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Old 12-29-2013, 09:03 PM
 
307 posts, read 273,097 times
Reputation: 44

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so..
This is about a friend of mine..known him for years now..hes liked me ever since we met six years ago, I dont think he's ever thought of me as just a friend..but we have remained that way. He's always flirting with me, always telling me he misses me and is depressed when I'm not around him or when he doesnt speak to me, always talking about how he's never felt the same way about any one before me, always talking about how he wants to be with me..and most importantly how he can see himself with me in his future in terms of marriage..

Here's the situation though :
The last time he called me was in march (six months ago), that last week he called me almost every other day. After that last conversation i left it two weeks before calling him.. when I did i could not get through his phone line was totally disconnected or dead..and it still is now (hes had this phone line for four years now). Thinking this was temporary I left him a facebook message saying " hi how are you? whats up? is everything ok?".

Following this I did a little bit of investigating and asked my friend to call up his work and find out if hes there..when she did his work colleague said "hes no longer with us". It appeared he also left his job after two years.

Therefore iin march/april time it appeared his phone line was disconnected..and he also left his job..neither of which I had any clue about or could be explained.

He finally replied to my facebook message in June and he said " im so sorry about the lack of contact iv just had a really tough time lately ill call u soon i promise xxx"
Following this He left facebook..like completely deactivated it so i had no chance to ask questions or reply.

In august I replied to his "tough time" message and i said "its fine u do what you have to do and i am sorry to hear things are not going so well..i look frwrd to hearing from u "

He then facebooked me again..three weeks after my last message and simply sent me two smiley emoticons...in succession like and AND

Apart from the fact hes telling me hes had a bad time and tht he isnt at his old workplace anymore..and his number tht i had for years seems to be out of order I have no clue whats actually happened, as he hasnt been specific enough

AN UPDATE

NINE MONTHS LATER..AND HE CAME BACK IN TO CONTACT from a different number!!!

first thing he messaged was hi..want to meet me for dinner somewhere? apparently he asked my friend first if it would be ok..and she said to him " u did disappear for quite some time and anyone would be annoyed at that"...
I called him after that message..and the first things he said was he really missed me and he's sorry he acted that way and that he will make it up to me..

I admit though I definitely didn't agree to meeting him for at least two weeks following..so i didnt really make it easy on him AT ALL...and then when i did eventually say ok fine..he snapped at me after and said he didn't expect this from me and said he was sorry for coming back in to my life and basically threatened to exit again a couple of times but it got resolved..He also said he really really likes me and asked me why i dont let him come close to me and that i always manage to push him away :/ and tht all he wanted was to take me out...I know i shouldnt have acted the way I did but it was just a surprise him coming back in the first place...and secondly I didnt want to be agree to exactly what he wanted nine months after an enormous amount of confusion and frustration..

But anyway a couple of weeks after..he's now less persistent and isn't really calling me or bothering to reply to my texts properly..im assuming its because of the way i'v been acting?
And possibly because the day that we agreed to meet passed..and neither of us actually said anything about it...and maybe he was expcting me to? and didnt want to be pushed aside again..

What do I do now, in order to get him to be more responsive again?!!!!

i'v basically not opened up to him at all i'v just been making stupid comments about hw he disappeared for nine months..:/ and using cheap shots at him apparently... :/..and not actually told him that him coming back actually made my whole year..
whereas he has been telling me how sorry he was and that he just wants to spend time out with me now and yes on the whole been much nicer :/
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Old 12-29-2013, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
38,811 posts, read 24,467,676 times
Reputation: 55351
If he's just a friend why are you making so much drama when it's obvious he's gone through a rough time?
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Old 12-29-2013, 09:10 PM
 
Location: If I tell you, will you visit?
888 posts, read 975,984 times
Reputation: 975
My translator ran out at the end of your post and I lost what you are trying to ask?

It sounds like he has somethings to work on, and maybe you should just let him
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Old 12-29-2013, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,990 posts, read 49,429,600 times
Reputation: 98359
Good Lord, do you blame the guy?

Leave him alone!

He really likes you, and you, for whatever reason, string him along.

Just let him be.
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Old 12-29-2013, 09:14 PM
 
307 posts, read 273,097 times
Reputation: 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
If he's just a friend why are you making so much drama when it's obvious he's gone through a rough time?
we are friends..but its more complicated than that as there are feelings involved..and it is mutual..

I wasn't being dramatic..i just made a few comments here and there...but not in a over the top way..but he took it as I was annoyed at him..when actually i was just showing him that he can't just snap his fingers and have what he wants i,e ( taking me out on a date)..after so long..thats all..

I was sympathetic to him having a rough time..but i just couldnt help making the little comments,
For example he said things like..why are you so busy now? and i said..well u disappeared for however many months..(implying lik u can do it and i cant)?

and also when he did mention us meeting i did tell him to wait before i give him a date..aand i mentioned the disappearing act again and was lik u waited this long..whats another week to wait to meet me? that kinda thing..

obviously in hindisight it was stupid of me to say these thingd
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Old 12-29-2013, 09:16 PM
 
307 posts, read 273,097 times
Reputation: 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Good Lord, do you blame the guy?

Leave him alone!

He really likes you, and you, for whatever reason, string him along.

Just let him be.
im not stringing him along.. but imagine if someone ditched u for nine months... no word..no call no facebook nothing!!!!!

how would u react if thy came back NINE MONTHS LATER?? thats not that far off a year...

its about pride too as i dont want him to think it was ok and he can just have exactly what he wants when he wants!!!
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Old 12-29-2013, 09:19 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 40,826,749 times
Reputation: 39310
Quote:
Originally Posted by candy 87 View Post
im not stringing him along.. but imagine if someone ditched u for nine months... no word..no call no facebook nothing!!!!!

how would u react if thy came back NINE MONTHS LATER?? thats not that far off a year...

its about pride too as i dont want him to think it was ok and he can just have exactly what he wants when he wants!!!

OMG... NO Facebook? Oh the horror....
Great gravy... are you in junior high?

Ditch the drama... lose the pride... and let the guy alone.
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Old 12-29-2013, 09:20 PM
 
Location: FL
1,400 posts, read 1,361,560 times
Reputation: 2007
That's disrespect to drop off the face of the earth like that. Give him a mulligan with the caveat...don't let it happen again.
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Old 12-29-2013, 09:21 PM
 
307 posts, read 273,097 times
Reputation: 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by grumptacular View Post
My translator ran out at the end of your post and I lost what you are trying to ask?

It sounds like he has somethings to work on, and maybe you should just let him
what did u get up to?

he came back in to contact at the beginning of this month..nine months after he disappeared...

and i was trying to take it all in..and he was like being intense again..lik emotion wise and saying he wants to see me and why cant i meet him etc etc...it was like nothing for so long and then all of this in one go..

and i reacted in a defensive way i guess..like longing out the process of us meeting and he got annoyed at me a few times and said he didnt kno why he bothered and he would leave me to it..
but i managed to get it back on trackk..

now he's kind of backed of and not calling or messaging..and im wondering is it because hes waiting for me to open up? or pursue him instead of him? i dont know
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Old 12-29-2013, 09:23 PM
 
307 posts, read 273,097 times
Reputation: 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
OMG... NO Facebook? Oh the horror....
Great gravy... are you in junior high?

Ditch the drama... lose the pride... and let the guy alone.
excuse you..but what did you not understand about HIM coming in to contact with ME?
HIM wanting to take me out to dinner?? and HIM calling and messaging me after NINE months zero contact?
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