Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
1st LTR 2 yrs, I settled.
1st marriage, she probably settled, but I did the best I could to not make her feel that way. I did good.
2nd marriage, we both settled and it was horrible.
I won't settle again. I would rather be miserable and single
37-year-old, never-married female. And no, I will never "settle." My life is already happy, so why would I accept someone who didn't add to that happiness and might even detract from it?
I have had a lot of chances to observe happy couples and unhappy couples. I've even observed a few couples that didn't seem to know they were unhappy. What I figure is that there's a lot of random chance involved - there may be a few viable mates out there for every person (I don't believe in "the one"), but what are the odds that you'll meet one of those people?
I'm not gonna count on meeting anyone, so I'm gonna just focus on being happy and building a life I enjoy. I was born in a stable, developed country to parents of moderate financial comfort, who also prioritized my wellbeing as I was growing up. I am educated and healthy, with a good career. I have a wide social network of friends and family. Frankly, the way I see it, I have no excuse to NOT be happy.
Another reason I will not settle is that from what I have observed, people who marry the wrong person are diminished while they are in that relationship. They are not their best self. They are not happy. They are not everything they can be for the other people in their life. The people I see in happy and healthy marriages are just the opposite - their marriages make them better and happier people.
Why risk sacrificing one's happiness and one's integrity just to be in a couple? I wish people didn't see being alone as such a horrific thing.
You're not wrong...but generally, broadly speaking... we settle everyday.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
No way I have ever or will ever "settle" for someone I don't love, I don't need to be in a relationship or married that badly.
You can love a partner, but not have the intense, burning passion of being "in love"... So, I believe a lot of people have loved partners they didn't feel a burning passion for, and could have possibly passed on them due to the absence of a "fleeting" feeling of passion.
But over time romantic passion is again, fleeting at worst and periodic at best.
Would much rather be loved.
Both both would be grrrrrrrrrrrrreat! That's the ideal.
You're not wrong...but generally, broadly speaking... we settle everyday.
If you think that is hostile you haven't seen real hostility
Quote:
You can love a partner, but not have the intense, burning passion of being "in love"... So, I believe a lot of people have loved partners they didn't feel a burning passion for, and could have possibly passed on them due to the absence of a "fleeting" feeling of passion.
But over time romantic passion is again, fleeting at worst and periodic at best.
Would much rather be loved.
Both both would be grrrrrrrrrrrrreat! That's the ideal.
If you consider that settling then IDK what to tell you. Maintaining the romantic passion in a relationship is not something that happens on its on. It takes effort.
You are not really in love with that person, but you think he/she is okay , will you settle for him/her??? Did you end up marrying that person?
Lmk if you are male/female
No. And, thank goodness!!
I want to marry someone I can truly say I'm madly in love with, someone who intellectually stimulates me, emotionally gets me, and encourages me to be a better person each and every single day.
Life is about passion. Without it, how can one live?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
