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I know I am going to catch some heat for this. But here it goes.
-I recently met a 26 year old woman online from a different state. Her profile describes herself as looking for a mature, stable and sincere gentleman, etc. My profile stated my age as 40 years old when in fact I am 45. Her "desired" age range on her online profile said she is looking for a guy from 35 to 40 years old.
-Long story short, we hit if off from our initial e-mails and subsequent phone conversations. We seem to be looking for the same thing and share a lot in common. So much so that we have agreed to meet in her city (a 4 hour flight from where I live). I already purchased the ticket (no refunds).
-I have not fessed up to her about my actual age (yet). Note: All the picutres on my profile are current and from 2013. So what she sees on my profile is the real me. Not to brag but I am often told I look 35 or so. I was thinking of waiting to tell her my real age until after we meet in person and have a chance to test the in person chemistry. The thinking here is IF we hit it off and I can romance her a little in person she will be less likely to say hit the road jack.
-Also, please be aware she comes from a different culture (Latin America) where age differences are not as unsual as they are in the USA. She also likes the fact that I have traveled to her native country and can speak her native language (Spanish). I do really like her to the extent you can get to know someone online and via phone calls.
The plane ticket is purchased and I will be in her city in a few weeks. So I am trying to decide if I tell her now via phone BEFORE I meet her in person or AFTER we meet in person..???
Probably should have told her before you bought the non refundable ticket that you lied to her.
The age difference may not be an issue but the lie could be the end of the road for you.
What sort of "romance her in person" are you talking about? Do you have plans to have sex with her while you are there? You can't find someone in your own state or country to have sex with?
I really, really don't get why people lie or put up old pictures (not that you did this) on profiles.
This is always going to end up like this.
Tell her you lied before you go.
People have age requirements for different reasons. Mine was I didn't want a guy a lot older because I had already lost a husband and didn't want to go through with that. Others want kids... etc., etc.
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I'd tell her sooner rather than later. I was involved with a gentleman whose profile stated 31 at the time we met. I was 27. Now, I normally went for men in their late 30's to early 40's, so an older man was not a problem for me. Well, I didn't discover until two months in that he was actually 41. I *knew* he wasn't 31, but didn't quite realize he was 10 years older than his profile stated. He could pass for mid to late 30's. I was upset that he lied about his age. Not the fact that he was much older, but the fact that he lied about it. Not good.
I know I am going to catch some heat for this. But here it goes.
-I recently met a 26 year old woman online from a different state. Her profile describes herself as looking for a mature, stable and sincere gentleman, etc. My profile stated my age as 40 years old when in fact I am 45. Her "desired" age range on her online profile said she is looking for a guy from 35 to 40 years old.
-Long story short, we hit if off from our initial e-mails and subsequent phone conversations. We seem to be looking for the same thing and share a lot in common. So much so that we have agreed to meet in her city (a 4 hour flight from where I live). I already purchased the ticket (no refunds).
-I have not fessed up to her about my actual age (yet). Note: All the picutres on my profile are current and from 2013. So what she sees on my profile is the real me. Not to brag but I am often told I look 35 or so. I was thinking of waiting to tell her my real age until after we meet in person and have a chance to test the in person chemistry. The thinking here is IF we hit it off and I can romance her a little in person she will be less likely to say hit the road jack.
-Also, please be aware she comes from a different culture (Latin America) where age differences are not as unsual as they are in the USA. She also likes the fact that I have traveled to her native country and can speak her native language (Spanish). I do really like her to the extent you can get to know someone online and via phone calls.
The plane ticket is purchased and I will be in her city in a few weeks. So I am trying to decide if I tell her now via phone BEFORE I meet her in person or AFTER we meet in person..???
After.
See if there is chemistry first.
Make up something like, "I had to squeeze into your small window of 35-40 just to meet you."
Make up something like, "I had to squeeze into your small window of 35-40 just to meet you."
You are the contrarian here. But I appreciate your reply. If I tell her now I think it is 90% chance she'll say goodbye. If we meet in person and she likes me I think the chances get better that she wants to continue getting to know me. Maybe it's only 50/50 but it sure beats 90/10 odds.
To other posters who have asked, NO I am not expecting to sleep with her when we first meet. But an in person meeting does give a couple a chance to test the actual physical chemistry.
You are the contrarian here. But I appreciate your reply. If I tell her now I think it is 90% chance she'll say goodbye. If we meet in person and she likes me I think the chances get better that she wants to continue getting to know me. Maybe it's only 50/50 but it sure beats 90/10 odds.
To other posters who have asked, NO I am not expecting to sleep with her when we first meet. But an in person meeting does give a couple a chance to test the actual physical chemistry.
You are essentially that deceitful fat chick who uses old pictures thinking "once he gets to know me it won't matter." tell her now, stop being a coward. People like you run online dating for everyone else.
You are essentially that deceitful fat chick who uses old pictures thinking "once he gets to know me it won't matter." tell her now, stop being a coward. People like you run online dating for everyone else.
I think you meant ruin, not run.
Regardless, I don't think your analogy works. The photos I have up are ALL recent and reflect how I actually look in the present tense.
Not saying what I have done is right.....but she won't be repulsed (or surprised) by my physical appearance IF we meet in person.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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No, she'll just be repulsed by your lying ways, which is worse.
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