Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
Reputation: 41381
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007
I don't think you are a realist by the description you have presented in this thread.
Passive is more likely, particularly given, "After a lot of negative experiences, I have had to be guarded in terms in how I choose to look at a situation and who to trust. It is a protection mechanism for sure." Which you just posted.
Well that is your opinion I dont particularily agree with. I'm not passive, anyone who had crossed me has gotten confronted. I just acknowledge I dont control most and make decisions on fact and not hope.
Few people believe themselves to be out of touch with reality, so everyone is a "realist" by their own definition. Everyone's perception of reality is filtered through their own lenses based on their own set of experiences, however. Yes, that even includes you, OP. By calling yourself a realist you're saying that your interpretation of reality is somehow more correct than other people's. I doubt that.
On my journey to discover who I am really, one thing has been been unearthed that I cannot deny about my self.
I am a realist.
I look at things and see them for what they are on delivery for exactly what is in front of me.
I don't practice optimism generally.
I deal in facts, truth, and logic; not faith or hope generally.
I believe I can only control what I do in anything and let the chips fall wherever and deal with it.
Generally I believe in "it is what it is."
Being a realist turns a lot of people off. I can basically forget about having a relationship with anyone hyper-religious. I think people mistake realists for negative people. Therefore I think a lot of women may be turned off when they get to know me as a realist.
So ladies of CD, what has been your experiences in dating of realists?
Really difficult. The more extroverted ones especially. They can be funny. They can be very clever and charming, but day-to-day interactions? Constant battle. Constant debating.
Sometimes, I say, "Listen to your heart. You keep repressing what you really want, who you truly are, just be authentic!! Quit denying."
It's like they purposing repress certain aspects of themselves that they are unable to "let go" and feel vulnerable. Everything has to some degree be about being overly in "control." It's okay to surrender to things that feel a bit ambiguous. I can be a realist myself, but not to the extent of always arguing facts linearly. And, facts aren't always facts. Facts can change. Facts can be explored and evolved. Not everything is so stagnant. And, not everything is permanent and purely black and white (although some ethical issues are).
The wierdo part of me always wants to secretly tell them, "You are blocking your energy flow. Let go. Enjoy. It'll be alright. Just chilll."
So ladies of CD, what has been your experiences in dating of realists?
It's good that you are in touch with who you are. I happen to be an optimistic dreamer and always dated the optimistic dreamers of the world - even if others thought we were borderline delusional... Dreams are the start of creating wonderful realities IMO, but it can be obviously fraught with risk and setback.
IMO many realists believe they have more "control" on the risk and their destiny than they really do - so much is out of one's control, which is why I always go for the dreamers. I believe the realists are often out-of-touch with what is possible in life, and less creative, and more closed-minded. In effect, they more readily accept the answers and their lot in life as others have prescribed it.
I prefer to live in a perpetual state where anything is possible - even if unlikely - and where paths/conclusions are always questioned, and boundaries are always pushed or broken.
But as I said, there are many realists in the world like you, and I think more women are this way than not. I think it is harder for the dreamers to find partners who will accept the risks and uncertainties in that lifestyle - to take the road less traveled. I happen to thrive on that.
It's good that you are in touch with who you are. I happen to be an optimistic dreamer and always dated the optimistic dreamers of the world - even if others thought we were borderline delusional... Dreams are the start of creating wonderful realities IMO, but it can be obviously fraught with risk and setback.
IMO many realists believe they have more "control" on the risk and their destiny than they really do - so much is out of one's control, which is why I always go for the dreamers. I believe the realists are often out-of-touch with what is possible in life, and less creative, and more closed-minded. In effect, they more readily accept the answers and their lot in life as others have prescribed it.
I prefer to live in a perpetual state where anything is possible - even if unlikely - and where paths/conclusions are always questioned, and boundaries are always pushed or broken.
But as I said, there are many realists in the world like you, and I think more women are this way than not. I think it is harder for the dreamers to find partners who will accept the risks and uncertainties in that lifestyle - to take the road less traveled. I happen to thrive on that.
I like your thinking. I wish I had the ability to do it. I hate to fail, which is why I pick and choose the paths I'm going to take in life. I've had my setbacks and they made me stronger, but they could have just as easily broke me. I wasn't dealt a debilitating blow, so I was able to bounce back. It just took time.
I am a realist guy. Do your very best, never say never but realize sometimes things go wrong anyway. Good guys lose, heroes die, Love evades us and sometime the chosen path turns out to be wrong one despite one being "sure". Life goes on as long as we are still above ground and he hopefully just try our best.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
Realists often don't appreciate dreams. I can't say if they appreciate their own dreams, but they often don't appreciate the fanciful dreams of others.
Dreams are great if they can be realistically obtained. Dreams for the sake of dreaming? Well, not good use of precious energy and resources.
I like your thinking. I wish I had the ability to do it. I hate to fail, which is why I pick and choose the paths I'm going to take in life. I've had my setbacks and they made me stronger, but they could have just as easily broke me. I wasn't dealt a debilitating blow, so I was able to bounce back. It just took time.
Fear of failure is the biggest impediment to realizing dreams IMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Dreams are great if they can be realistically obtained. Dreams for the sake of dreaming? Well, not good use of precious energy and resources.
Dreams for the sake of dreaming is important IMO. Dreams stretch the mind to consider unforeseen possibilities. Reality can not always be defined by others limitations or by the limitations of an existing system. Systems can be changed, broken, re-created. Discoveries and inventions are waiting to be made.
There are very few people who are true dreamers in this world. I find them to be the most exciting people out there.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
and make decisions on fact and not hope.
