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Old 01-05-2014, 05:45 PM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,433,151 times
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My question on this, why can't these men or women find someone close to them to get to know and marry? Right there, that is the problem.

Why is the person coming here, to get married? They can't find someone in their own country? Or is it the lure of American citizenship? That makes the person pretty much focused on the desired outcome, being Amaerican, rather than who they are marrying...

I see set up for fail.
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,961,822 times
Reputation: 25363
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
My question on this, why can't these men or women find someone close to them to get to know and marry? Right there, that is the problem.

Why is the person coming here, to get married? They can't find someone in their own country? Or is it the lure of American citizenship? That makes the person pretty much focused on the desired outcome, being Amaerican, rather than who they are marrying...

I see set up for fail.
Who is this Amaerican you speak of?
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Old 01-05-2014, 07:44 PM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,433,151 times
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TLC's 90 Day Fiancé where long-distance couples try to overcome culture differences | Mail Online
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:30 PM
 
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Went out on date, had sex that night. Bumped into her 2 weeks later. She said she would take me up on the "help me get a Xmas tree" offer I made during our date. I helped her with her tree, and stayed over that evening. I never went home again! We have been very happily married for 18 years now. It can and does happen. I left out some details of the story, but it's certainly true love. I knew it from the first date, that first night that she was the one for me, and so did she.
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Old 01-05-2014, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,713,704 times
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To me, the "It's for a reality show" factor is more eyebrow-raising to me than the "90 days" factor.
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Old 01-05-2014, 10:49 PM
Status: "Spring is here!!!" (set 21 days ago)
 
16,489 posts, read 24,519,845 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
A new show on TLC is called 90 days fiancee. I'm wondering if you would ever do this? Some of the people travel across the world to meet each other then after 90 days marry. Many say it's not enough time to know each other. But say they talked on the phone, online, text and met a little. Perhaps then?
Then age can factor in it or an overly busy person?

What are your opinions of it?


I will say mine later.
This show involves K1 finace Visas. If a person wants to marry an US citizen they can come to the US with one of these Visa's and they have 90 days to marry. If they do not marry in that time they have to go back home. My ex-husband married a woman from the Phillipines this way.
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Old 01-06-2014, 08:49 AM
 
5,413 posts, read 6,724,040 times
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Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Why do you think it worked for you?
We are both stubborn? I really don't know...other then the from the day we met we 'knew'. We've certainly had our ups and downs over the years - no fairy tale at times - but it's been much more good than bad times.

I think one contributing factor has been that we are both 'what you see is what you get' sort of people for the most part. No dark secrets (a few suprizes!) to crop up later.
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Old 01-06-2014, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,961,822 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
We are both stubborn? I really don't know...other then the from the day we met we 'knew'. We've certainly had our ups and downs over the years - no fairy tale at times - but it's been much more good than bad times.

I think one contributing factor has been that we are both 'what you see is what you get' sort of people for the most part. No dark secrets (a few suprizes!) to crop up later.
Sometimes they are the best people upfront and honest.
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Old 01-06-2014, 09:42 AM
 
Location: In an indoor space
7,685 posts, read 6,218,150 times
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Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Sometimes they are the best people upfront and honest.
Like I always say "Direct, Straight and Blunt".

Have a great rest of the day my friend.
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Old 01-06-2014, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
678 posts, read 1,067,705 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
My question on this, why can't these men or women find someone close to them to get to know and marry? Right there, that is the problem.

Why is the person coming here, to get married? They can't find someone in their own country? Or is it the lure of American citizenship? That makes the person pretty much focused on the desired outcome, being Amaerican, rather than who they are marrying...

I see set up for fail.
Honestly, where I was at that point in my life, I was a little tired of dealing with American women and no I wasn't looking for a subservient woman. What I was looking for were more in the way of Eurocentric values as opposed to American values, so I went for it.

I can't answer for everybody but this wasn't the case for me. My wife could have stayed in her country but A) the women outnumber the men by 53 to 47% so it's not bad but it does give guys a slight advantage. B) She was 26 and in her country if you're not married by 21 you're considered somewhat of a spinster so her chances of marrying within her country were greatly reduced.

You have two choices when you marry a foreigner you can either get married abroad and spend about four months (spousal petition) apart while the visa and immigration process is complete or you can go the route of waiting about 18 months to get a fiance visa. The Fiance Visa route is actually easier but the government only gives you 90 days to get married. Irrespective of what route you take, after you're married you must still go through an interview with immigration. They don't have to come here to get married but it's easier to deal with immigration if you do, if something happens and a spousal petition is denied...congratulations, you are now legally married to someone that can't enter the US and at that point you can either move to their country, get a divorce or stay married in a really long distance marriage. So the fiance visa is much safer.

For my wife it wasn't for citizenship, she lived in Austria, Germany and Norway and had an opportunity to stay in any of those countries and we actually were planning on staying in Norway but the issue was with my ability to get a visa, not her.

Don't be fooled by the "allure of American citizenship" because there are many foreigners who marry an American and never become citizens. You don't automatically become a US citizen by marrying one, the person does qualify for a green card and only after 3 years of marriage can the spouse apply for citizenship. Many people keep renewing their green cards every 10 years without ever becoming a citizen.

Most people actually don't want American citizenship because once you get it you are now trapped into being taxed wherever you are in the world. America taxes on citizenship not residency, plus thanks to new laws that were enacted between 2000 and 2011, most American citizens can't get a legitimate bank account abroad. The scrutiny international banks receive from the US government looking for "tax evaders" doesn't make it worthwhile to do business with American citizens. So if a naturalized US citizen ever wanted to leave the country it becomes significantly difficult if you're a citizen.

Also if you "sponsor" or marry a foreigner you're responsible for them for 10 years. If that person gets to the point where they need public assistance the government can force you to pay $1000/mo (unless they've raised it) for 10 years because you sponsored them to come to the country. At the time of the application to USCIS you must sign an Affidavit of Support, if you don't fulfill it the sponsor can sue you because you've told the government that you'll support them. It's called an I-864 form you can find it on the USCIS website.

Getting married to a foreigner that you plan to sponsor should not be taken lightly and yes many people have been burned by marrying a foreigner but not everybody does, you just need to be smart about trusting what you see and hear but that's true with any potential relationship.
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