GF after that first marriage failed. It was purely by choice as I had two young boys to raise, that I didn't attempt any dating etc. I also lived in a semi remote part of Alaska that ran short on dating options!
I met my current wife through good old City Data back in 07. She lived in another country. It was 18 months after actually meeting her face to face we were married. And we were married by another CD member!
How do CD people end up dating each other? I never understood this. Do you start private messaging or something? lol
It all started with Google. It steered her to the Alaska Forum. After 3 months of DM's back and forth she sent me a phone number. I mustered up the courage and called her. After 3 months of that she sent me a picture. Then an invite to fly half way around the world to meet her and see her country. I hadn't even been out of Alaska in 20 years! I mustered up a pile of courage and made the trip. It was by far the best decision I had ever made. 18 months later we were married by a wonderful lady we had met also through City Data! We've been married 5 years and two months come tomorrow! I am the luckiest man alive!
I was 25 first marriage, and 48 the second. I went 17 years with no dating (single Dad), and one short term GF after that first marriage failed. It was purely by choice as I had two young boys to raise, that I didn't attempt any dating etc. I also lived in a semi remote part of Alaska that ran short on dating options!
I met my current wife through good old City Data back in 07. She lived in another country. It was 18 months after actually meeting her face to face we were married. And we were married by another CD member!
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