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Hmm, I haven't encountered that issue on OKC, but I have on POF. Its "Top Prospects" list of users that I have the "highest probability of having a long term relationship with" makes me want to hurl.
Its almost worth reading those selections for the humor.
I was kinda suspecting something like that. LOL!
I have also seen researchers here in Norway stating that a sizeable majority of people who use dating sites can also be found on the club scene. About two and a half years ago, I joined a large, well-known and supposedly serious dating site here, and until I managed to delete the profile a couple of months ago, they were regularly sending me "updates" containing photos of the exact same women that had been on there when I joined.
All in all, I'd say it's not worth the hassle, and definitely not worth the cost of the paid services.
I don't know if it's all bad. I generally don't know where to meet women who would be into me in real life, so if anything, it's a potentially wider audience where someone might stumble upon me.
Also, while I not getting dates into the real world, I have a feeling it would be frustrating trying to weed through to the childfree ones like myself. Online dating lets me filter out the breeders. Those are big pluses in my book.
My question is: Can I expect to get dates with the same kind of women I'd meet in real life using online dating as a 21 year old male assuming I make my profile the best it can be? Or does using online dating require men to lower their expectations?
So far I haven't had any luck with the kind of women I'd normally be able to date. They just do not seem to be interested in me on POF.
I'll admit my profile isn't that great and I actually got some pointers to fix it. Before I give POF any more of my time I want to make sure its worth it based off other people's experience. No point throwing good after bad right?
Yes I am a college student. Before someone says its easy to find women in college, I'll say its easy to find easy women, and I'm not interested in them. I don't do well on the bar scene mostly because I don't like the women I meet that way. I've been using POF to supplement my dating pool because of this and how I just don't meet a lot of women I want to date in my day to day life.
there is a classic episode of The Boondocks called "Attack of the Killer Kung Fu Wolf *****"
I think you may have misunderstood my situation. I do alright in real life when I find someone who interests me. I've done poorly online. I'm not sure if its my profile or that's just the way it is.
Firstly its a fiesta de chorizo online. I might even suspect that player men have multiple profiles not only for selective marketing , but also to keep the worlds apart. Works like a pheromone bait trap saturating the market with phony suiters. Unlimited replication and male is just begging for this.
That said you are also a reducible commodity . If you hit all the points just right like 6'2" , 6 figures and look like a GQ guy you are a hot online commodity of photos and stats. Other intangibles, not easitly measured will not be. Thus an otherwise charming guy at 5' "6 is a horrible candidate because of flunking measurable qualifiers.
Some of my information is gleaned from singled co-workers..
So if you are doing alright, why bother? And do you have a disqualifying online defect?
I generally don't know where to meet women who would be into me in real life,
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Online dating lets me filter out the breeders.
Can't say I'm surprised at statement 1 after seeing statement 2
You miss my point though - the vast majority of active online daters are also active "real life" daters. Particularly the successful ones. Your success rate at IRL dating is a pretty good indication of your success rate at OLD, at least according to what the pundits are saying over here. Things may or may not be different where you are, depending on how differently humans evolved there
My question is: Can I expect to get dates with the same kind of women I'd meet in real life using online dating as a 21 year old male assuming I make my profile the best it can be? Or does using online dating require men to lower their expectations?
What kind of women would you meet in normal daily life?
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So far I haven't had any luck with the kind of women I'd normally be able to date. They just do not seem to be interested in me on POF.
First problem: PoF
That site simply isn't known for producing quality relationships or connections. Do they happen at times? Sure. But that's the exception and not the rule.
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I'll admit my profile isn't that great and I actually got some pointers to fix it. Before I give POF any more of my time I want to make sure its worth it based off other people's experience. No point throwing good after bad right?
PoF was not worth it to me, and I used that site on and off for over two years. I had *much* better luck on OKCupid.
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Yes I am a college student. Before someone says its easy to find women in college, I'll say its easy to find easy women, and I'm not interested in them. I don't do well on the bar scene mostly because I don't like the women I meet that way. I've been using POF to supplement my dating pool because of this and how I just don't meet a lot of women I want to date in my day to day life.
