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Old 01-06-2014, 01:07 PM
 
993 posts, read 1,435,184 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueoceansandclearskies View Post
No you're not "too old." Just don't tell girls that you're a virgin and go for it. I recommend finding drunk girls at bars lol.
That's terrible advice. Persuading a person who's not in their right mind to have sex with you is called taking advantage of someone. Even if you don't find yourself in a worst case scenario where you get in legal trouble, it's still a sh*tty thing to do.

If you move you'll surely have a job where you'll be forced to socialize with others, right? In addition to that, you can find hobbies in the city you move to. Like, maybe you can join a rock-climing gym or be a regular at local events. With work and hobbies, you'll make friends.

Your first task should be making friends because having friends makes it significantly easier to find hookups. At your age, you'll look a bit less awkward in social hotspots (bars, clubs) if you're with others AND you'll be able to meet people through your new friends.
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Old 01-06-2014, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,795 posts, read 4,252,703 times
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There's no such thing as "too old to hook up," and if there were such an age it sure as hell wouldn't be when you're still in your 20's!
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Old 01-06-2014, 02:18 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
39,706 posts, read 31,241,641 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
There's no such thing as "too old to hook up," and if there were such an age it sure as hell wouldn't be when you're still in your 20's!

Absolutely

But having the first time as a random hook up isn't a good idea IMO
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Old 01-06-2014, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,795 posts, read 4,252,703 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Absolutely

But having the first time as a random hook up isn't a good idea IMO
Meh, I think most people put way too much emphasis on the whole "first time" thing. Your first time isn't going to be that great (other than the obvious), anyway, because you get better with practice. However it happens is fine, IMO.
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Old 01-06-2014, 02:40 PM
 
Location: moved
11,510 posts, read 7,183,752 times
Reputation: 19255
This is another case of the much-vaunted (but generally true) 80/20 rule. 80% of the most visible sexual activity, of the sort that forms gossip and popular lore, is done by 20% of the public. So in terms of feeling of having “failed” to partake of a carefree and glamorous phase of one’s social life, the OP has nothing to regret. He belongs to a silent majority.

That notwithstanding, college is a formative time for casual interaction. I don’t mean relentlessly wild debauchery, but building casual acquaintances of either gender. How good was the OP’s social network of acquaintances? Was it sparse and strained, or were people available – just maybe not for sex? Does the OP have acquaintances who might help with changing the oil in his car, or with editing his resume, or provide tips on where to find discount theater tickets? These are just random things, having nothing to do with sex or romance. If such a network is missing, it’s going to be very difficult to find leads for eventual intimacy. If they are present, but the leap to intimacy has for some reason been strained, then that (in my estimation) is a much smaller problem.

What is the OP’s field? Some fields, and some workplaces, are very conservative. Mine is an example. Most of our new-hires are fresh college graduates, freckle-faced nerdy types, who within a year of employment marry, and in 2-3 years have their first child. By their early 30s they have kids starting elementary school. “Parties” consist of neighborhood gatherings on somebody’s backyard deck, with a beer-cooler and grill, with the adults sitting on plastic furniture while the kids frolic in an inflatable pool.

So the point is to start building a network of casual acquaintances in the OP’s new location. This is even more fundamental than being a successful bar-hopper or party-attendee.

That’s the optimistic point. But there is also a cautionary point, and this goes far beyond sex, romance, hooking-up or anything along amorous lines. As people age, and form families, they withdraw into their families. All social contact becomes defined along family lines. If the OP is a successful single guy living in suburbia, he might be viewed as less than fully respectable neighbor. He’ll have a tougher time borrowing a lawnmower or getting help to shovel his driveway – and might be viewed askance, if he offers to shovel the neighbors’ driveway. It will be harder to get invited to those backyard gatherings. This is the reality of a certain segment of American life.
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Old 01-06-2014, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
17,706 posts, read 10,034,001 times
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You're never too old until you take your last breath or it doesn't work anymore. You're a late bloomer and that's OK too. Lots of people are. You're only 26. There's plenty of time. Your time may be in a loving, mature relationship later on. Patience is a hard habit to develop. I know a nice young girl of 24 that's never had a boyfriend.
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Old 01-13-2014, 09:15 AM
 
408 posts, read 634,864 times
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Of course I eventually want a relationship and indeed enjoy being with smart girls but I must say that I am quite envious of guys who went to parties and watched girls make out and kiss/have sex with them just because and I am kind of jealous that I missed out on it. I mean there are parties as an adult but not those kind.

And as for serious relationships girls generally consider me to be their friend, rather than boyfriend material.
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Old 01-13-2014, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Columbia, South Carolina
10,923 posts, read 6,322,181 times
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If you were 20 and still in school, I might suggest stepping out of yourselfand seeing if you could become the party animal type. At 26 and out of school, I think it's time to transition into a more stable atmosphere of trying to find someone worth being with and not a one night stand. I was late to the party, too, to be honest, and came to realize that I didn't just want to have sex with the first girl who would have sex with me. I wanted it to mean something.

Other than that, I have to echo what MJ7 wrote --
Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ7 View Post
You have to realize though, just because you are new to a new area it will NOT change who you are as a person...only you can do that. Good luck, now get out there and be somebody.
But be somebody worth being! Not a late 20s guy trying to be 19 again... for the first time!
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Old 01-13-2014, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Columbia, South Carolina
10,923 posts, read 6,322,181 times
Reputation: 12551
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1 View Post
Of course I eventually want a relationship and indeed enjoy being with smart girls but I must say that I am quite envious of guys who went to parties and watched girls make out and kiss/have sex with them just because and I am kind of jealous that I missed out on it. I mean there are parties as an adult but not those kind.
You need to get pastthat. For starters, it didn't happen as much as other guys claimed. Second, jealousy is a bad trait especially when you're basically jealous over people's lack of a moral fiber from back in college. you're not in college anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1 View Post
And as for serious relationships girls generally consider me to be their friend, rather than boyfriend material.
It only takes one special lady to think of you as something more. Secondly, you need to find out why they all seem to think this. For starters, maybe they don't allthink of you as friend material. Maybe you just think they do.

I'm in my 40s now. I could give myself back then some great advice, but really, I'm glad things worked out the way they did for me. I met the one special lady that was different from all the rest 20 years ago and am so grateful for that now. My best advice to you is to be true to yourself.
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Old 01-13-2014, 10:37 AM
 
408 posts, read 634,864 times
Reputation: 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe the Photog View Post
You need to get pastthat. For starters, it didn't happen as much as other guys claimed. Second, jealousy is a bad trait especially when you're basically jealous over people's lack of a moral fiber from back in college. you're not in college anymore.
It only takes one special lady to think of you as something more. Secondly, you need to find out why they all seem to think this. For starters, maybe they don't allthink of you as friend material. Maybe you just think they do.

I'm in my 40s now. I could give myself back then some great advice, but really, I'm glad things worked out the way they did for me. I met the one special lady that was different from all the rest 20 years ago and am so grateful for that now. My best advice to you is to be true to yourself.
So no more watching girls make out at all eh? (in real life I mean, not on the computer, in case someone suggests it).
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