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I am gllad some you understand the situation. There is nothing easy about this at all. Its not fun.I am not a PUA going through a slow period .It is very difficult to meet people in my area for many different reasons.
Have you looked at meetups, and other activity/hobby groups? Charity events?
Fine, Ruth, let him risk his gym membership and be labeled a creep in a small town gym, Lol
It really depends on his m.o. Yeah, if he's too overt, it would be a problem.
Here's something to think about, OP. If you've been casually friendly with people at the gym, saying hello, or asking if they're waiting to work in to the machine you're on, or whatever, then if they see you around town, they'll already feel a little familiar with you. They, or you, might start up a convo at that point. This can work out well.
I made banter/introduced myself to this really attractive gal I see there every Saturday around the same time I go, mostly just as a personal dare. She's one of those hard core workout buffs who I can tell doesn't mess around...we were next to each other at the squat racks and she was getting after the leg workout as hard as I was, but I've seen her talking to people so I know she's not a total coldfish. But she's definitely one of the "hot chicks" in the free-weight area of the gym. All the guys are drooling at her packed into her spandex workout pants in between their sets. No foolin'. I catch'em doing it while I'm busy trying to myself...anyway yeah...that chick.
I moved to an different part of the gym to do a different leg workout and she happened to wander over next to me to use the leg press machine. I said okay, no chickening out - this is too obvious an opportunity to pass up, so batter up. I leaned in at an OK moment and made a comment about it musta been leg day for her too. Nothing special. Just was trying to figure out if she was friendly or not and nothing more. She was. I caught a bit of surprise...good surprise, on her face that I was trying to go there, so it wasn't bad. Not sure if I'll talk to her again or anything but I took an obvious one and ran with it. Can't care too much one way or the other.
Point is, you can talk to women at the gym, but it isn't a bar or nightclub. Has to be under the right circumstances and context to come off as natural as possible. Don't just go bugging them on the elliptical because they're in front of you. At the very least you should be able to recognize them as a regular so you can start it off friendly. That at least gives you something to start with "hey I see you here all the time blah blah blah."
Fine, Ruth, let him risk his gym membership and be labeled a creep in a small town gym, Lol
If it's a small town, you're actually the weird guy if you don't talk to anybody. Maybe you don't know how small towns are...people are extra nosy and want to know what everybody's deal is.
If it was a gym in the middle of a big city, that's different I suppose...perfectly acceptable to ignore strangers if you want to. But even big cities are just large conglomerations of micro communities, like people who go to the same gym.
OP: Approaching women at the gym has worked for me in the past. Granted, as others have stated, you must tread carefully and be sure she is giving you the green light.
If you are in a small town this won't work but I belong to gym with multiple locations in the metro area where I live. Very possible to go to a different gym and see if you hit it off with any of the ladies at a different spot.
I once dated the spinning/yoga instructor from my gym a number of years back. There have been a few others that I have dated from the gym. So it can work but it doesn't happen that often....
You know I just thought of something-maybe more reminded of it. Other than those few times I have approached someone I keep pretty quiet(very quiet probably) at the gym other than talking to other guys I know there. I just now realized it scares the crap out of me to start over again. What I mean is I have seen these women on a regular basis but hardly said a word. Can I just go back now and start talking to them about just regular things, or just being nice? What if they already think "why is the guy who is so quiet talking to me at all?" I think I have always had this problem and you get yourself in a hole and you don't know where to start or restart to get out of that hole. You just clam up and get quiet. So dating may actually be the least of the problem. I am not great nor have I ever been at talking with women casually or otherwise unless they make some sort of approach towards me..
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