First, what are you looking for? Casual dating or a relationship? What is it you like or desire in a partner? I'd start there. If you're looking for casual, then PoF may not be a bad choice. If you want someone and something of substance, well, there are other places to look.
The majority of my serious relationships and connections, those who were/are serious about what they're looking for, and generally those I deem of high caliber, started on OKCupid. My current relationship started there, as did my past relationships.
I don't know if it's all bad. I generally don't know where to meet women who would be into me in real life, so if anything, it's a potentially wider audience where someone might stumble upon me.
Also, while I not getting dates into the real world, I have a feeling it would be frustrating trying to weed through to the childfree ones like myself. Online dating lets me filter out the breeders. Those are big pluses in my book.
They can lie about that too. I remember one time I found an adorably cute guy on one of those peoplemeet.com websites so I decided to pursue and send him a message. Turns out he had 5 kids and lived with the children's mother. Can you say drama?
How old are you anyways? I can hardly find any suitors around my age without children. Ugh.
Expect a lot of fat chicks and a ton of mediocre chicks with an inflated sense of attractiveness due to the shear number of guys that message everyone hoping for a bite. They obviously don't see it that way, or rationalize that they don't just get "fished" for a bite.
Anyways, unless you are super attractive. It's work. Though you can have success, I find its more work than its worth.
You're in college. Get out and meet some new women dude.
What kind of women would you meet in normal daily life?
First, what are you looking for? Casual dating or a relationship? What is it you like or desire in a partner? I'd start there. If you're looking for casual, then PoF may not be a bad choice. If you want someone and something of substance, well, there are other places to look.
The majority of my serious relationships and connections, those who were/are serious about what they're looking for, and generally those I deem of high caliber, started on OKCupid. My current relationship started there, as did my past relationships.
P.S., I am a woman.
As far as meeting women is concerned I just don't meet many attractive women, or really many women in the first place. I'm an engineering student and I live off campus so unless I go and study/hang out on the artsy side of campus or in the student Union its unlikely I'll see anyone I'm attracted to. My major is something like 75% men and the college of engineering is kind of off on its own part of campus where anyone who isn't an engineer doesn't have any business being. Not really complaining but that's the way it is. Most the people I meet are other men in engineering and women that haven't exercised since they were freshmen.
I'm looking for someone to take on a few dates and see what happens. I'm not really looking for any kind of relationship in particular. I don't really want to do the random hookup thing but if it only lasts a couple weeks or end up with a long term thing I'll be happy either way.
One of my friends recently posted on Facebook she took down her OKC profile after the last straw was having a 21 year old send her a message asking her to cuddle and pay his bills for him. She said if there's a market for her out there, it's not online. One of her friends responded she'd seen an interview about how the OLD algorithms are designed to give people good enough matches to give them hope they'll meet someone but not exact matches because if they successfully match too many members, they lose their customer base.
What's an "exact match"?
I never paid attention to the quiver matches. If the match percentage was in the 90's and the individual answered a lot of questions, around at least 500, then there's a good guess we have more than a little in common. Actually, everyone I've talked to or gone out with who I've "matched" with in the 90's have been great guys/dates. I can usually assume a we're highly matched on religion (nontheist/humanist), ethics/politics (socially liberal), and sex (into kink). Lifestyle, other, and dating may be in the high 80's or low 90's for some. I've gotten matched with a lot of men in their late 30's or early 40's who don't have kids (the career oriented), and some who do not want to have kids.
Generally, though, my highest matches are of high caliber. They're intellectual, educated, cultured, progressive, attractive, and sometimes, less often, the kind of nerdy and geeky that tickles my fancy.
My best matches all came from OKC. Two past serious relationships (the second was a 96% match percentage), some I dated briefly, and the relationship I'm currently in (97% with over 2200 questions answered; I answered over 1200). He and I are matched on every major criteria. While I have had many great interactions with highly educated and good-looking men, they were not in a similar place in life, and there were other things missing (nerdy/geeky attributes and interest in certain areas/disciplines).
I can usually judge the quality of a potential match by our match percentage and the number of questions he's answered.
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