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Old 01-08-2014, 03:08 PM
 
1,969 posts, read 3,953,100 times
Reputation: 1762

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So I've been dating this guy for a month.
A week or so ago he was showing me a video on youtube on his phone and as we were watching the video a email notification popped up stating that *his_screenname* has received a new message on *random_personals_site.com*

At that moment I didn't say anything. I thought maybe he is still receivinng notifications but not logging in and we only had 2 or 3 weeks under our belts... although he had already professed his intent to do everything to make this a great relationship and that he was infatuated and now "in love" with me. Grr at any rate I snorted kind of and let the notification disappear and we continued watching the video.

So after that incident I didn't think much more about it. But today I woke up with one of my strange feelings that something was awry. The site in question I too have an account with, although I haven't entered in over a month, so I went online to check his status, remembering his screenname from the email notification, and there he was lit green, ie online... and for "right now!"

Yes it's a month long relationship but with all his adoration, and expression of falling in love, and me being the best thing that's every happened to him, he has made me fall somewhat too. So now I feel kind of bad and upset.

Thoughts?
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:11 PM
 
Location: The Great West
2,077 posts, read 2,323,331 times
Reputation: 4099
Did he and you make it clear that you are in an exclusive relationship? If not, he may think he can still date others.
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Wandering in the Dothraki sea
1,404 posts, read 1,426,866 times
Reputation: 3415
I'm sorry. In my experience, if your gut is telling you something is amiss, it's usually correct. Though, is the site you mentioned Skout? Because a friend and I did a little experiment and we noticed that it would incorrectly label someone as "online now" who wasn't.
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:16 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,127 posts, read 9,308,862 times
Reputation: 11737
I would be wary of any guy who professed to be in love with me after only a month.
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:16 PM
 
1,969 posts, read 3,953,100 times
Reputation: 1762
Quote:
Originally Posted by savoytruffle View Post
Did he and you make it clear that you are in an exclusive relationship? If not, he may think he can still date others.
Oh yeah, like I've stated before, exclusivity is a must when dating me. It is always made clear.
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:17 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
90,447 posts, read 86,522,929 times
Reputation: 97143
"In love" with you after just 3 weeks? Adoration? You're the best thing that ever happened to him? In just 2 or 3 weeks? How often were you seeing each other? This sounds over-the-top/premature, which would be an obvious red flag. btw, what did he say when that notification flashed across his screen? Nothing? A sign he's taking your gullibility for granted.

You're feeling upset because he deliberately appealed to your ego, and now your ego is let down, and is kind of pitching a fit. Praise and the illusion of love can be addicting. Time to detox. Sorry, OP, but at least you found out early in the game. He's probably convinced he has you completely and naively hooked, so call his bluff, and end it. Good luck.
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,844 posts, read 12,055,357 times
Reputation: 9227
Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme View Post
So I've been dating this guy for a month.
A week or so ago he was showing me a video on youtube on his phone and as we were watching the video a email notification popped up stating that *his_screenname* has received a new message on *random_personals_site.com*

At that moment I didn't say anything. I thought maybe he is still receivinng notifications but not logging in and we only had 2 or 3 weeks under our belts... although he had already professed his intent to do everything to make this a great relationship and that he was infatuated and now "in love" with me. Grr at any rate I snorted kind of and let the notification disappear and we continued watching the video.

So after that incident I didn't think much more about it. But today I woke up with one of my strange feelings that something was awry. The site in question I too have an account with, although I haven't entered in over a month, so I went online to check his status, remembering his screenname from the email notification, and there he was lit green, ie online... and for "right now!"

Yes it's a month long relationship but with all his adoration, and expression of falling in love, and me being the best thing that's every happened to him, he has made me fall somewhat too. So now I feel kind of bad and upset.

Thoughts?
I don't know how those sites work--if you log into the site and don't log off but only exit the browser, does it still show you as "logged in"? I'm just curious and maybe playing devil's advocate.

Now, lets say the site automatically logs you off when you exit the browser--all that stuff he said AND he's logging into dating sites? 2 words--DUMP. HIM. You're all that great stuff for now until someone else comes along. If he truly felt that way then there would no need to log into a dating site, right?
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,844 posts, read 12,055,357 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I would be wary of any guy who professed to be in love with me after only a month.
Wasn't even a month. OP says they had 2-3 weeks under their belts when he professed all that stuff to her. I'd be running for the hills lol
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,795 posts, read 4,214,313 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme View Post
Oh yeah, like I've stated before, exclusivity is a must when dating me. It is always made clear.
I would find it odd if someone brought up exclusivity after only 2-3 weeks. Are you sure this was discussed, and he agreed to it?

Even then, somebody who is on a dating site isn't necessarily going on dates. He's probably keeping his options open, though.
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,795 posts, read 4,214,313 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
"In love" with you after just 3 weeks? Adoration? You're the best thing that ever happened to him? In just 2 or 3 weeks? How often were you seeing each other? This sounds over-the-top/premature, which would be an obvious red flag.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
Wasn't even a month. OP says they had 2-3 weeks under their belts when he professed all that stuff to her. I'd be running for the hills lol
Good point-- that stuff is even weirder than having the exclusivity conversation that early.
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