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Old 12-28-2013, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Montreal, Quebec
15,080 posts, read 14,316,291 times
Reputation: 9789

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Just as an addendum...my son is about your age. He had a virgin girl once, and said he'd never do it again, for the same reasons I mentioned. Waiting to share a "special, sacred treasure" does not equate with immediate visions of wedding bells and bridesmaids, and that's what usually happens.

 
Old 12-28-2013, 02:40 PM
 
30 posts, read 80,306 times
Reputation: 83
I just read that only 3 percent of the population these days waits until marriage to have sex.

That includes both guys and girls, so that means only 1.5 percent of the adult female population these days is waiting until marriage for sex.

So that means if I am looking for a girl who is willing to wait for me, I can automatically eliminate 99 out of 100 potential girls to date. It's hard enough to find someone even when you don't have a crippling statistic like that. But man that's just depressing to think about. Maybe I should go ahead and drop my ethics if I ever want any chance of being with someone.
 
Old 12-28-2013, 02:42 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,288 posts, read 87,384,526 times
Reputation: 55562
people make too much of sex for better or for worse.
anything that controls you is not good. the great misdeed of family and church is the teaching that sex has some connection with marriage. its doesnt.
best way to be celibate isnt to join the priesthood, its get married.
 
Old 12-28-2013, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Montreal, Quebec
15,080 posts, read 14,316,291 times
Reputation: 9789
Quote:
Originally Posted by WB55 View Post
I just read that only 3 percent of the population these days waits until marriage to have sex.

That includes both guys and girls, so that means only 1.5 percent of the adult female population these days is waiting until marriage for sex.

So that means if I am looking for a girl who is willing to wait for me, I can automatically eliminate 99 out of 100 potential girls to date. It's hard enough to find someone even when you don't have a crippling statistic like that. But man that's just depressing to think about. Maybe I should go ahead and drop my ethics if I ever want any chance of being with someone.
I just find it really sad that you equate hanging on to your virginity like grim death, to some kind of ethics.
 
Old 12-28-2013, 02:51 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,194 posts, read 52,629,348 times
Reputation: 52689
Quote:
Originally Posted by WB55 View Post
I just read that only 3 percent of the population these days waits until marriage to have sex.

That includes both guys and girls, so that means only 1.5 percent of the adult female population these days is waiting until marriage for sex.

So that means if I am looking for a girl who is willing to wait for me, I can automatically eliminate 99 out of 100 potential girls to date. It's hard enough to find someone even when you don't have a crippling statistic like that. But man that's just depressing to think about. Maybe I should go ahead and drop my ethics if I ever want any chance of being with someone.
I personally don't equate ethics with sexual activity, generically speaking.

If you're value system, which is a better way explaining your post, if within that you want to wait til marriage, than that is that, if you change your way of viewing things, than that is that too.
 
Old 12-28-2013, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,901,366 times
Reputation: 98359
Well, this is getting ugly.

OP, you have made some difficult realizations. In my experience, as a now 45-year-old ho once thought like you, sex does not define you, as others have said here, too.

IMHO, you ARE giving it entirely too much value. If you really want to stay a virgin, I think you should move into the "everything but ... " category of virgin and spare yourself the self-flagellation.

That way you can still date, meet girls, get SOME experience, and not rule yourself ineligible before even getting out of the locker room.
 
Old 12-28-2013, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,515 posts, read 34,807,002 times
Reputation: 73728
Just realize you're limiting yourself, and date where you are most likely to find similarly minded women (church).

And stop with the judgement that having sex is for people who lack morals and ethics. That's your belief system, not necessarily those of others.

Choices are personal.
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Old 12-28-2013, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,328,608 times
Reputation: 30258
Quote:
Originally Posted by WB55 View Post
Freaks, basically, who shouldn't be touched with a 10-foot pole.

Call me what you want sex is wonderful; give it a try.
 
Old 12-28-2013, 03:40 PM
 
30 posts, read 80,306 times
Reputation: 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Well, this is getting ugly.

OP, you have made some difficult realizations. In my experience, as a now 45-year-old ho once thought like you, sex does not define you, as others have said here, too.

IMHO, you ARE giving it entirely too much value. If you really want to stay a virgin, I think you should move into the "everything but ... " category of virgin and spare yourself the self-flagellation.

That way you can still date, meet girls, get SOME experience, and not rule yourself ineligible before even getting out of the locker room.
I know you asked me earlier about what I have done with girls, and I answered very PG-ly, but it still told me the post would have to be approved by a moderator. So that's why that response never showed up. But I have done things with a girls. A number of things. Never gone all the way though. I don't know how else to explain that more nicely, but hopefully the mods don't block this one again.
 
Old 12-28-2013, 03:42 PM
 
30 posts, read 80,306 times
Reputation: 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Call me what you want sex is wonderful; give it a try.
I was calling myself a freak, not other people. A person who fits a category that only two out of every 100 people fit, and who can drive away other people with the mere mention of this category could definitely be considered a freak by standard definition.
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