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Old 01-02-2014, 05:55 PM
 
6 posts, read 8,786 times
Reputation: 10

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I've been dating this guy for a little over 3 months.. Everything was perfect, I never clicked with anyone as much as him and he said he felt the same way.. So much so that we have talked about my daughter and I moving in with him.. He lives an hour away.. My problem is we both recently got divorced but we have bedn separated both for almost two years... I was married 17 yrs and with my ex for 18 we have a daughter... My bf was married for 19 no kids... But he and his ex still chat a lot... It bothers me so I had asked him to stop but he has continued... He said he doesn't need to talk to her but he still does... I only talk to my ex about our daughter nothing else... The last text that I know of from his ex was... Good morning. I hope you're enjoying your days off ...... I think they still have major feelings but he says no.... I'm so confused :-(
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Old 01-02-2014, 06:57 PM
 
Location: USA
7,776 posts, read 12,443,357 times
Reputation: 11812
3 months isn't long enough to really know someone. How old is your daughter? Why be so quick to live with someone? My son married a woman after knowing her for 6 months. I told her she didn't know him well enough and she told me she knew him better than I did. His sister and I rolled our eyes. She actually thought she could change him.

You don't like for him to talk with his ex, but he does it anyway. Do you think he will stop when you move in? It won't. He will just take the phone into another room. Does he cook? Do you both work? Is your daughter going to get on his nerves? How do you know. You need to stay where you are. Pay attention to what your gut is telling you.
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Old 01-02-2014, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
533 posts, read 1,711,147 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi3 View Post
3 months isn't long enough to really know someone. How old is your daughter? Why be so quick to live with someone? My son married a woman after knowing her for 6 months. I told her she didn't know him well enough and she told me she knew him better than I did. His sister and I rolled our eyes. She actually thought she could change him.

You don't like for him to talk with his ex, but he does it anyway. Do you think he will stop when you move in? It won't. He will just take the phone into another room. Does he cook? Do you both work? Is your daughter going to get on his nerves? How do you know. You need to stay where you are. Pay attention to what your gut is telling you.
Good advice.
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Old 01-02-2014, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Area 51.5
13,887 posts, read 13,671,534 times
Reputation: 9174
I thought I'd accidentally wandered into the "Relationships" section.

That said, you won't change him. If he wants to talk to his ex, let him. If you can't handle it, go your separate ways.
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Old 01-02-2014, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Stillwater, Oklahoma
30,976 posts, read 21,636,949 times
Reputation: 9676
Quote:
Originally Posted by madmom928 View Post
I've been dating this guy for a little over 3 months.. Everything was perfect, I never clicked with anyone as much as him and he said he felt the same way.. So much so that we have talked about my daughter and I moving in with him.. He lives an hour away.. My problem is we both recently got divorced but we have bedn separated both for almost two years... I was married 17 yrs and with my ex for 18 we have a daughter... My bf was married for 19 no kids... But he and his ex still chat a lot... It bothers me so I had asked him to stop but he has continued... He said he doesn't need to talk to her but he still does... I only talk to my ex about our daughter nothing else... The last text that I know of from his ex was... Good morning. I hope you're enjoying your days off ...... I think they still have major feelings but he says no.... I'm so confused :-(
If he has really become interested in you as someone new and exciting in his life, you should have already noticed him talking less to his ex.
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Old 01-02-2014, 08:29 PM
 
6 posts, read 8,786 times
Reputation: 10
My daughter is 9... we don't plan on us moving in right now but he mentioned it and talks about it.. He said that they don't talk as much as they did. I just don't understand why you would go out of your way to do it.. Not to mention he told me he didn't need to talk to her or even want to but continued to do so. I just want to know am I overreacting or do I have a right to question it.. I fill he lied..
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Old 01-02-2014, 08:30 PM
 
6 posts, read 8,786 times
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Sorry feel*
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Old 01-02-2014, 08:31 PM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,243,097 times
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Three months is not long enough knowing someone to even consider moving in with them in my opinion.
It also depends on the age of your child and the fact that you are jealous of his ex and wanting to control who he talks to and who he doesn't.
Not everyone who divorces hates each other and they do remain friends and talk to each other often even if they do not have children.
My husband still talks to and see his ex wife, she is a part of his life and will always be a part of his life.
They were married for a number of years, they have children together and they have grand children.

PS ~~ There is no relationship that is "perfect" in the real world.
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Old 01-02-2014, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Keystone State
1,765 posts, read 2,197,114 times
Reputation: 2128
Quote:
Originally Posted by madmom928 View Post
I've been dating this guy for a little over 3 months.. Everything was perfect, I never clicked with anyone as much as him and he said he felt the same way.. So much so that we have talked about my daughter and I moving in with him.. He lives an hour away.. My problem is we both recently got divorced but we have bedn separated both for almost two years... I was married 17 yrs and with my ex for 18 we have a daughter... My bf was married for 19 no kids... But he and his ex still chat a lot... It bothers me so I had asked him to stop but he has continued... He said he doesn't need to talk to her but he still does... I only talk to my ex about our daughter nothing else... The last text that I know of from his ex was... Good morning. I hope you're enjoying your days off ...... I think they still have major feelings but he says no.... I'm so confused :-(
A couple of things: PLEASE listen to the advice given on this thread:

1) 3 MONTHS IS TOO SOON TO MOVE IN TOGETHER!!!

2) For the sake of your 9 y/o daughter 3 months is too soon to move in together!!!

3) Think of it this way: Your daughter is 16-17-18-19 or whatever age... she wants to move in with her bf after only knowing him for 3 months and he is still talking with his ex (who he doesn't have children with) what would your advice be to her...

4) Did your boyfriend end the previous relationship or did she end it? If she did, chances are he is still hung up on her

5) For the sake of your 9 y/o daughter, you DO NOT KNOW THIS MAN LONG ENOUGH to take a chance

6) You think he is lying to you---how do you know?---are you checking his phone? If so, DO NOT MOVE IN WITH HIM!


Best of luck to you....
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Old 01-02-2014, 09:11 PM
 
6 posts, read 8,786 times
Reputation: 10
We are not moving in right now... I asked him to stop talking to his ex... I asked how he would feel if I did the same he said he wouldn't like it.. He also deletes his texts... If you're just saying have a good day why delete them.. I asked him to save them and he still deleted some... Just makes me think he's hiding something.
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