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To the OP, I don't see where holding hands in a movie or complimenting your lips has to do with sex talk? If I reach over to hold a womans hand during a date it doesn't mean sex. Same with complementing her her lips, nose or ears. If he was looking at you like a drooling dog and saying he wanted to bang you that would be a different story.
True. It just gave me a weird vibe LS. Funny thing is later the next evening we were discussing the ethnic/racial backgrounds of our previous partners (relationship partners); I told him mine and asked his. He noted his and made the most disparaging remark, "but you're all pink on the inside".
Really?
Haven't talked to him since then. My "creep" radar was right.
Definitely didn't respond, I thought silence was best in this situation, and that's how I left it.
This is how I approached dating and I always got what I wanted, I have some certain things I like in bed and don't want to wait till the end of time to figure out if she is game. I also certainly not going to stick around for a women who is dating 7 men to figure out what she wants either, I have way too much stuff going on to deal with that. But just because I have lots of interesting stuff going on does not mean I don't want to have regular sex either.
Think your right on the money with this one. A lot of men and women are going out on first dates with lots of people in the same time frame. As a man if you snooze you loose. Muti week or month courtships without sex are largely a thing of the past. You might have more luck with the conservitave no sex before marriage crowd.
Think your right on the money with this one. A lot of men and women are going out on first dates with lots of people in the same time frame. As a man if you snooze you loose. Muti week or month courtships without sex are largely a thing of the past. You might have more luck with the conservitave no sex before marriage crowd.
Even conservatives who preach your last sentence from the pulpit, you have no idea what the women in the pews are doing behind closed doors or at some establishment after work on a date.
Well the only thing I can tell you is that in order to get what you want, its a numbers game. You are just going to have to go out on a ton of dates until you get what you want. And to improve the numbers game you can't simply rely on a ton of men asking you out. You have to be willing to ask out a ton of men that you think are your type.
I really don't want to bring race into this, but I am a black woman dating primarily black men, and I'm just thinking maybe I need to date outside of my race. I mean, you never know. Maybe it will be the same, maybe it won't.
well, its not just about race.. i mean you've been living in chicago and new jersey, what did you expect?
I've never really had this problem with men I've dated, and I tend to date blue-collar guys who are kind of rowdy-natured and very sexually experienced - people that others tend to view as "uncouth." I've actually found that the white-collar guys are more likely to get sexually pushy early on, for some reason - often during the initial emails or chats which means they never get anywhere with me. And despite having many male friends, I've never had one ask me to sext them. And I've been on dates with men from a variety of races - I don't see any trends with regard to that.
OP, I'm not blaming you AT ALL for the actions of your dates, but maybe you could do some things differently? You tolerate open disrespect from a man you say is a close friend, for one thing. And you say that you don't have many friends and that has influenced your response to him. That may mean in dating you are receptive to men you would otherwise screen out in ideal circumstances.
I think you would benefit from working on your confidence and assertiveness and expanding your social circle in general. If you come off as vulnerable and lonely, you will attract men who are a bit predatory in nature. In fact, I feel like by deliberately hiding your sexuality, you send a signal that it is something you are uncomfortable with and that translates into weakness for guys like that.
Know what you want and how you want to be treated. Don't accept people who treat you poorly, whether they are romantic prospects or friends or family. Be who you WANT to be rather than, say, dressing conservatively because you worry how others will react.
You seem unhappy, and I know from your posts on here that you are a nice person. You DESERVE happiness, and maybe that should be your focus rather than dating for the time being. Being unhappy makes you vulnerable to people who will make you even unhappier.
I've never really had this problem with men I've dated, and I tend to date blue-collar guys who are kind of rowdy-natured and very sexually experienced - people that others tend to view as "uncouth." I've actually found that the white-collar guys are more likely to get sexually pushy early on, for some reason - often during the initial emails or chats which means they never get anywhere with me. And despite having many male friends, I've never had one ask me to sext them. And I've been on dates with men from a variety of races - I don't see any trends with regard to that.
OP, I'm not blaming you AT ALL for the actions of your dates, but maybe you could do some things differently? You tolerate open disrespect from a man you say is a close friend, for one thing. And you say that you don't have many friends and that has influenced your response to him. That may mean in dating you are receptive to men you would otherwise screen out in ideal circumstances.
I think you would benefit from working on your confidence and assertiveness and expanding your social circle in general. If you come off as vulnerable and lonely, you will attract men who are a bit predatory in nature. In fact, I feel like by deliberately hiding your sexuality, you send a signal that it is something you are uncomfortable with and that translates into weakness for guys like that.
Know what you want and how you want to be treated. Don't accept people who treat you poorly, whether they are romantic prospects or friends or family. Be who you WANT to be rather than, say, dressing conservatively because you worry how others will react.
You seem unhappy, and I know from your posts on here that you are a nice person. You DESERVE happiness, and maybe that should be your focus rather than dating for the time being. Being unhappy makes you vulnerable to people who will make you even unhappier.
Bringing something up in an email is different than being "pushy", its one thing to bring something up and another thing to keep pushing it. White colar peoples time is typically more valuable than blue colar (that of course depends on the specific white or blue colar job and life style of the individual of course) but generally I dont want to spend tons of time going back and forth with messages and dates and talking if the person is ultimatly not sexually compatable with me. Perhaps the blue colar rowdy guy already has a FWB on the side while he is talking to/dating you so he does not care as much.
Bringing something up in an email is different than being "pushy", its one thing to bring something up and another thing to keep pushing it. White colar peoples time is typically more valuable than blue colar (that of course depends on the specific white or blue colar job and life style of the individual of course) but generally I dont want to spend tons of time going back and forth with messages and dates and talking if the person is ultimatly not sexually compatable with me. Perhaps the blue colar rowdy guy already has a FWB on the side while he is talking to/dating you so he does not care as much.
There are all sorts of things that factor in.
That's perhaps the dumbest excuse I've ever heard for being rude and creepy. If you're telling women where you want to lick them on email #2 I really hope you stay single for a long time, because nobody's time is that valuable.
That's perhaps the dumbest excuse I've ever heard for being rude and creepy. If you're telling women where you want to lick them on email #2 I really hope you stay single for a long time, because nobody's time is that valuable.
I hear the Japanese are into that kind of thing.
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