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Old 01-04-2014, 08:29 AM
 
1,156 posts, read 2,384,866 times
Reputation: 1435

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Quote:
Originally Posted by meaning View Post
Like I think those posters who bash me are lonely coz maybe they gave up on their marriage/relationship coz I think they think marriage is only for richer and richer and health and health ya know just the good side of life but when the going gets tough, bye see ya marriage! Really!?
Yeah, that's my perception of a lot of posters at times, too. A marriage "deal breaker" is whenever things stop getting fun and start to get real. Well, yeah, of course it's not going to work out if you approach it with that mindset.

But, a lot of people got really burned in their marriage and have scars far greater than mine. I try to remember how hard it was for me to trust after my divorce and cut 'em a little slack!
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Old 01-04-2014, 08:37 AM
 
24,832 posts, read 37,408,969 times
Reputation: 11539
I am not sure if it worked for me or, not.......

Years ago there was a migrant camp near my home. I met a tall dark and handsome man at the local store.

He caught my eye because he looked and acted a little different from the other Mexicans.

He did not speak English and over the summer would ask me the English names of many things.

I noticed I just had to tell him once....he was obviously very intelligent.

In time I learned he had a masters in physics.

We married in less than six weeks......it lasted less than five years.

I could write a book about these years.....getting his green card was an adventure.

In the end we divorced.....he is gained some things but, so did I.

I have about 25 acres in Honduras.....much of it has a white sand beach near Tela.......it had been in his family for years.

I hate him a little less as time goes on but, the marriage did not work.

I do belive we got along better when we did not know what the other person said......

Last edited by Driller1; 01-04-2014 at 08:46 AM..
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Old 01-04-2014, 09:40 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,988,315 times
Reputation: 15257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Haha I'm not, but why?
No less than 2 years dating 'face to face.'
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Old 01-04-2014, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,258 posts, read 64,496,657 times
Reputation: 73943
While I do not advocate this method for others, my wife and I pretty much knew within the first few months where it was gonna go.

But we were late 20s/early 30s, we'd had other long relationships, we knew what we wanted, we knew where we wanted to go, and we agree on so many gosh-darned things that it was fairly obvious...
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Full time RV"er
2,404 posts, read 6,588,314 times
Reputation: 1497
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
While I do not advocate this method for others, my wife and I pretty much knew within the first few months where it was gonna go.

But we were late 20s/early 30s, we'd had other long relationships, we knew what we wanted, we knew where we wanted to go, and we agree on so many gosh-darned things that it was fairly obvious...
I too have to say it is not for everyone . Myself .... 1963 , early 20's met my now wife of now 50 yrs., we dated 2 months , saw each other every day , 1 month later we got married and began our life together, getting to know each other, and working threw all that life tosses at you, raised 2 children.

Now fast forward 50 yrs and we are still working all that life tosses in front of all of us and enjoying our
"Golden Years".

Even when our grass turned a little brown ( so to speak) I knew is we kept feeding it, it would turn the color green that everyone is looking for.

Takes 2 willing workers to make any marriage work.
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:07 AM
 
Location: SoCal
148 posts, read 293,358 times
Reputation: 254
You need at least a year or two just to know the person. Why rush things anyways?
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:32 AM
 
11,864 posts, read 17,030,795 times
Reputation: 20090
When you know, you know. Nothing is guaranteed, even after two years, so I don't think there's anything wrong with getting married quickly.
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Old 01-04-2014, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,581 posts, read 35,023,106 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Absolutely NOT. As far as I am concerned, 2 years isn't even long enough. 5 years is getting close.
I totally agree. I can't understand how some people would do this 90 days and marry someone.

Same with the Bachelor (ette) show, I've only seen parts of it. A friend gets all gushy and thinks it's soooo romantic, but I am totally skeeved out by it.
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Old 01-04-2014, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,804,531 times
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At my age I don't have a couple of years to get to know someone if I want a family. I've been with the current girlfriend about 90 days, and I wouldn't be sure about marrying her yet. I wouldn't still date her if I didn't think it was possible, but I need more time, as I'm sure she does. I think my feelings for her are stronger than hers are for me, so it will take a while. But I won't wait longer than a year to figure it out, because I can't waste time.
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Old 01-04-2014, 01:32 PM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,106,086 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
When you know, you know. Nothing is guaranteed, even after two years, so I don't think there's anything wrong with getting married quickly.
I agree with you.
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