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Rushing is not really knowing the person you are marrying.
The younger the age, the more likely that is. Younger adults tend to not even really know themselves either, as they are still developing their education, career, and self identities. Without knowing themselves, it can be very difficult to really analyze others and decide on who is a good match personality-wise, much less someone with the same life goals and ideals.
That doesn't mean it cannot happen, or that a younger couple cannot make things work either.
However, the statistics bear out that the younger a couple is when they get married, the far greater chance they have at divorce... and all these reasons are components to it.
Of course, it sounds like you and your husband took plenty of time, years, to develop yourselves and your relationship with each other too.
I agree with this. Personally, I think the early to mid 20s are all about discovering yourself and what you want and who you want to be. I bet in 10 years or less those that I know that married at these ages will probably be divorced. Not all but a few. Marriage is a huge step. I think some young people think they will be together forever so they jump into settling down.
Generally speaking, The only guys I see getting married in their early 20's are dudes who are not so attractive and generally undesirable. Many times it's the first or second girl who gave him any type of sexual attention and he's says "I gotta lock her down now because I don't know when the next(if it will ever) come".
You're never gonna see a guy who looks like bradley cooper get married as a Sophmore in college.
I'm in my mid-twenties (a scary thought), and I cannot imagine getting married right now.
I thought I was a grown adult in my mid-20's, and even in my early 20's for that matter, but when I look back at any of the women I dated at that age, I can't imagine how miserable I would be if I had married any of them. I'm a completely different person now than I was then, with different life goals, values, and desires, and attracted to different things. I assume the same is true of them. I would recommend anyone wait until at least 30 to get married these days, unless you think your life path is unusually set at an early age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by emcee squared
I am having way too much fun having little responsibility. I don't mean that in a negative way. I go to school, I travel weeks out of the year, I party with friends, etc. This is the part of my life where I am to enjoy freedom.
For what it's worth, I'm 40ish now and still feel the same way about my life. The difference for me, is that "the rest of my life" doesn't seem like such an impossibly long time now as it did when I was 20 or 25, and therefore the idea of being with one person for the rest of my life seems much more doable, and is something I will probably end up doing.
For what it's worth, I'm 40ish now and still feel the same way about my life. The difference for me, is that "the rest of my life" doesn't seem like such an impossibly long time now as it did when I was 20 or 25, and therefore the idea of being with one person for the rest of my life seems much more doable, and is something I will probably end up doing.
Definitely. Each person will settle down at a different time. 40ish is only 15 years down the road for me (scary thought).
Generally speaking, The only guys I see getting married in their early 20's are dudes who are not so attractive and generally undesirable. Many times it's the first or second girl who gave him any type of sexual attention and he's says "I gotta lock her down now because I don't know when the next(if it will ever) come".
You're never gonna see a guy who looks like bradley cooper get married as a Sophmore in college.
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Originally Posted by nearnorth
True. Unless he's a Mormon. Or he's in the South, and he got her pregnant.
My college sweetheart and I married in the late '80s. I was a junior, and he had recently graduated. We were somewhat unusual for the time, but several of our best friends also married that year. Going on 25 years now, we're all still together. None of us were religious, southern, or particularly homely. Nor were any of us pregnant. In fact, we all waited until our thirties to begin having children.
I think people should marry whenever they feel they're ready. By no means should young people feel pressured to marry early, but neither should they delay because they've been told they "need to find themselves first" if the right mate comes along in their early twenties.
Last edited by randomparent; 01-05-2014 at 06:12 AM..
Like the above poster, I married my college sweetheart a few weeks after we graduated from college. We wanted to be together and were willing to make compromises to do so. We attended grad school as a married couple, and tackled finding jobs, etc. as a couple. It was a bit unusual, but like the above poster several of our friends (college and high school) were married that same year. All of the people we know that were married that year are still together with the exception of one. The wife in that couple was killed by a drunk driver a few years later.
One can choose to look at us as co-dependent or one can look at us as wanting to be part of a team that was working towards a common goal. We were a couple making our way in the adult world together. Either way, it worked for us although it was far from easy. We are not from the south, uneducated, or unattractive, and I was not pregnant at the time.
Our oldest child is now that age and in a serious relationship. At times I wish she was not so serious, but I also realize that one cannot control when a future mate appears in life.
One can choose to look at us as co-dependent or one can look at us as wanting to be part of a team that was working towards a common goal. We were a couple making our way in the adult world together. Either way, it worked for us although it was far from easy.
Exactly.
On another note, many divorced couples in my social circle were older when they married, most commonly thirty-something professionals who met at work.
This is all anecdotal, of course, but it does counter the oft-repeated sentiment expressed here at C-D that an early marriage is doomed to failure.
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